Best 413 of Funeral quotes - MyQuotes

By Anonym 14 Sep

Isaac Butt

Put no inscription over the grave, except the date of my birth and my death; and, wherever I am buried, let the funeral be perfectly private, with as few persons attending, and as little show and expense as possible.

By Anonym 14 Sep

Ovid

Man's last day must ever be awaited and none to be counted happy until his death, until his last funeral rites are paid.

By Anonym 14 Sep

Quintus Ennius

Let no one pay me honor with tears, nor celebrate my funeral rites with weeping.

By Anonym 13 Sep

Jesse Eisenberg

I grew up in a secular suburban Jewish household where we only observed the religion on very specific times like a funeral or a Bar Mitzvah.

By Anonym 16 Sep

Mary Lee Hall

If I should die, and leave you here awhile Be not like others sore undone, who keep Long vigils by the silent dust and weep. For my sake, turn again to life, and smile, Nerving thy heart and trembling hand to do Something to comfort weaker hearts than thine. Complete these dear unfinished tasks of mine, And I, perchance, may therein comfort you!

By Anonym 14 Sep

Harold Brodkey

It is like visiting one's funeral, like visiting loss in its purest and most monumental form, this wild darkness, which is not only unknown but which one cannot enter as oneself.

By Anonym 13 Sep

Richelle Mead

Adrian opened his mouth, undoubtedly ready with some inappropriate and mocking comment. Lissa gave him a sharp headshake that kept him quiet. "Aren't there any, I don't know, sleeveless options?" The saleswoman's eyes widened. "No one has ever worn straps to a funeral. It wouldn't be right." "What about shorts?" asked Adrian. "Are they okay if they're with a tie? Because that's what I was gonna go with." The woman looked horrified.

By Anonym 13 Sep

Nassim Nicholas Taleb

In the United States large corporations control some members of Congress. All this does is delay the corporation’s funeral at our expense.

By Anonym 13 Sep

Dwight L. Moody

Christ never preached any funeral sermons.

By Anonym 14 Sep

Archibald Primrose

Lord Randolph Churchill was the chief mourner at his own protracted funeral.

By Anonym 13 Sep

Thomas Lynch

A good funeral gets the dead where they need to go and the living where they need to be.

By Anonym 16 Sep

Lucia Berlin

Hay cosas de las que la gente nunca habla. No me refiero a las cosas difíciles, como el amor, sino a las más bochornosas, como por ejemplo que los funerales a veces son divertidos o que es emocionante ver arder un edificio. El funeral de Michael fue maravilloso.

By Anonym 15 Sep

Saoirse Ronan

What we do every St. Patty's day, which is wear green and drink a lot of Guinness. And maybe cry a little bit and laugh, and everyone will have to sing a song. That's how every funeral, christening, and wedding ends up in Ireland. Everyone ends up having to sing a song by the end of it.

By Anonym 14 Sep

Josh Groban

My biggest blast-off hit was "You Raise Me Up." If you ever have a wedding or a funeral, it's a good pick.

By Anonym 13 Sep

Rob Bell

As a pastor, you get invited into the most poignant moments of people's lives. Whether it's a wedding or a funeral or a hospital visit, you get invited into the center of the event, whether or not you know the people.

By Anonym 16 Sep

Joan Didion

Grief turns out to be a place none of us know until we reach it...We might expect that we will be prostrate, inconsolable, crazy with loss. We do not expect to be literally crazy, cool customers who believe that their husband is about to return and need his shoes. In the version of grief we imagine, the model will be 'healing.' A Certain forward movement will prevail. The worst days will be the earliest days. We imagine that the moment to most severely test us will be the funeral, after which this hypothetical healing will take place. When we anticipate the funeral we wonder about failing to 'get through it,' rise to the occasion, exhibit the 'strength' that invariably gets mentioned as the correct response to death. We anticipate needing to steel ourselves for the moment: will I be able to greet people, will I be able to leave the scene, will I be able even to get dressed that day? We have no way of knowing that this will not be the issue. We have no way of knowing that the funeral itself will be anodyne, a kind of narcotic regression in which we are wrapped in the care of others and the gravity and meaning of the occasion. Nor can we know ahead of the fact the unending absence that follows, the void, the very opposite of meaning, the relentless succession of moments during which we will confront the experience of meaninglessness itself.

