Best 263 of Augusten Burroughs quotes - MyQuotes

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Augusten Burroughs
By Anonym 13 Sep

Augusten Burroughs

A lot of being a writer doesn't have anything to do with writing. It's ironic - I have to squeeze the books in, even though that's what it's all about.

By Anonym 14 Sep

Augusten Burroughs

It terrified me to consider: What if, as a grown-up, I craved another body beside me as still as this one? What then?

By Anonym 13 Sep

Augusten Burroughs

But she did love him. I believe it. I know exactly how that is. To love somebody who doesn't deserve it. Because they are all you have. Because any attention is better than no attention.

By Anonym 13 Sep

Augusten Burroughs

A lot of people can be afraid of the masking because people can misrepresent themselves [in the Internet] and they can pose as people they're not. Well, yeah; that's true. That's one side of it. But the other side of it is that it equalizes you and if you happen to be a person who is not equal in the eyes of the greater society that's a damn good thing.

By Anonym 14 Sep

Augusten Burroughs

Nobody's trying to kill you, Deirdre. You're killing yourself.

By Anonym 15 Sep

Augusten Burroughs

When you say, "I need more confidence," what you're really saying is, "I need those people over there to approve of me." That is the desire to control other people and what they think. The first person who figures out how to do this owns the world.

By Anonym 13 Sep

Augusten Burroughs

He's a really nice guy, if only I weren't me.

By Anonym 15 Sep

Augusten Burroughs

The secret to being a writer is that you have to write. It's not enough to think about writing or to study literature or plan a future life as an author. You really have to lock yourself away, alone, and get to work.

By Anonym 13 Sep

Augusten Burroughs

After I got my coffee, I leaned against a stop sign and sipped, pretending it was a normal day and I was only up this early so that I could go running and not because I'd just been on a killing spree.

By Anonym 14 Sep

Augusten Burroughs

Should I just sit down, right here at carousel seven, and shake until somebody's arms are around me and they're saying, 'It's okay, I'm here, I'm here, come with me to the institute.

By Anonym 14 Sep

Augusten Burroughs

Love is a helium-based emotion; Love always takes the high road.

By Anonym 13 Sep

Augusten Burroughs

But feelings, no matter how strong or “ugly,” are not a part of who you are. They are the radio stations your mind listens to if you don’t give it something better to do. Feelings are fluid and dynamic; they change frequently. Feelings are something you HAVE, not something you ARE. Like physical beauty, a cold sore, or an opinion. Admitting you feel rage or terrible pain or regret or some old, rotten blame does not mean these feelings are part of who you are as a person. What these feelings mean is, you have to change your thinking to be free of them.

By Anonym 14 Sep

Augusten Burroughs

Our lives are one endless stretch of misery punctuated by processed fast foods and the occasional crisis or amusing curiosity.

By Anonym 15 Sep

Augusten Burroughs

The most mortifying fact of my life is something that happened when I was fourteen and I have never admitted to anyone: not to friends nor therapists; not even in rehab when we were detailing our own personal spirals of shame did I confess. It is this: I am a graduate of the Barbizon School of Modeling.

By Anonym 16 Sep

Augusten Burroughs

His laugh is made of porch swings and lemonade.

By Anonym 13 Sep

Augusten Burroughs

...handsome people are always interesting to watch. But a handsome person in crisis is riveting.

By Anonym 14 Sep

Augusten Burroughs

The dark side of blogging is, of course, people can be (and are) just savage and uncivilized, deeply cruel and fully unaccountable.

By Anonym 20 Sep

Augusten Burroughs

Why am I so anxious? And then it hits me. I'm not anxious, I'm lonely. And I'm lonely in some horribly deep way and for a flash of an instant, I can see just how lonely, and how deep this feeling runs. And it scares the shit out of me to be so lonely because it seems catastrophic - seeing the car just as it hits you.

By Anonym 14 Sep

Augusten Burroughs

My attraction had been immediate and profound. And it had nothing to do with the way he looked. My attraction was to what resided between his lines.

By Anonym 14 Sep

Augusten Burroughs

My window fogs and this makes me feel like there is no world outside of the car.

By Anonym 14 Sep

Augusten Burroughs

It was a salad bar of phobias

By Anonym 13 Sep

Augusten Burroughs

I don't have a fixed routine. I write every day but I don't "write" every day, if that makes any sense. In other words, I email with my friends constantly and sometimes I'll pull out something I've written and save it.

By Anonym 14 Sep

Augusten Burroughs

I understood at once, I am not living, but actively dying. I am smoking, living unhealthily. I’m shutting down. I need to go the other way, inside. And it was so clear to me what I was doing. It was suddenly perfectly clear. I understood, I need to write. Live here, in my words, and my head. I need to go inside, that’s all. No big, complicated, difficult thing. I just need to go in reverse. And not worry about what to write about, but just write. Or, if I’m going to worry about what to write, then do this worrying on paper, so at least I’m writing and will have a record of the anxiety.

By Anonym 14 Sep

Augusten Burroughs

My thoughts seem thick, ketchup stuck in a bottle. Like trying to feel someone's face while wearing goosedown mittens.

By Anonym 13 Sep

Augusten Burroughs

If you find you require willpower, you aren't ready to lose weight.

