Best 648 of Comedian quotes - MyQuotes

By Anonym 13 Sep

Justin Timberlake

I'm not a comedian so I'll probably get crucified for saying this, but I think with a lot of comedy the impetus behind it is: I've been rejected so many times and I'm bitter and now I'm going to talk about it.

By Anonym 15 Sep

Steve Harvey

Your dream has to be bigger than your fear.

By Anonym 15 Sep

Jack Dee

The jokes are great but what really matters for a comedian is his performance, his whole attitude, and the laughs that he gets between the jokes rather than on top of the jokes.

By Anonym 14 Sep

Wendy Liebman

I've been pitching a show of five female stand-up comedians through the generations, from Phyllis Diller to Amy Schumer, so when I got an e-mail asking me if I would participate in the Women in Comedy Festival, I was thrilled.

By Anonym 13 Sep

Colin Firth

I often think it can often be very difficult for comedians to revisit the same gag. I think Russell's a bit more than a comedian.

By Anonym 13 Sep

John Podhoretz

Comedians and impressionists used to be two different showbiz animals entirely, but now there's no such thing as a comedian who doesn't do impressions.

By Anonym 14 Sep

Woody Allen

Nietzsche says that we will live the same life, over and over again. God - I'll have to sit through the Ice Capades again.

By Anonym 13 Sep

Judd Apatow

If you make a bad movie about stand-up, then comedians will mock you for the rest of your life.

By Anonym 13 Sep

Ricky Gervais

Funny bones, to me, are more important than funny lines. If a comedian is just not likable and doing the lines, you could read them yourself. Whereas if someone [you like] shambles out, and they tell you what a bad day they've had, they don't have to say anything. I love them. I want to hug them because they've been through something. And it comes back to empathy, always empathy.

By Anonym 20 Sep

Deyth Banger

You hate a subject… you hate a topic… didn't you learn something as comedian... IN SCHOOL?

By Anonym 15 Sep

Sherrilyn Kenyon

You’re so hilarious. You know, if this whole Daimon-slaying gig doesn’t work out for you, you should really consider being a comedian. The bright Barney hair color would just add to the overall entertainment factor.

By Anonym 15 Sep

Matthew Perry

To be a comedian, you have to have some darkness behind it. I certainly draw on my past, and it helps.

By Anonym 14 Sep

Eric Bana

Just from my own experience, a lot of the comedians I used to work with were miserable in their actual lives. I think you need to be able to see a lot of negative in things in order to extract material, so there's probably something to that. A lot of the people I used to work with were very, very, very unfunny offstage, so that's a pretty common thing.

By Anonym 13 Sep

June Diane Raphael

I'm not referring to an up-and-coming comedian. I am referring to the host of The Profit. He invests his own money into small businesses that need to be turned around. He becomes partners in them. And I love the way he does business, and I love his integrity, and I love where his head's at, and I love what he has to say, and I learn from him.

By Anonym 13 Sep

Iliza Shlesinger

As a comedian, as an entertainer, there's a lot of downtime. Once you can accept that comedy is a marathon, not a sprint, it gets a little easier.

By Anonym 13 Sep

Jamie Foxx

I am a comedian and you guys know whatever I say, I don't mean any of it.

By Anonym 14 Sep

Stephen Fry

It's now very common to hear people say 'I'm rather offended by that'.

By Anonym 13 Sep

Ted Alexandro

Comedians are thinkers. The best ones are akin to philosophers, in my opinion.

By Anonym 14 Sep

Dana Gould

I wanted to be a comedian. I wanted to meet waitresses and felt that being a comedian was my best way to go about it and I was right.

By Anonym 13 Sep

Flip Wilson

Being a comedian is like being a con man. You have to make 'em like you before you can fool 'em.

By Anonym 14 Sep

Ice Cube

Some comedians you work with, they only turn on when the camera turn on, and they're like sad-faced clowns when the camera's off. And then, they come alive when the camera come on. And you be like, "Oh, damn. You're not a depressed ball of depression, but you are actually funny.

By Anonym 13 Sep

Ed Wynn

A comic says funny things. A comedian says things funny.

By Anonym 15 Sep

Jim Gaffigan

There's something about being a parent that has, I think, made me a better comedian.

By Anonym 13 Sep

Lenny Bruce

Every group needs a comedian. A comic who is politically incorrect at the Berkeley campus might slay them at a Klan rally.

By Anonym 14 Sep

Louis C. K.

Life isn't something you possess. It's something you take part in, and you witness.

By Anonym 13 Sep

Will Smith

I first wanted to be a comedian when I was six or seven and my dad showed me Laurel and Hardy's "Perfect Day" on tv.

