Best 276 of Funny inspirational quotes - MyQuotes
When I was born I was so surprised I didn't talk for a year and a half.
I've been vegan for about 10 and a half years. It's been all good. I'm obviously much healthier
Concerning the difference between man and the jackass: some observers hold that there isn't any. But this wrongs the jackass.
Learn from the mistakes of others. You can't make them all yourself.
All things come to those who wait.
Franklin P. Adams
You can learn many things from children. How much patience you have, for instance.
I realize nobody's coming to save me. I must save myself. I must be my own super hero. Although I am open to a sidekick.
Natural forces within us are the true healers of disease.
So, if you feel a smile begin, don't leave it undetected, let's start an epidemic quick, and get the world infected!
I base most of my fashion taste on what doesn't itch.
I sometimes wonder if the manufacturers of foolproof items keep a fool or two on their payroll to test things.
The poor wish to be rich, the rich wish to be happy, the single wish to be married, and the married wish to be dead.
You should bring something into the world that wasn't in the world before. It doesn't matter what that is. It doesn't matter if it's a table or a film or gardening-everyone should create. You should do something, then sit back and say 'I did that.'
It's not so important who starts the game but who finishes it.
I was trying to daydream, but my mind kept wandering.
Most software today is very much like an Egyptian pyramid with millions of bricks piled on top of each other, with no structural integrity, but just done by brute force and thousands of slaves.
Let your food be your medicine, and your medicine be your food.
George Bernard Shaw
The average age (longevity) of a meat eater is 63. I am on the verge of 85 and still work as hard as ever. I have lived quite long enough and am trying to die; but I simply cannot do it. A single beef-steak would finish me; but I cannot bring myself to swallow it. I am oppressed with a dread of living forever. That is the only disadvantage of vegetarianism.
It must be around forty, when you're "over the hill." I don't even know what that means and why it's a bad thing. When I go hiking and I get over the hill, that means I'm past the hard part and there's a snack in my future. That's a good thing as far as I'm concerned.
Any fool can criticize, condemn and complain - and most fools do.
To do nothing is sometimes a good remedy.
Readers are plentiful; thinkers are rare.
It is the ability to take a joke, not make one, that proves you have a sense of humor.
Baron De Montesquieu
To become truly great, one has to stand with people, not above them.
The history of the world is the history of a few men who had faith in themselves
Linux is only free if your time has no value.
When someone says, "I want a programming language in which I need only say what I want done," give him a lollipop.
How can I have morning sickness when I don't get up till noon?
All good things come to those who wait.
John Desmond Bernal
The full area of ignorance is not mapped. We are at present only exploring the fringes.
They are sick that surfeit with too much, as they that starve with nothing.
Truth is what stands the test of experience.
If you don't have wrinkles, you haven't laughed enough.
I try to stick to a vegan diet heavy on fruit and vegetables.
I'm not overweight. I'm just nine inches too short.
Nobody's a natural. You work hard to get good and then work to get better. It's hard to stay on top.
Teenage girls, please don’t worry about being super popular in high school, or being the best actress in high school, or the best athlete. Not only do people not care about any of that the second you graduate, but when you get older, if you reference your successes in high school too much, it actually makes you look kind of pitiful, like some babbling old Tennessee Williams character with nothing else going on in her current life. What I’ve noticed is that almost no one who was a big star in high school is also big star later in life. For us overlooked kids, it’s so wonderfully fair.
[Hope is] the dream of a waking man.
I will not retire while I've still got my legs and my make-up box.
Here cometh April again, and as far as I can see the world hath more fools in it than ever.
The more pity, that fools may not speak wisely what wise men do foolishly.
Everyone has a doctor in him or her; we just have to help it in its work. The natural healing force within each one of us is the greatest force in getting well. Our food should be our medicine. Our medicine should be our food. But to eat when you are sick, is to feed your sickness.
Keep the other person's well being in mind when you feel an attack of soul-purging truth coming on.
Johann Wolfgang Von Goethe
To think is easy. To act is hard. But the hardest thing in the world is to act in accordance with your thinking.
Never follow anyone else's path, unless you're in the woods and you're lost.
If we threw our problems in a pile and saw everyone else's, we'd grab ours back.
Should array indices start at 0 or 1? My compromise of 0.5 was rejected without, I thought, proper consideration.
Life is tough enough without having someone kick you from the inside.
I've always dreamed of growing up to be Amy Poehler.
Only one man in a thousand is a leader of men -- the other 999 follow women.