Best 295 of Zach Braff quotes - MyQuotes

Follow
Zach Braff
By Anonym 13 Sep

Zach Braff

I really do take more vacations than the president. You can quote me on that.

By Anonym 13 Sep

Zach Braff

Hitler had the right idea. He was just an underachiever.

By Anonym 14 Sep

Zach Braff

Sure, it was terrible and all, but you have to ask yourself: If the whole city was flooded, why couldn't they just swim to safety?

By Anonym 13 Sep

Zach Braff

I mean, what's eleven million people now days?

By Anonym 13 Sep

Zach Braff

Every single person wants to do it, don't hate me because I had the guts to follow my heart!

By Anonym 14 Sep

Zach Braff

I was stuck in traffic one day and just kinda thought it would be funny to masturbate. It was sunny and clear out, so I was worried one of the other drivers would see me, but my jeep is pretty high off the ground, so I think no one noticed. I busted a nut and aimed it down, ruining my tweety bird floor mat. I felt kinda stupid after and my mom kept silent the rest of the drive home. It was awkward and I regret it.

By Anonym 20 Sep

Zach Braff

You know that point in your life when you realize that the house you grew up in isn’t really your home anymore… All of the sudden, even though you have some place to put your shit, that idea of home is gone… Or maybe it's like this rite of passage… You will never have that feeling again until you create a new idea of home for yourself, you know, for your kids, for the family you start. It’s like a cycle or something. Maybe that’s all family really is: a group of people that miss the same imaginary place.

By Anonym 15 Sep

Zach Braff

Women are like parking spots, the best ones are handicapped.

By Anonym 14 Sep

Zach Braff

Somebody approached me about writing a biography on me, I told them they were too late.

By Anonym 13 Sep

Zach Braff

I mean, I understand that Scrubs was my big break, but sooner or later you have to move on. I've already directed a movie, which received very good reviews, so it just seems much more important to me now. I feel that in order to better foster my creativity as an actor and director at this point, I need to be surrounded by other talented, artistic individuals, instead of just goofy comedians.

By Anonym 13 Sep

Zach Braff

If you're dumb enough to volunteer for the army, I don't see why we're supposed to feel so bad when you get shot. I'm not saying we should throw a party or anything, but is it such a tragedy? If I'd gotten shot before I made 'Garden State', yeah, that's a tragedy, but some red-state hick getting his legs blown off? Come on.

By Anonym 14 Sep

Zach Braff

My tears cure cancer too, it's just that I laugh at cancer patients.

By Anonym 14 Sep

Zach Braff

That cyclone in Burma? That was just me doing the dance to that annoying ass song.

By Anonym 13 Sep

Zach Braff

Im just not really attracted to black chicks.

By Anonym 15 Sep

Zach Braff

Well I don't like to think too far ahead because it scares me a little to think of what this world will come to after I'm gone, but I suppose life will have to go on, right? At least everyone will still be able to watch reruns of Scrubs.

By Anonym 13 Sep

Zach Braff

I love signing autographs! Sometimes, when people ask me for one, I keep the photo for myself and frame it. It's a Win-Win situation really; I get an extra 25 dollars in my pocket AND another portrait for my bedroom.

By Anonym 15 Sep

Zach Braff

You know I was just taking a dump one day, and then as I sat there I realized, I really do deserve better.

By Anonym 13 Sep

Zach Braff

I love queers as much as the next guy, I just don't think I should have to sit beside them on public transport.

By Anonym 14 Sep

Zach Braff

Seriously, when's the last time you saw me wear shorts?

By Anonym 15 Sep

Zach Braff

You always see black people complaining about this and that, but you never see me complaining about how slow they work on my plantation.

By Anonym 13 Sep

Zach Braff

A lot of people say colonialism was 'evil' or whatever, but what have they really done with Africa since we gave it back to them? I don't think it should be considered 'racist' to admit maybe ending apartheid did more harm than good in South Africa.

By Anonym 13 Sep

Zach Braff

I always wanted to direct movies. That's what I set out to do. When I was a little kid I just dreamed of making movies, and I went to film school [at Northwestern University].

By Anonym 13 Sep

Zach Braff

If we've learned anything, it's that the combination of yellow smiley faces and blue polyester vests are irresistible to the inbred.

By Anonym 13 Sep

Zach Braff

I'm always being told by directors that I add chemistry to scenes, so I mean how difficult could it be?

By Anonym 13 Sep

Zach Braff

I don't want to blame it all on 9/11, but it certainly didn't help matters.

