Best 339 of Sarcastic quotes - MyQuotes

By Anonym 15 Sep

Will Mcintosh

Carpe Diem, just remember that we're partying on the Titanic.

By Anonym 15 Sep

Josh Billings

When I see a man of shallow understanding extravagantly clothed, I feel sorry - for the clothes.

By Anonym 15 Sep

George Jean Nathan

The triumph of sugar over diabetes.

By Anonym 15 Sep

John Fogerty

Usually I just let my songs do the talking. As a matter of fact I have long had an aversion to celebrities endorsing politics, and in some cases even other causes. I wonder about their motives. And I have to admit when celebrities get involved in political campaigns I tend to get a little bit sarcastic about it.

By Anonym 16 Sep

Rea Lidde

It’s so obvious that you’re gonna ask a good looking dude to be with you for the rest of your holiday while you only know his name for like 2 hours, 32 minutes, 12 seconds.” “Trisha! Being mean is my job! June, you’re so predictable, like, it’s not a shock for us if you’re gonna ask a good looking dude to be with you for the rest of your holiday while you only know his name for like 2 hours, 33 minutes, 2 seconds.

By Anonym 19 Sep

Eleni Papanou

We’re automatons in a symphony conducted by a lunatic and performed by blind idealists.” Damon

By Anonym 13 Sep

Russell Lynes

Are you always this stupid or are you making a special effort today?

By Anonym 19 Sep

Vann Chow

Understandably she had a lot of suitors, just like any other girls in China with two arms and legs.

By Anonym 15 Sep

Oscar Wilde

Women are never disarmed by compliments. Men always are. That is the difference between the sexes.

By Anonym 14 Sep

Alexander Woollcott

She was like a sinking ship firing on the rescuers.

By Anonym 13 Sep

George Carlin

I often warn people: "Somewhere along the way, someone is going to tell you, 'There is no "I" in team.' What you should tell them is, 'Maybe not. But there is an "I" in independence, individuality and integrity.

By Anonym 16 Sep

Kaycee Browning

I really do mean to offend you, you know.

By Anonym 13 Sep

Rupert Hughes

Her face was her chaperone.

By Anonym 14 Sep

Bryan Singer

Since I started making films, I've been a nut for dialogue. When I first saw Star Wars when I was 12 years old, I came home and recited all of the lines from it. Before I talked about Death Stars exploding and Tie Fighters I was talking about how funny Princess Leia was and how sarcastic Han Solo was. So to me that's always the most important thing, and I love hearing great actors say great lines.

By Anonym 13 Sep

Jerry Seinfeld

I can't go to a bad movie by myself. What, am I gonna make sarcastic remarks to strangers?

By Anonym 13 Sep

Groucho Marx

I have had a perfectly wonderful evening, but this wasn't it.

By Anonym 17 Sep

Adhish Mazumder

Never trust your colleagues. Work politics are founded by them.

By Anonym 15 Sep

Vince Lombardi

We didn't lose the game; we just ran out of time.

By Anonym 17 Sep

Rachel Hawkins

No, but as a vampire, I'm able to detect subtle shifts in emotional energy.

By Anonym 13 Sep

John Ruskin

He thinks by infection, catching an opinion like a cold.

By Anonym 16 Sep

Kelley Armstrong

I needed to make choices for me, whoever I was. I’d say I needed to find myself, if that didn’t sound like I was heading into the Himalayas, taking only a backpack stuffed with angst and clean underwear

By Anonym 15 Sep

Johann Wolfgang Von Goethe

When ideas fail, words come in very handy.

By Anonym 14 Sep

Elsa Lanchester

She looked as though butter wouldn't melt in her mouth - or anywhere else.

By Anonym 15 Sep

Sam Bourne

because I am the king of this world. That's right, Costello.' He stood once again, 'I was once the master and lord supreme of this dominion. These people are my people. The lonely virgins living in their moms' basement who never read a conspiracy theory they didn't believe, and who never saw a corpse within 25 miles of the Beltway that died of natural causes - they are,' and here McNamara raised his arms aloft, in the manner of a TV Evangelist, to mimic a Southern preachers accent, 'my people.