By Anonym 14 Sep

Robin Williams

My preference is live performance. Because you get the feedback. There's an energy. It's live theater. That's why I think actors like that. You know, musicians need it, comedians definitely need it. It doesn't matter what size and what club, whether it's 30 people in the club or 2,000 in a hall or a theater. It's live, it's symbiotic, you need it.

By Anonym 13 Sep

Ice Cube

I'm a good counter comedian. I can just work it off with looks, or have something crazy to say back. That works for me.

By Anonym 13 Sep

Kevin Hart

Having other comedians complimenting my work is the biggest accolade that I can get.

By Anonym 13 Sep

Steve Martin

I like what a third man brings. A kind of oblique vision, seeing something in the material that you didn't know was there. As a comedian, I'm always listening to the audience. And in movies, sometimes the only audience you have is the producer and the director. I like having someone else's opinion, especially if you're on the same wavelength.

By Anonym 14 Sep

Michael Che

No matter how you feel, you've got to be able to laugh at yourself. If you can laugh at Donald Trump, then you better be able to laugh at yourself, too. For us as comedians, we have to point out what's funny.

By Anonym 13 Sep

David Rees

I'm not a professional comedian. Nobody comes to my comedy shows. That's just a little hobby.

By Anonym 13 Sep

Harland Williams

Canada has been a breeding ground for great comedic actors, sketch artists and stand-up comedians. We grew up with a different perspective on the world.

By Anonym 15 Sep

Dana Gould

When you're 17 years old, you have no idea who you are as a person, so there's no way you can be a good performer. You can't be a good comedian, because you don't know who you are, you don't know what you're saying. Stand-up is nothing but an expression of self-awareness. It wasn't until I was 23, 24 that I got to have a handle on a perspective on life, where I became decent. And I was just a terribly socially awkward younger person.

By Anonym 13 Sep

Amy Poehler

I'd say any good set or any comedy that I've worked on, that's worked, has been comedians pitching ideas back and forth to each other. A lot of like, 'What if you say this? What about this?'

By Anonym 15 Sep

John Hodgman

This is something that the nimblest standup comedians learn, over time, to handle gracefully. They'll go between prepared material, then they'll respond to what's happening in the room and weave it back into the prepared material and so on.

By Anonym 13 Sep

Barry Crimmins

A lot of us [comedians] are drawn to the stage or show business or whatever because we didn't feel so great about ourselves, and we didn't know how to do anything about that, so we sought external approval.

By Anonym 15 Sep

Michael Bassey Johnson

As a comedian, the more you commit the sin of stupidity, three essential things happen to your life: ~people applaud you incessantly. ~love you more than their parents. ~give you a daily bread.

By Anonym 15 Sep

Will Ferrell

When I was ten, I wrote an essay on what I would be when I grew up and said I would be a professional soccer player and a comedian in off season.

By Anonym 13 Sep

Mark Thomas

I get called all kinds of things - an investigative comedian, a comedian activist - I've lost track of what my job title is.

By Anonym 14 Sep

Joan Rivers

I’ve had so much plastic surgery, when I die they will donate my body to Tupperware.

By Anonym 13 Sep

Andy Borowitz

All Americans mourn the passing of the author of the Declaration of Independence, George Jefferson.

By Anonym 14 Sep

Colin Quinn

I would say most comedians have a very cynical worldview of the way the world can work. It's almost like if you didn't, you couldn't be a comedian.

By Anonym 13 Sep

Chris Rock

Every comedian has a moment in his life when he realizes he's a little bit different from everyone else. It's like being the only guy in a movie who sees the ghost. The ghost talks to you and you talk to him. Then you turn to your friend and say, "Hey. Do you see that ghost? And he says, What ghost?

By Anonym 14 Sep

Steve Buscemi

My greatest hope was to get discovered as a comedian and get on a sitcom.

By Anonym 14 Sep

Jason Biggs

Michael Ian Black wears many hats. He's a stand-up comedian, a comedic actor, he's now a writer-director so he knew how to work with all of us. And furthermore, because so much of his career is based on improvisation he gave us the freedom to do that as well.

By Anonym 13 Sep

Colin Quinn

A weird sort of awareness set in, like, 'Wow. My stand-up isn't just separate from everything else I do anymore.' With Twitter and Face book, everything is universal that everything everybody says gets seen.

By Anonym 15 Sep

Dick Van Dyke

When I was a kid, I loved all the silent comedians - Buster Keaton, Laurel and Hardy, Chaplin. And I used to imitate them. I'd go to see a Buster Keaton movie and come home and try things out I'd seen. I learned to do pratfalls when I was very young.

By Anonym 13 Sep

Chris Rock

Eddie Murphy is to comedians what Nicki Minaj is to Spanx.

By Anonym 13 Sep

Elvis Costello

And I'm up while the dawn is breaking, even though my heart is aching. I should be drinking a toast to absent friends instead of these comedians.