Best 81 of Albert Brooks quotes - MyQuotes

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Albert Brooks
By Anonym 14 Sep

Albert Brooks

Steven Spielberg seems to have wanted to be a director from 13. He put his dog in a certain position and made him eat at four o'clock. He liked to direct it. But, to me, directing is tedious. Especially if you're acting in it. And I'm inherently lazy.

By Anonym 13 Sep

Albert Brooks

Bullfights are hugely popular because you can sit comfortably with a hot dog and possibly watch a man die. It wont be me, but I can sit comfortably and watch it.

By Anonym 13 Sep

Albert Brooks

All improv turns into anger. All comedy improv basically turns into anger, because that's all people know how to do when they're improvising. If you notice shows that are improvising are generally people yelling at each other.

By Anonym 15 Sep

Albert Brooks

You can equate acting to a tennis game: When you're playing one of the best, you get better.

By Anonym 14 Sep

Albert Brooks

Relaxation is the absence of worry.

By Anonym 14 Sep

Albert Brooks

Nothing surprises me. After Donald Trump, nothing matters, does it?

By Anonym 15 Sep

Albert Brooks

Your spouse should be just attractive enough to turn you on. Anything more is trouble.

By Anonym 14 Sep

Albert Brooks

I've always liked to think ahead. Not stupid-far ahead. A hundred years doesn't interest me. But 20 years interests me, and more for what happens to humans as opposed to things.

By Anonym 14 Sep

Albert Brooks

Once you sign on as an actor, you know, you don't go to the editing room, you don't see how they cut, you don't see how they score, you don't see how they cast the rest of the movie.

By Anonym 14 Sep

Albert Brooks

It's better to be known by six people for something you're proud of than to be known by sixty million for something you're not.

By Anonym 13 Sep

Albert Brooks

If you paint, write, do mosaics, knit - if it's solving that part of your brain saying, 'I need to do this,' you've won.

By Anonym 13 Sep

Albert Brooks

I don't know that I can define fear. But one of the sources of fear is holding up some sort of model life that doesn't exist and feeling like you're far away from it.

By Anonym 15 Sep

Albert Brooks

The whole world is tense. Everybody gets the international news. Theres been no American comedy at all that even remotely addresses the subject in any way. My goal isnt to solve the worlds problems. My character wasnt even able to do his assignment. But the premise of wanting to find out about somebody -- other than the stuff that the CIA will tell you -- theres no hope unless we do that.

By Anonym 14 Sep

Albert Brooks

I've always enjoyed stories that take place in the future but my one disappointment was that the future books described never came. We're not on other planets, there are no flying cars, and the only robots we have in our homes just sweep the floor. So I wanted to write about a future that I thought could really happen. People ask me when I tell them the title of the book, 'Are we all dead?' The good news is, no. We're still here. And I even think the future in my book is strangely hopeful, although I'm sure there will be people who strongly disagree.

By Anonym 14 Sep

Albert Brooks

My friend Harry Nilsson used to say the definition of an artist was someone who rode way ahead of the herd and was sort of the lookout. Now you don't have to be that, to be an artist. You can be right smack-dab in the middle of the herd. If you are, you'll be the richest.

By Anonym 15 Sep

Albert Brooks

What naturally stops you making the film is there is no more money in the budget. That's really what it is. If you had an unlimited budget, if you were a billionaire and you financed your own movies, then you can either date, because you can sit in an editing room for six years, like Howard Hughes, and never finish anything.

By Anonym 13 Sep

Albert Brooks

Even though my father was a radio comedian, it wasn't cool to say, at a young age, 'I want to be a comedian.'

By Anonym 13 Sep

Albert Brooks

If I'm going to act in someone's movie, I want the movie to be interesting and be able to get a couple of solid doubles.

By Anonym 15 Sep

Albert Brooks

When I audition, I understand what it takes and the insecurities that come with it. If I do anything, I put actors at ease. I used to tell directors who weren't actors, the best thing they could do was take an acting class for a couple of months. Just to understand.

By Anonym 13 Sep

Albert Brooks

'Drive' came to me because the casting director knew my manager and called and said, 'You've always talked to me about Albert wanting to play the heavy. I think he should read this.' My ears just perked up.

By Anonym 15 Sep

Albert Brooks

What's interesting about books that take place in the future, even twenty years in the future, is that many of them are black or white: It's either a utopia or it's misery. The real truth is that there's going to be both things in any future, just like there is now.

By Anonym 13 Sep

Albert Brooks

Donald Trump announces this morning that he will run for president. His hair will announce on Friday.

By Anonym 13 Sep

Albert Brooks

Be generous and you can be the best person who ever lived.

