Best 33 of Victoria Wood quotes - MyQuotes

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Victoria Wood
By Anonym 14 Sep

Victoria Wood

Jogging is for people who aren't intelligent enough to watch television.

By Anonym 13 Sep

Victoria Wood

I can remember when pants were pants. You wore them for twenty years, then you cut them down for pan scrubs. Or quilts.

By Anonym 13 Sep

Victoria Wood

I like writing a lot more than I used to. I used to find it scary but now I've got used to it once it gets going. I used to find it hard to start. Fear of the blank page. The first thing you write down won't bear any relation to what's in your head and that's always disappointing.

By Anonym 13 Sep

Victoria Wood

Everyone I meet is gay, married or crackers

By Anonym 13 Sep

Victoria Wood

I have been in a youth hostel...You are put in a kitchen with seventeen venture scouts with behavioural difficulties and made to wash swedes.

By Anonym 13 Sep

Victoria Wood

A man is designed to walk three miles in the rain to phone for help when the car breaks down - and a woman is designed to say, 'you took your time' when he comes back dripping wet.

By Anonym 14 Sep

Victoria Wood

My massage was marvellous. I feel really relaxed. And my masseur, Harold :You can't have a masseur called Harold. It's like having a member of the Royal Family called Ena.

By Anonym 13 Sep

Victoria Wood

I know I've got a degree. Why does that mean I have to spend my life with intellectuals? I've got a lifesaving certificate but I don't spend my evenings diving for a rubber brick with my pyjamas on.

By Anonym 15 Sep

Victoria Wood

You know daytime television? You know what it's supposed to be for? It's to keep unemployed people happy. It's supposed to stop them running to the social security demanding mad luxuries like cookers and windows.

By Anonym 13 Sep

Victoria Wood

In Russia, show the least athletic aptitude and they've got you dangling off the parallel bars with a leotard full of hormones.

By Anonym 14 Sep

Victoria Wood

Music is an element that should be part and parcel of every child's life via the education system.

By Anonym 14 Sep

Victoria Wood

Sexual harassment at work... is it a problem for the self-employed?

By Anonym 13 Sep

Victoria Wood

In my 20s I was going round seeing agents who were patronising because I was fat and a girl, which was a double whammy. I knew what it was to feel out-of-the-loop.

By Anonym 13 Sep

Victoria Wood

If you behave normally, people treat you normally. It's only when you act as if you're someone special that they feel obliged to stand on ceremony.

By Anonym 14 Sep

Victoria Wood

I wouldn't kidnap a man for sex - I'm not saying I couldn't use someone to oil the mower.

By Anonym 14 Sep

Victoria Wood

On a train, why do I always end up sitting next to the woman who's eating the individual fruit pie by sucking the filling out through the hole in the middle?

By Anonym 14 Sep

Victoria Wood

My mother, she didn't believe in praise. She'd never say anything was great. I think that's quite Northern, to not make people feel too good. I didn't mind if she was proud of me or not, it didn't bother me. I was never trying to please her.

By Anonym 13 Sep

Victoria Wood

A lot of panel programmes rely on men topping each other, or sparring with each other, which is not generally a very female thing.

By Anonym 13 Sep

Victoria Wood

In my day we didn't have sex education, we just picked up what we could off the television.

By Anonym 14 Sep

Victoria Wood

Of course I don't want to go to a cocktail party...If I wanted to stand around with a load of people I don't know eating bits of cold toast I can get caught shoplifting and go to Holloway [women's prison].

By Anonym 15 Sep

Victoria Wood

Well, I think there's not much of a chance for me finding somebody of my age. Gentlemen of my age are dropping down 30 years to find girlfriends.

By Anonym 13 Sep

Victoria Wood

I sometimes think that being widowed is God's way of telling you to come off the Pill.

By Anonym 14 Sep

Victoria Wood

People always think I hate doing interviews. I don't. I wouldn't do them if I didn't like them.

By Anonym 13 Sep

Victoria Wood

In London it's easy not to be the focus of attention, especially when Sting lives in the house just behind you.

By Anonym 13 Sep

Victoria Wood

All my friends started getting boyfriends, but I didn't want a boyfriend, I wanted a thirteen-colour biro.

By Anonym 14 Sep

Victoria Wood

Last time I went Intercity there were a couple across the aisle having sex. Of course, this being a British train, nobody said anything. Then they finished, they both lit up a cigarette and this woman stood up and said, Excuse me, I think you'll find this is a non-smoking compartment.

By Anonym 14 Sep

Victoria Wood

I've never understood the point of ecstasy. I think if I wanted to get dehydrated and jump about with a load of people I've never met before I could go to a Methodist barn dance.

By Anonym 13 Sep

Victoria Wood

I once went to one of those parties where everyone throws their car keys into the middle of the room. I don't know who got my moped, but I drove that Peugeot for years.

By Anonym 13 Sep

Victoria Wood

I have stayed true to that first idea that people can have a day in their lives that is very important and if they can reconnect with that day, reconnect with the people they were then, they can suddenly revive their emotions.

By Anonym 13 Sep

Victoria Wood

If God had meant men to have children, he would have given them a PVC apron.

By Anonym 13 Sep

Victoria Wood

Acting is not my favourite thing. I don't like wearing costumes and wigs.

By Anonym 14 Sep

Victoria Wood

Radio killed variety and TV killed radio, and the internet will kill television and it will go on and on.