By Anonym 13 Sep

Ambrose Bierce

Funeral: a pageant whereby we attest our respect for the dead by enriching the undertaker, and strengthen our grief by an expenditure that deepens our groans and doubles our tears.

By Anonym 15 Sep

Haruki Murakami

There are ways of dying that don't end in funerals. Types of death you can't smell.

By Anonym 14 Sep

Billy Boyd

People are scared to make something that doesn't look like another film that made a lot of money. It means we get 'Four Weddings And A Funeral' made again and again.

By Anonym 13 Sep

Anil Dash

Every morning I walk by a funeral home, and that's my productivity hack for how to make sure your to-do list is properly prioritized.

By Anonym 15 Sep

Bernard Berenson

We usually meet all of our relatives only at funerals where somebody always observes: "Too bad we can't get together more often".

By Anonym 13 Sep

Edward Bulwer-lytton

Emotion, whether of ridicule, anger, or sorrow,--whether raised at a puppet show, a funeral, or a battle,--is your grandest of levellers. The man who would be always superior should be always apathetic.

By Anonym 15 Sep

J. Lincoln Fenn

And a funeral, I found out, is like a wedding in reverse, with less time to plan.

By Anonym 14 Sep

Neal Brennan

People get way too much credit at funerals.

By Anonym 14 Sep

Eva Cassidy

Someday I'll wish upon a star And wake up where the clouds Are far behind me Where troubles melt like lemon drops Away above the chimney tops that's where you'll find me

By Anonym 13 Sep

Ambrose Bierce

ADDER, n. A species of snake. So called from its habit of adding funeral outlays to the other expenses of living.

By Anonym 18 Sep

Nitya Prakash

Some people murder your dreams and then attend the funeral too.

By Anonym 15 Sep

Gene Wilder

There wasn't a funeral per se. I buried [Gilda Radner] 3 miles from her house that she had bought just shortly before we met. It was an old house, old colonial house, 1734. And there were just a few friends at the funeral, a nonsectarian cemetery. And an old friend of hers from junior high school or high school was the rabbi in town, and he performed the service.

By Anonym 13 Sep

Edward Eggleston

Funerals and weddings were commonplace, and nothing could have been so interesting to them as the coming of the end of the world ... unless it had been a first-class circus.

By Anonym 13 Sep

Jay Asher

I could picture life—school and everything else—continuing on without me. But I could not picture my funeral. Not at all. Mostly because I couldn’t imagine who would attend or what they would say.

By Anonym 13 Sep

Mark Twain

If you are with the quality, or at a funeral, or trying to go to sleep when you ain't sleepy - if you are anywheres where it won't do for you to scratch, why you will itch all over in upwards of a thousand places.

By Anonym 14 Sep

Mary Downing Hahn

I was terrified of funerals.

By Anonym 14 Sep

Enoch Powell

It is like watching a nation busily engaged in heaping up its own funeral pyre. So insane are we that we actually permit unmarried persons to immigrate for the purpose of founding a family with spouses and fiancées whom they have never seen.

By Anonym 18 Sep

John Williams

Stoner was one of the pallbearers at the funeral. At the services he could not keep his mind on the words the minister said, but he knew that they were empty. He remembered Sloane as he had first seen him in the classroom; he remembered their first talks together; and he thought of the slow decline of this man who had been his distant friend. Later, after the services were over, when he lifted his handle of the gray casket and helped to carry it out to the hearse, what he carried seemed so light that he could not believe there was anything inside the narrow box.