By Anonym 15 Sep

Albert Brooks

You make friends with older people and you always feel young no matter what.

By Anonym 15 Sep

Albert Brooks

What do you think the Devil is going to look like if he's around? Nobody is going to be taken in if he has a long, red, pointy tail. No. I'm semi-serious here. He will look attractive and he will be nice and helpful and he will get a job where he influences a great God-fearing nation and he will never do an evil thing... he will just bit by little bit lower standards where they are important. Just coax along flash over substance... Just a tiny bit. And he will talk about all of us really being salesmen. And he'll get all the great women.

By Anonym 13 Sep

Albert Brooks

I don't experience basic human emotions. It's not my thing.

By Anonym 14 Sep

Albert Brooks

I've done performances in movies that I was immensely proud of and the movies didn't take off like a rocket at Cape Canaveral, it didn't take off.

By Anonym 13 Sep

Albert Brooks

I'd still like to see 'Survivor' minus the planned show-biz parts. That would be the purest form of show business - I want to see someone so hungry that they eat somebody else's foot.

By Anonym 13 Sep

Albert Brooks

Excited about Black Friday. Also excited about Jew Tuesday.

By Anonym 13 Sep

Albert Brooks

If you want to be a writer, just write. There's no magic to it.

By Anonym 14 Sep

Albert Brooks

It's interesting when you're part of a group - the Jews, to be exact - that the world has had such problems with.

By Anonym 13 Sep

Albert Brooks

I don't think the goal is, 'How big a star did you ever become?' I think the goal is, 'Were you able to express yourself?'

By Anonym 20 Sep

Albert Brooks

When you use more than 3-5% of your brain, you don't want to be on Earth!" -Bob Diamond, Interdimensional Attorney, from the Albert Brooks' movie, Defending Your Life

By Anonym 13 Sep

Albert Brooks

If anything happens to me, tell every woman I've ever gone with I was talking about her at the end. That way, they'll have to reevaluate me.

By Anonym 15 Sep

Albert Brooks

There's always the standard six people you can hire that have played all these villains in Hollywood. Instinctively, when they come on screen, you know what's going to happen. You don't know the story, but you know what they do.

By Anonym 13 Sep

Albert Brooks

In my screenplays - from the very beginning I've always used tape. I talk my screenplays. And then have somebody transcribe them.

By Anonym 14 Sep

Albert Brooks

Someone asked me "what do you think of Donald Trump?" And I said, "I would rather vote for Hillary Clinton in jail." If she gets convicted, I'll vote for her for president.

By Anonym 13 Sep

Albert Brooks

Don't worry, and don't kick yourself forever. Just take the opportunities when they come.

By Anonym 15 Sep

Albert Brooks

You know, I became a director out of necessity. I was writing comedies, and I couldn't find anybody to deliver it correctly.

By Anonym 14 Sep

Albert Brooks

One of the things I like about a character: I always think it's fascinating when a character can turn on a dime and go from one emotion to another. I like watching that.

By Anonym 13 Sep

Albert Brooks

In the course of my movies, the financing and the releasing were always the tough part. Because I loved the creative, I loved the writing, I loved the making of it. Because I guess, I never had the giant blockbuster, I never got that sort of ease for the next one. So the next one was always, "how am I going to do this?" And that thing was sort of always the thing that made me a little chickenshit to go into the next one. The writing of it was great and the making of it was great, but how am I going to release this thing and am I going to find a studio?

By Anonym 14 Sep

Albert Brooks

Most entertainment is trying to get you. It's tested, like toothpaste.

By Anonym 13 Sep

Albert Brooks

Getting older is a lot of fun. Right up there with chewing glass or putting your hand in a blender.

By Anonym 13 Sep

Albert Brooks

If you look at the best-seller list for American fiction, they're all sequels to detective stories or stories about hunting serial killers. That's what's called American fiction these days.

By Anonym 14 Sep

Albert Brooks

Starting to drink now in preparation for New Years. No more last minute stuff like Christmas.

By Anonym 13 Sep

Albert Brooks

I come from the place where I am thinking 'I have put my blood on the pages.'

By Anonym 14 Sep

Albert Brooks

The biggest waste of brainpower is to want to change something that's not changeable.

By Anonym 13 Sep

Albert Brooks

Film is the cheapest part of the movie making process. The expense is the 100-man crew and the financing and everything.

By Anonym 14 Sep

Albert Brooks

I've always been the king of silence. I've always been a minimalist comedian. I've taken my influence from Jack Benny, who was the king of that I've always done 'less is more.'

By Anonym 15 Sep

Albert Brooks

Well, you know, with every character, if you're going to expose yourself, you've got to figure out every detail that you're going to play. So there's no character that you can just go put on his shirt and be fully prepared.