Best 276 of Funny inspirational quotes - MyQuotes

By Anonym 13 Sep

Karen Marie Moning

Even I don't know what you're doing, and I know everything.

By Anonym 14 Sep

Oliver Wendell Holmes Sr.

Nothing is so common-place as to wish to be remarkable.

By Anonym 13 Sep

Rita Rudner

How can I have morning sickness when I don't get up till noon?

By Anonym 14 Sep

Shania Twain

I think there's something odd about eating another living anything.

By Anonym 13 Sep

Clifton Fadiman

A sense of humor is the ability to understand a joke-and that the joke is oneself.

By Anonym 15 Sep

Johann Wolfgang Von Goethe

To think is easy. To act is hard. But the hardest thing in the world is to act in accordance with your thinking.

By Anonym 14 Sep

Paul Coffey

Nobody's a natural. You work hard to get good and then work to get better. It's hard to stay on top.

By Anonym 13 Sep

Hippocrates

Everyone has a doctor in him or her; we just have to help it in its work. The natural healing force within each one of us is the greatest force in getting well. Our food should be our medicine. Our medicine should be our food. But to eat when you are sick, is to feed your sickness.

By Anonym 13 Sep

Gilda Radner

I base most of my fashion taste on what doesn't itch.

By Anonym 13 Sep

Christian Nestell Bovee

A mother is the best friend God ever gave.

By Anonym 13 Sep

Yogi Berra

In theory there is no difference between theory and practice. In practice there is.

By Anonym 14 Sep

Harriet Martineau

Readers are plentiful; thinkers are rare.

By Anonym 15 Sep

Marion Nestle

The standard four food groups are based on American agricultural lobbies. Why do we have a milk group? Because we have a National Dairy Council. Why do we have a meat group? Because we have an extremely powerful meat lobby.

By Anonym 13 Sep

Adolphe Menjou

He has a heart of gold - only harder.

By Anonym 13 Sep

Jonathan Raban

I ain't sleeping. I'm just taking a good look at the insides of my eyelids.

By Anonym 15 Sep

Katie Macalister

You should just dump the whole saving the world plan and go with global domination. It's probably be more fun.

By Anonym 14 Sep

Steven Wright

I was trying to daydream, but my mind kept wandering.

By Anonym 16 Sep

Karen Salmansohn

I realize nobody's coming to save me. I must save myself. I must be my own super hero. Although I am open to a sidekick.

By Anonym 15 Sep

Jill Shalvis

When you don't know what you're doing, fake it.

By Anonym 15 Sep

William Shakespeare

They are sick that surfeit with too much, as they that starve with nothing.

By Anonym 15 Sep

Amy Klobuchar

Women tend to be problem solvers. We work together.

By Anonym 14 Sep

Alan Kay

Most software today is very much like an Egyptian pyramid with millions of bricks piled on top of each other, with no structural integrity, but just done by brute force and thousands of slaves.

By Anonym 15 Sep

Hippocrates

To do nothing is sometimes a good remedy.

By Anonym 15 Sep

Socrates

The rest of the world lives to eat, while I eat to live.

By Anonym 13 Sep

Phyllis Diller

Always be nice to your children because they are the ones who will choose your rest home.

By Anonym 13 Sep

Mark Twain

Concerning the difference between man and the jackass: some observers hold that there isn't any. But this wrongs the jackass.

By Anonym 13 Sep

Alan Coren

I sometimes wonder if the manufacturers of foolproof items keep a fool or two on their payroll to test things.

By Anonym 13 Sep

Harold Geneen

In the business world, everyone is paid in two coins: cash and experience. Take the experience first; the cash will come later.

By Anonym 13 Sep

Arthur Conan Doyle

I consider that a man's brain originally is like a little empty attic, and you have to stock it with such furniture as you choose.

By Anonym 13 Sep

Donald Knuth

Computers are good at following instructions, but not at reading your mind.

By Anonym 14 Sep

Ellen Degeneres

Never follow anyone else's path, unless you're in the woods and you're lost.

By Anonym 14 Sep

Russell Conwell

So, if you feel a smile begin, don't leave it undetected, let's start an epidemic quick, and get the world infected!

By Anonym 14 Sep

Groucho Marx

Only one man in a thousand is a leader of men -- the other 999 follow women.

By Anonym 14 Sep

Hippocrates

Natural forces within us are the true healers of disease.

By Anonym 15 Sep

Albert Einstein

Truth is what stands the test of experience.

By Anonym 13 Sep

Mark Twain

I am opposed to millionaires, but it would be dangerous to offer me the position.

By Anonym 14 Sep

Usher

Learn from the mistakes of others. You can't make them all yourself.

By Anonym 15 Sep

Paul Stanley

You're at your best when you don't know what you're doing.

By Anonym 14 Sep

Bob Hope

Middle age is when your age starts to show around your middle.

By Anonym 13 Sep

Paullina Simons

All good things come to those who wait.

By Anonym 13 Sep

Phil Rizzuto

I'm glad I don't play anymore. I could never learn all those handshakes.

By Anonym 15 Sep

Tina Fey

You can’t be that kid standing at the top of the waterslide, overthinking it. You have to go down the chute.

By Anonym 13 Sep

Shelley Winters

I'm not overweight. I'm just nine inches too short.

By Anonym 14 Sep

Swami Vivekananda

The history of the world is the history of a few men who had faith in themselves

By Anonym 15 Sep

William Shakespeare

The more pity, that fools may not speak wisely what wise men do foolishly.

By Anonym 13 Sep

Rupaul Andre Charles

Don't take life too seriously.

By Anonym 14 Sep

Jamie Zawinski

Linux is only free if your time has no value.

By Anonym 14 Sep

Betty White

Keep the other person's well being in mind when you feel an attack of soul-purging truth coming on.

By Anonym 13 Sep

Carol Burnett

I don't have false teeth. Do you think I'd buy teeth like these?

By Anonym 13 Sep

Kareena Kapoor

Humor is most powerful thing that uses laughter as it base to chase your blues away.