By Anonym 13 Sep

Mark Twain

He was a solemn, unsmiling, sanctimonious old iceberg who looked like he was waiting for a vacancy in the Trinity.

By Anonym 16 Sep

Elisabeth Patterson

Flyaways should be called siblings because they are annoying and they get in the way.

By Anonym 17 Sep

Travis Jeremiah Dahnke

One time, I went to a restaurant and I asked the waiter for some food for thought. He left, came back, and tried shoving a sirloin in my ear.

By Anonym 16 Sep

Solange Nicole

I have a new found respect for Atlas.

By Anonym 15 Sep

Martyn V. Halm

Compassion: listening to a month’s worth of snivelling when you break up with yet another asshole.

By Anonym 15 Sep

Nm Facile

A man is a penis-wrinkle when calling him a dickhead would be a compliment.

By Anonym 14 Sep

Emily Deschanel

My whole family is very sarcastic and constantly making jokes.

By Anonym 15 Sep

Jane Green

When I first started writing, I was living in England and I had that uniquely English sense of sarcasm, which has definitely seemed to have left me. I am a naturalized American and my sensibility has become far more American.

By Anonym 13 Sep

Winston Churchill

Everyone has his day and some days last longer than others.

By Anonym 15 Sep

Roland Barthes

What I claim is to live to the full the contradiction of my time, which may well make sarcasm the condition of truth.

By Anonym 16 Sep

Rucy Ban

Guys like him? They were the worst kind. All looks and no heart. Guys not like him? They were all deceiving, freaking asshats.

By Anonym 13 Sep

Dick Cavett

Being the offspring of English teachers is a mixed blessing. When the film star says to you, on the air, 'It was a perfect script for she and I,' inside your head you hear, in the sarcastic voice of your late father, 'Perfect for she, eh? And perfect for I, also?'

By Anonym 13 Sep

Willie Rushton

German in the most extravagantly ugly language - it sounds like someone using a sick bag on a 747.

By Anonym 13 Sep

George Carlin

If the black box flight recorder is never damaged during a plane crash, why isn’t the whole airplane made out of that stuff?

By Anonym 15 Sep

Alanis Morissette

We'll love you just the way you are if you're perfect.

By Anonym 13 Sep

Arthur Miller

He's liked, but he's not well liked.

By Anonym 13 Sep

Mae West

If a little is great, and a lot is better, then way too much is just about right!

By Anonym 14 Sep

Ashleigh Brilliant

Strange as it may seem, my life is based on a true story

By Anonym 14 Sep

William Shakespeare

I would challenge you to a battle of wits, but I see you are unarmed!

By Anonym 14 Sep

Jennette Mccurdy

Sorry I’m so sarcastic. I feel really bad about it.

By Anonym 19 Sep

Erica Cope

This Jacoby character, regardless of how dreamy he may appear, is aiding and abetting my captivity. Not exactly the kind of guy you want to bring home to meet mom.

By Anonym 15 Sep

Noelle Crawford

All right, we need a way to get into the palace. Any ideas?" "Ask nicely? Charge in? Fly? Wait, do you mean reasonable ones?

By Anonym 15 Sep

James Thurber

With sixty staring me in the face, I have developed inflammation of the sentence structure and definite hardening of the paragraphs.

By Anonym 13 Sep

Oscar Wilde

He has no enemies, but he is intensely disliked by his friends.

By Anonym 13 Sep

Groucho Marx

Don't look now, but there's one too many in this room and I think it's you.

By Anonym 15 Sep

Charlie Brooker

When you're being earnest, people think you're being sarcastic and when you're being sarcastic, they think you're being earnest. The moral in all this, of course, is that people should never attempt to communicate.