By Anonym 13 Sep

Zach Braff

I mean, nobody's ever thrown a big rock at me or my friends, but we're all pretty tough guys and could probably handle it.

By Anonym 14 Sep

Zach Braff

Sometimes, I go to Barnes & Noble with the sole intention of moving all copies of the bible to the fiction section.

By Anonym 14 Sep

Zach Braff

Over half a century on and they're still complaining about it. Compare it to the fact that Garden State didn't win an Oscar and they seem a little petty if you ask me. I guess that just goes to show what kind of people they really are.

By Anonym 14 Sep

Zach Braff

I was inspired by World Vision. It's almost like I sponsored (Donald) Faison and gave him an opportunity to do something with his life. What more would he want than to work with me?

By Anonym 13 Sep

Zach Braff

I had a dream once. I wanted to do a line of cocaine off a hooker's ass. That's when I realized, 'Hey, I'm freakin' Zach Braff.' I did it the next morning.

By Anonym 14 Sep

Zach Braff

I think the saddest moments in life have humor in them. I have a memory of coming home from a funeral with my family in the back of a limousine and someone cracking a joke and us just hysterically belly laughing. It's how we always dealt with tragedy in our lives and I think it's such a healthy way to deal with sadness.

By Anonym 13 Sep

Zach Braff

I always liked the story of Noah's Ark and the idea of starting anew by rescuing the things you like and leaving the rest behind.

By Anonym 13 Sep

Zach Braff

I'm sick of people saying I hate blacks, women, and gays. It's false and slanderous. Everyone who knows me knows I hate the Chinese.

By Anonym 14 Sep

Zach Braff

Sometimes I regret not being Catholic. I think I'd make a pretty good saint.

By Anonym 13 Sep

Zach Braff

I like to think of myself as the Chris Benoit of the movie industry, capable of taking any picture and carrying it to box-office success. Take Garden State, without me that would have just been two hours of Portman doging.

By Anonym 14 Sep

Zach Braff

My mother's a psychologist, my stepfather's a psychologist, my stepmother is a therapist and my dad's a lawyer. So it was all prominent in my life. I don't know anyone who doesn't know someone on some form of prescription medicine.

By Anonym 14 Sep

Zach Braff

It raises several serious questions. For example, how can there possibly be more than one person as awesome as me?

By Anonym 14 Sep

Zach Braff

It's... it's such a weird thing. After Garden State, so many companies wanted to make my movies, and after The Last Kiss, I realized people would make anything I was in. As long as I keep this up I'll be swimming in chubby indie girl pussy.

By Anonym 14 Sep

Zach Braff

Some people just can't handle that they will never be a better actor than me

By Anonym 15 Sep

Zach Braff

Well, I'm not saying that America is a bad place or anything. I just think 9/11 needed to happen sooner or later.

By Anonym 15 Sep

Zach Braff

When you win your first Grammy, it's true, you really want to thank all the little people.

By Anonym 14 Sep

Zach Braff

My favorite meal? It has to be furburgers everyday in the morning.

By Anonym 14 Sep

Zach Braff

People always say The God Father is the #1 movie of all time. But ask yourself, did you see Zach Braff in it....No you didn't. So then by default it goes to Garden State..and if youwatch two episodes of scrubs back to back that counts as the #2.

By Anonym 14 Sep

Zach Braff

I think a big part of being a success is confidence. Just look at me, I know I'm successful, and I am.

By Anonym 13 Sep

Zach Braff

I definitely try to play a common man in my roles so people can identify with my characters, but the truth of the matter is that it doesn't really matter what I do or my lines are, I'm still Zach Braff, and people know I'm better than them.

By Anonym 13 Sep

Zach Braff

I lot of people remember when that kid spray-painted my brand new Porsche for Punk'd. That was pretty funny. He got me pretty good. Of course, most people don't know I eventually got him back with my own show. I call it a show, really it's just an hour-long video shot in my bedroom featuring the two of us.

By Anonym 13 Sep

Zach Braff

Didn't we learn our lesson from Planet of the Apes?

By Anonym 13 Sep

Zach Braff

I feel really bad for everyone who died on 9/11. Not just the people in the World Trade Center, Pentagon, or Flight 93, but all of the terrorists, too. 'Garden State' came out in 2004. That means none of them got a chance to see it. Let that sink in for a second. No wonder they're building a memorial.

By Anonym 13 Sep

Zach Braff

I have no desire to make money off musicians. I just want to promote them because I want to share music.

By Anonym 15 Sep

Zach Braff

There's a lot of gray area in the law. Who can say, without a doubt, that I was in the wrong?