Best 339 of Sarcastic quotes - MyQuotes
Carpe Diem, just remember that we're partying on the Titanic.
When I see a man of shallow understanding extravagantly clothed, I feel sorry - for the clothes.
George Jean Nathan
The triumph of sugar over diabetes.
Usually I just let my songs do the talking. As a matter of fact I have long had an aversion to celebrities endorsing politics, and in some cases even other causes. I wonder about their motives. And I have to admit when celebrities get involved in political campaigns I tend to get a little bit sarcastic about it.
It’s so obvious that you’re gonna ask a good looking dude to be with you for the rest of your holiday while you only know his name for like 2 hours, 32 minutes, 12 seconds.” “Trisha! Being mean is my job! June, you’re so predictable, like, it’s not a shock for us if you’re gonna ask a good looking dude to be with you for the rest of your holiday while you only know his name for like 2 hours, 33 minutes, 2 seconds.
We’re automatons in a symphony conducted by a lunatic and performed by blind idealists.” Damon
Are you always this stupid or are you making a special effort today?
Understandably she had a lot of suitors, just like any other girls in China with two arms and legs.
Women are never disarmed by compliments. Men always are. That is the difference between the sexes.
She was like a sinking ship firing on the rescuers.
I often warn people: "Somewhere along the way, someone is going to tell you, 'There is no "I" in team.' What you should tell them is, 'Maybe not. But there is an "I" in independence, individuality and integrity.
I really do mean to offend you, you know.
Her face was her chaperone.
Since I started making films, I've been a nut for dialogue. When I first saw Star Wars when I was 12 years old, I came home and recited all of the lines from it. Before I talked about Death Stars exploding and Tie Fighters I was talking about how funny Princess Leia was and how sarcastic Han Solo was. So to me that's always the most important thing, and I love hearing great actors say great lines.
I can't go to a bad movie by myself. What, am I gonna make sarcastic remarks to strangers?
I have had a perfectly wonderful evening, but this wasn't it.
Never trust your colleagues. Work politics are founded by them.
We didn't lose the game; we just ran out of time.
No, but as a vampire, I'm able to detect subtle shifts in emotional energy.
He thinks by infection, catching an opinion like a cold.
I needed to make choices for me, whoever I was. I’d say I needed to find myself, if that didn’t sound like I was heading into the Himalayas, taking only a backpack stuffed with angst and clean underwear
Johann Wolfgang Von Goethe
When ideas fail, words come in very handy.
She looked as though butter wouldn't melt in her mouth - or anywhere else.
because I am the king of this world. That's right, Costello.' He stood once again, 'I was once the master and lord supreme of this dominion. These people are my people. The lonely virgins living in their moms' basement who never read a conspiracy theory they didn't believe, and who never saw a corpse within 25 miles of the Beltway that died of natural causes - they are,' and here McNamara raised his arms aloft, in the manner of a TV Evangelist, to mimic a Southern preachers accent, 'my people.
He was a solemn, unsmiling, sanctimonious old iceberg who looked like he was waiting for a vacancy in the Trinity.
Flyaways should be called siblings because they are annoying and they get in the way.
One time, I went to a restaurant and I asked the waiter for some food for thought. He left, came back, and tried shoving a sirloin in my ear.
I have a new found respect for Atlas.
Compassion: listening to a month’s worth of snivelling when you break up with yet another asshole.
A man is a penis-wrinkle when calling him a dickhead would be a compliment.
My whole family is very sarcastic and constantly making jokes.
When I first started writing, I was living in England and I had that uniquely English sense of sarcasm, which has definitely seemed to have left me. I am a naturalized American and my sensibility has become far more American.
Everyone has his day and some days last longer than others.
What I claim is to live to the full the contradiction of my time, which may well make sarcasm the condition of truth.
Guys like him? They were the worst kind. All looks and no heart. Guys not like him? They were all deceiving, freaking asshats.
Being the offspring of English teachers is a mixed blessing. When the film star says to you, on the air, 'It was a perfect script for she and I,' inside your head you hear, in the sarcastic voice of your late father, 'Perfect for she, eh? And perfect for I, also?'
German in the most extravagantly ugly language - it sounds like someone using a sick bag on a 747.
If the black box flight recorder is never damaged during a plane crash, why isn’t the whole airplane made out of that stuff?
We'll love you just the way you are if you're perfect.
He's liked, but he's not well liked.
If a little is great, and a lot is better, then way too much is just about right!
Strange as it may seem, my life is based on a true story
I would challenge you to a battle of wits, but I see you are unarmed!
Sorry I’m so sarcastic. I feel really bad about it.
This Jacoby character, regardless of how dreamy he may appear, is aiding and abetting my captivity. Not exactly the kind of guy you want to bring home to meet mom.
All right, we need a way to get into the palace. Any ideas?" "Ask nicely? Charge in? Fly? Wait, do you mean reasonable ones?
With sixty staring me in the face, I have developed inflammation of the sentence structure and definite hardening of the paragraphs.
He has no enemies, but he is intensely disliked by his friends.
Don't look now, but there's one too many in this room and I think it's you.
When you're being earnest, people think you're being sarcastic and when you're being sarcastic, they think you're being earnest. The moral in all this, of course, is that people should never attempt to communicate.