By Anonym 18 Sep

Augusten Burroughs

Part of me felt deep compassion. And another part felt like, You fucker.

By Anonym 17 Sep

Augusten Burroughs

My parents' divorce was explosive. But as with all things that explode, a clean, flattened area was created. I could see the horizon now. The fights between my parents would be over because they weren't speaking; the tension in the house would be eased because there was no house. The canvas was now clean.

By Anonym 13 Sep

Augusten Burroughs

Childhood is what ended me up in the hospital and teetering on the edge of deathly alcoholism. It was really good for me to accept it. To accept all the embarrassment and the shame so I don't feel like I used to.

By Anonym 13 Sep

Augusten Burroughs

I always tried to learn Greek, but all I got out of it was, "poulaki mou." ["My little chicken."]

By Anonym 15 Sep

Augusten Burroughs

What I think of blogs is just this: Some are beautifully written and many are not. But even blogs that aren't necessarily "well" written are great for the person writing them.

By Anonym 16 Sep

Augusten Burroughs

If we happened to be in rehearsal downstairs in my room and a neighbor padded across the lawn to rap gently on the window and ask us to please be more quiet, Natalie might simply lift up her skirt and mash her vagina against the window while extending her middle finger.

By Anonym 15 Sep

Augusten Burroughs

You cannot be a prisoner of your past against your will. Because you can only live in the past inside your mind.

By Anonym 16 Sep

Augusten Burroughs

I think out of seven billion people, there is probably more than just one soul mate. Surely, the paid employee in charge of each person's love life has taken into account the possibility of fatal snake bites and heavy falling objects.

By Anonym 14 Sep

Augusten Burroughs

Saying just the right thing after a considerable, awkward pause is far less effective than saying the wrong thing with perfect timing. I'm telling you.

By Anonym 14 Sep

Augusten Burroughs

Like cubic zirconia, I only look real. I'm an imposter. The fact is, I am not like other people.

By Anonym 13 Sep

Augusten Burroughs

For exactly the same reason, it is sometimes satisfying to cut yourself and bleed. On those gray [sic] days where eight in the morning looks no different from noon and nothing has happened and nothing is going to happen and you are washing a glass in the sink and it breaks - accidentally - and punctures your skin. And then there is this shocking red, the brightest thing in the day, so vibrant it buzzes, this blood of yours. That is okay sometimes because at least you know you're alive.

By Anonym 14 Sep

Augusten Burroughs

I tend to really enjoy being swept up in fiction. I love a good story and I admire fiction authors.

By Anonym 14 Sep

Augusten Burroughs

Other people sound flat to my ear; their words just hang in the air. But when my mother says something, the ends curl.

By Anonym 13 Sep

Augusten Burroughs

Decisions are beautiful. They are the evidence of thought and care. Decisions are the polishing cloths of life.

By Anonym 14 Sep

Augusten Burroughs

Once I decided to write, to be published, I knew it would happen.

By Anonym 16 Sep

Augusten Burroughs

It was time to leave. He was insufferable, had toilet problems, looked demented to begin with, and now he was the accomplice to a cat killer. Yet did I leave? No, I sat there. And I thought, What has happened to me? Why am I not rising up off the sofa? Why am I not leaving?

By Anonym 16 Sep

Augusten Burroughs

I want to feel calm and at ease. Like someone who lives in Half Moon Bay, California, and makes hummus from scratch. Instead, I feel like I'm a contestant on some awful supermarket game show where I've got sixty seconds to hurl my shopping cart down the aisles, piling it with as much as possible before the buzzer goes off.

By Anonym 14 Sep

Augusten Burroughs

It turned out I had always been a smoker. I just hadn't had any cigarettes.

By Anonym 13 Sep

Augusten Burroughs

Glen had a disability more disfiguring than a burn and more terrifying than cancer. Glen had been born on the day after Christmas. "My parents just combine my birthday with Christmas, that's all," he explained. But we knew this was a lie. Glen's parents just wrapped a couple of his Christmas presents in birthday-themed wrapping paper, stuck some candles in a supermarket cake, and had a dinner of Christmas leftovers.

By Anonym 14 Sep

Augusten Burroughs

New York City is a place where you can lock yourself up in your little studio apartment, and not go outside at all, and not feel in the slightest guilty about it.

By Anonym 13 Sep

Augusten Burroughs

I could write another collection of personal essays from what has happened to me in the last year alone. I don't seek out my material - it finds me. I am magnetic, somehow.

By Anonym 13 Sep

Augusten Burroughs

Because I've lived in one room my entire life, working at the same table that you use to pay bills at and eat at. It's going to be nice to have actual space.

By Anonym 13 Sep

Augusten Burroughs

I can't tell you how much I love Target and Costco, that kind of culture, because it's something I never felt a part of. I've always felt like a tourist because I have never fit in anywhere.

By Anonym 13 Sep

Augusten Burroughs

As a young child I had Santa and Jesus all mixed up. I could identify Coke or Pepsi with just one sip, but I could not tell you for sure why they strapped Santa to a cross. Had he missed a house? Had a good little girl somewhere in the world not received the doll he'd promised her, making the father angry?

By Anonym 13 Sep

Augusten Burroughs

I did not consider him to be any kind of a genius. I considered him deeply lacking in the area that mattered most in life. Star quality.