Best 406 of Absurd quotes - MyQuotes

By Anonym 13 Sep

Rush Limbaugh

I know it's absurd, but they're out saying so, and Hillary [Clinton] makes a big, big deal about climate change.

By Anonym 15 Sep

Albert Camus

As if that blind rage had washed me clean, rid me of hope; for the first time, in that night alive with signs and stars, I opened myself to the gentle indifference of the world. Finding it so much like myself—so like a brother, really—I felt that I had been happy and that I was happy again. For everything to be consummated, for me to feel less alone, I had only to wish that there be a large crowd of spectators the day of my execution and that they greet me with cries of hate.

By Anonym 13 Sep

Victor Hugo

A translation in verse . . . seems to me something absurd, impossible.

By Anonym 15 Sep

Jorge Luis Borges

Cervantes' text and Menard's are verbally identical; but the second is almost infinitely richer.

By Anonym 15 Sep

Hamid-reza Assefi

The statements of certain western officials show that contrary to their absurd claims, westerners are disqualified, and impetuous, lacking any cultural background.

By Anonym 13 Sep

Alexander Hamilton

In politics, as in religion, it is equally absurd to aim at making proselytes by fire and sword. Heresies in either can rarely be cured by persecution.

By Anonym 15 Sep

Sheldon B. Kopp

We all live in a tragicomic situation, a life that is in part absurd simply because it is not of our own making. We are born into a disordered world, into a family we did not choose, into circumstances we would have had somewhat improved, and we are even called by a name we did not select. (40)

By Anonym 14 Sep

Mason Cooley

The absolute has moved into the fortress of the absurd.

By Anonym 13 Sep

Johann Wolfgang Von Goethe

English plays, Atrocious in content, Absurd in form, Objectionable in action, Execrable EnglishTheatre.

By Anonym 19 Sep

Josh Stern

The only threesome I've ever experienced is with Pantene 2 in 1

By Anonym 14 Sep

Daniel Berrigan

Most Americans would agree that Plowshares is a Theatre of the Absurd.

By Anonym 17 Sep

Khloe Beutler

My bones always crack. Sometimes, I like to imagine that one day, my back will split open, and beautiful wings will emerge.

By Anonym 15 Sep

Ljupka Cvetanova

A woman always has to prove her beauty.

By Anonym 19 Sep

Josh Stern

The only difference between me and a madman is that he has the certification

By Anonym 13 Sep

Brandon Lee

God knows the times I have found myself in absurd situations.

By Anonym 13 Sep

George Bernard Shaw

Absolute honesty is as absurd an abstraction as an absolute temperature or an absolute value.

By Anonym 15 Sep

Harold Prince

The truth is, for some absurd reason, no one is willing to admit that the interests of the producers and the theater owners are not the same.

By Anonym 19 Sep

Albert Camus

To a man devoid of blinders, there is no finer sight than that of the intelligence at grips with a reality that transcends it.

By Anonym 13 Sep

Moby

I always feel kind of absurd and presumptuous presenting a speech.

By Anonym 18 Sep

Ljupka Cvetanova

She said yes! She could have bargained for more.

By Anonym 20 Sep

Lemony Snicket

Yes, I know," Isadora said, and then read her poem, leaning forward so Carmelita Spats would not overhear: "I would rather eat a bowl of vampire bats than spend an hour with Carmelita Spats." The Baudelaires giggled and then covered their mouths so nobody would know they were laughing at Carmelita. "That was great," Klaus said. "I like the part about the bowl of bats.

By Anonym 17 Sep

Hermann Hesse

Now, he thought, since all these most easily perishing things have slipped from me again, now I'm standing here under the sun again just as I have been standing here a little child, nothing is mine, I have no abilities, there is nothing I could bring about, I have learned nothing. How wondrous is this! Now, that I'm no longer young, that my hair is already half gray, that my strength is fading, now I'm starting again at the beginning and as a child! Again, he had to smile. Yes, his fate had been strange! Things were going downhill with him, and now he was again facing the world void and naked and stupid. But he could not feel sad about this, no, he even felt a great urge to laugh, to laugh about himself, to laugh about this strange, foolish world.

By Anonym 16 Sep

Andrew Sullivan

It is a Bush administration official on the moment when torture breaks a victim: The job of the interrogator is to safely help the terrorist do his duty to Allah, so he then feels liberated to speak freely. From Neil Gaiman's account of a torturer in hell: We will hurt you. And we are not sorry. But we do not do it to punish you. We do it to redeem you. Because afterward, you'll be a better person ... and because we love you. One day you'll thank us for it. War is peace. Torture is freedom. In the end, you love Big Brother.