By Anonym 14 Sep

Robert Green Ingersoll

Orthodox Christians have the habit of claiming all great men, all men who have held important positions, men of reputation, men of wealth. As soon as the funeral is over clergymen begin to relate imaginary conversations with the deceased, and in a very little while the great man is changed to a Christian - possibly to a saint.

By Anonym 14 Sep

Gayle Forman

It's a good thing Kerry's dead, because that funeral would've sent him over the edge," Henry said.

By Anonym 17 Sep

Israelmore Ayivor

Live life so well that, even if you die, the empty seats behind you will tell the story that, "yea, this soul did what God sent him/her to do". Give life and hope into your family, village, community, country, continent and the world at large. You can do it!

By Anonym 13 Sep

Alexi Giannoulias

I remember when my father passed away, we drove the funeral procession past the bank so he could say one last goodbye. That's how much the bank meant to my father.

By Anonym 13 Sep

Judith Mcnaught

At my age, I regard each funeral I attend as a personal triumph, because I was not the guest of honor.

By Anonym 13 Sep

Declan Lynch

Inarticulate wretches have been behind most of the major advances in civilization. If Vincent Van Gogh had been able to get on with his neighbours, then he might have become an excellent painter-decorator, and received a big turn out at his funeral, and that would be that. But the genes wouldn't let him.

By Anonym 20 Sep

Carl Abrahamsson

You are despicable and such cowards that you won't even share your dead bodies with the Earth, but put them inside wooden and metal coffins to "protect" them. From what?

By Anonym 15 Sep

Israelmore Ayivor

Delay is not a help-mate. The cemetary is full of people who thought they could DO IT tomorrow. Do It Now!

By Anonym 17 Sep

Mokokoma Mokhonoana

Most human beings would have never been pained by the death of a human being if they had never seen a human being or pretending to be pained by that.

By Anonym 16 Sep

John Cleese

Graham Chapman, co-author of the "Parrot Sketch", is no more. He has ceased to be. Bereft of life, he rests in peace. He's kicked the bucket, hopped the twig, bit the dust, snuffed it, breathed his last, and gone to meet the great Head of Light Entertainment in the sky. And I guess that we're all thinking how sad it is that a man of such talent, of such capability for kindness, of such unusual intelligence, should now so suddenly be spirited away at the age of only forty-eight, before he'd achieved many of the things of which he was capable, and before he'd had enough fun. Well, I feel that I should say: nonsense. Good riddance to him, the freeloading bastard, I hope he fries. And the reason I feel I should say this is he would never forgive me if I didn't, if I threw away this glorious opportunity to shock you all on his behalf. Anything for him but mindless good taste. (He paused, then claimed that Chapman had whipered in his ear while he was writing the speech): All right, Cleese. You say you're very proud of being the very first person ever to say 'shit' on British television. If this service is really for me, just for starters, I want you to become the first person ever at a British memorial service to say 'fuck'.

By Anonym 13 Sep

Jenny Downham

I don't want to go into a fridge at an undertaker's. I want you to keep me at home until the funeral. Please can someone sit with me in case I get lonely? I promise not to scare you.

By Anonym 16 Sep

Gavin Extence

Funerals aren't for the dead. They're for the living.

By Anonym 15 Sep

Charles Bukowski

You are thirty minutes late." "Yes." "Would you be thirty minutes late to a wedding or a funeral?" "No." "Why not, pray tell?" "Well, if the funeral was mine I'd have to be on time. If the wedding was mine it would be my funeral.

By Anonym 19 Sep

Lucy Maud Montgomery

We resent the thought that anything can please us when someone we love is no longer here to share the pleasure with us, and we almost feel as if we were unfaithful to our sorrow when we find out interest in life returning to us.

By Anonym 14 Sep

Jessica Mitford

Now there is a society where the funeral industry got completely out of control.

By Anonym 13 Sep

Dave Grohl

I'm not allergic to fashion. I'm just one of those people who when they put on a suit look like they're going to a funeral or to court.