By Anonym 14 Sep

George Herbert

It's absurd to warme one in his armour.

By Anonym 15 Sep

Ottessa Moshfegh

Did you bring your book of nightmares?" Dr. Tuttle asked, sitting down behind her desk.

By Anonym 16 Sep

Charles R. Cross

In Newcastle, Kurt announced from the stage, “I am a homosexual, I am a drug user, and I fuck pot-bellied pigs,” another classic Cobainism, though only one of his three claims was true.

By Anonym 19 Sep

Ljupka Cvetanova

We can provide you democracy. When do you need it?

By Anonym 15 Sep

Salman Rushdie

Travel was pointless. It removed you from the place in which you had a meaning, and to which you gave meaning in return by dedicating your life to it, and it spirited you away into fairylands where you were, and looked, frankly absurd.

By Anonym 15 Sep

Arin Hansen

At age 6 I was born without a face.

By Anonym 16 Sep

Albert Camus

I think my life is of great importance, but I also think it is meaningless.

By Anonym 14 Sep

Aesop

It is absurd to ape our betters.

By Anonym 14 Sep

Marcus Tullius Cicero

The avarice of the old: it's absurd to increase one's luggage as one nears the journey's end.

By Anonym 15 Sep

Lena Dunham

And then, on the final day, it was time for the faux Underground Railroad. This is the part that no one believes. "No adult would ever do that," they say. "You can't be remembering that right." I am, in fact, remembering it perfectly. The counselors "shackled" us together with jump ropes so we were "like slave families" and then released us into the woods. We were given a map with a route to "freedom" in "the North", which must have been only three or four hundred feet but felt like much more. Then a counselor on horseback followed ten minutes later, acting as a bounty hunter. Hearing hooves, I crouched being a rock with Jason Baujelais and Sari Brooker, begging them to be quiet so we weren't caught and "whipped." I was too young, self-involved, and dissociated to wonder what kind of impact this had on my black classmates. All I knew was that I was miserable. We heard the sound of hooves growing closer and Max Kitnick's light asthma wheezes from beind an oak tree. "Shut up," Jason hissed, and I knew we were cooked. When the counselor appeared, Sari started to cry.

By Anonym 14 Sep

Tony Blair

It is absurd to say in respect of any intelligence that it is infallible, but if you ask me what I believe, I believe the intelligence was correct, and I think in the end we will have an explanation.

By Anonym 20 Sep

Steven Wright

When I was a kid we had a sandbox. It was a quicksand box. I was an only child...eventually.

By Anonym 14 Sep

Georges Braque

Take the birds which you'll have noticed in so many of my recent paintings. I never thought them up, they just materialized of their own accord; they were born on the canvas... it is absurd to read any sort of symbolic significance into them.

By Anonym 16 Sep

Josh Stern

If you deny the existence of a higher being, you've never been to rehab

By Anonym 15 Sep

Amy Riekhof

A brick and a blanket together create a blick. That’s it. That’s all I got.

By Anonym 15 Sep

Morrie Schwartz

When you look at it that way, you can see how absurd it is that we individualize ourselves with our fences and hoarded possessions.

By Anonym 15 Sep

Robert Browning

'Tis well averred, A scientific faith's absurd.

By Anonym 17 Sep

Joseph Heller

Nobody is sure anymore who really runs the company (not even the people who are credited with running it), but the company does run.

By Anonym 16 Sep

Dark Jar Tin Zoo

I unwrapped my love for her like one might unwrap leftovers. Gotta eat up the old stuff first, as a cannibal might say in a retirement home.

By Anonym 15 Sep

Ljupka Cvetanova

A man can love her wife, or he can be her husband.

By Anonym 15 Sep

Eric Andre

[The people that worked on The Simpsons] just had good taste. They knew how to execute absurd jokes.

By Anonym 16 Sep

Josh Stern

I love Shark Week, where all kids under 12 swim for free

By Anonym 16 Sep

Steven Wright

If warm air rises, Heaven could be hotter than Hell.

By Anonym 13 Sep

Stephen King

he looked to her like an absurd twentieth-century Hamlet, an indecisive figure so mesmerized by onrushing tragedy that he was helpless to divert its course or alter it in any way.

By Anonym 19 Sep

Graham Swift

This world which we like to believe is sane and real is, in truth, absurd and fantastic.

By Anonym 16 Sep

Dark Jar Tin Zoo

I love full on, like 65 mph in a handicapped parking spot.

By Anonym 16 Sep

Ljupka Cvetanova

Elections are called! May the better voters win!