Best 276 of Funny inspirational quotes - MyQuotes

By Anonym 15 Sep

Gracie Allen

When I was born I was so surprised I didn't talk for a year and a half.

By Anonym 14 Sep

Woody Harrelson

I've been vegan for about 10 and a half years. It's been all good. I'm obviously much healthier

By Anonym 13 Sep

Mark Twain

Concerning the difference between man and the jackass: some observers hold that there isn't any. But this wrongs the jackass.

By Anonym 14 Sep

Usher

Learn from the mistakes of others. You can't make them all yourself.

By Anonym 13 Sep

Violet Fane

All things come to those who wait.

By Anonym 15 Sep

Franklin P. Adams

You can learn many things from children. How much patience you have, for instance.

By Anonym 16 Sep

Karen Salmansohn

I realize nobody's coming to save me. I must save myself. I must be my own super hero. Although I am open to a sidekick.

By Anonym 14 Sep

Hippocrates

Natural forces within us are the true healers of disease.

By Anonym 14 Sep

Russell Conwell

So, if you feel a smile begin, don't leave it undetected, let's start an epidemic quick, and get the world infected!

By Anonym 13 Sep

Gilda Radner

I base most of my fashion taste on what doesn't itch.

By Anonym 13 Sep

Alan Coren

I sometimes wonder if the manufacturers of foolproof items keep a fool or two on their payroll to test things.

By Anonym 15 Sep

Ann Landers

The poor wish to be rich, the rich wish to be happy, the single wish to be married, and the married wish to be dead.

By Anonym 15 Sep

Ricky Gervais

You should bring something into the world that wasn't in the world before. It doesn't matter what that is. It doesn't matter if it's a table or a film or gardening-everyone should create. You should do something, then sit back and say 'I did that.'

By Anonym 14 Sep

John Wooden

It's not so important who starts the game but who finishes it.

By Anonym 14 Sep

Steven Wright

I was trying to daydream, but my mind kept wandering.

By Anonym 14 Sep

Alan Kay

Most software today is very much like an Egyptian pyramid with millions of bricks piled on top of each other, with no structural integrity, but just done by brute force and thousands of slaves.

By Anonym 14 Sep

Hippocrates

Let your food be your medicine, and your medicine be your food.

By Anonym 14 Sep

George Bernard Shaw

The average age (longevity) of a meat eater is 63. I am on the verge of 85 and still work as hard as ever. I have lived quite long enough and am trying to die; but I simply cannot do it. A single beef-steak would finish me; but I cannot bring myself to swallow it. I am oppressed with a dread of living forever. That is the only disadvantage of vegetarianism.

By Anonym 14 Sep

Ellen Degeneres

It must be around forty, when you're "over the hill." I don't even know what that means and why it's a bad thing. When I go hiking and I get over the hill, that means I'm past the hard part and there's a snack in my future. That's a good thing as far as I'm concerned.

By Anonym 13 Sep

Benjamin Franklin

Any fool can criticize, condemn and complain - and most fools do.

By Anonym 15 Sep

Hippocrates

To do nothing is sometimes a good remedy.

By Anonym 14 Sep

Harriet Martineau

Readers are plentiful; thinkers are rare.

By Anonym 14 Sep

Max Eastman

It is the ability to take a joke, not make one, that proves you have a sense of humor.

By Anonym 15 Sep

Baron De Montesquieu

To become truly great, one has to stand with people, not above them.

By Anonym 14 Sep

Swami Vivekananda

The history of the world is the history of a few men who had faith in themselves

By Anonym 14 Sep

Jamie Zawinski

Linux is only free if your time has no value.

By Anonym 15 Sep

Alan Perlis

When someone says, "I want a programming language in which I need only say what I want done," give him a lollipop.

By Anonym 13 Sep

Rita Rudner

How can I have morning sickness when I don't get up till noon?

By Anonym 13 Sep

Paullina Simons

All good things come to those who wait.

By Anonym 14 Sep

John Desmond Bernal

The full area of ignorance is not mapped. We are at present only exploring the fringes.

By Anonym 15 Sep

William Shakespeare

They are sick that surfeit with too much, as they that starve with nothing.

By Anonym 15 Sep

Albert Einstein

Truth is what stands the test of experience.

By Anonym 13 Sep

Phyllis Diller

If you don't have wrinkles, you haven't laughed enough.

By Anonym 14 Sep

Clint Eastwood

I try to stick to a vegan diet heavy on fruit and vegetables.

By Anonym 13 Sep

Shelley Winters

I'm not overweight. I'm just nine inches too short.

By Anonym 14 Sep

Paul Coffey

Nobody's a natural. You work hard to get good and then work to get better. It's hard to stay on top.

By Anonym 14 Sep

Mindy Kaling

Teenage girls, please don’t worry about being super popular in high school, or being the best actress in high school, or the best athlete. Not only do people not care about any of that the second you graduate, but when you get older, if you reference your successes in high school too much, it actually makes you look kind of pitiful, like some babbling old Tennessee Williams character with nothing else going on in her current life. What I’ve noticed is that almost no one who was a big star in high school is also big star later in life. For us overlooked kids, it’s so wonderfully fair.

By Anonym 13 Sep

Aristotle

[Hope is] the dream of a waking man.

By Anonym 14 Sep

Bette Davis

I will not retire while I've still got my legs and my make-up box.

By Anonym 13 Sep

Charles Lamb

Here cometh April again, and as far as I can see the world hath more fools in it than ever.

By Anonym 15 Sep

William Shakespeare

The more pity, that fools may not speak wisely what wise men do foolishly.

By Anonym 13 Sep

Hippocrates

Everyone has a doctor in him or her; we just have to help it in its work. The natural healing force within each one of us is the greatest force in getting well. Our food should be our medicine. Our medicine should be our food. But to eat when you are sick, is to feed your sickness.

By Anonym 14 Sep

Betty White

Keep the other person's well being in mind when you feel an attack of soul-purging truth coming on.

By Anonym 15 Sep

Johann Wolfgang Von Goethe

To think is easy. To act is hard. But the hardest thing in the world is to act in accordance with your thinking.

By Anonym 14 Sep

Ellen Degeneres

Never follow anyone else's path, unless you're in the woods and you're lost.

By Anonym 13 Sep

Regina Brett

If we threw our problems in a pile and saw everyone else's, we'd grab ours back.

By Anonym 14 Sep

Stan Kelly-bootle

Should array indices start at 0 or 1? My compromise of 0.5 was rejected without, I thought, proper consideration.

By Anonym 14 Sep

Rita Rudner

Life is tough enough without having someone kick you from the inside.

By Anonym 14 Sep

Amy Poehler

I've always dreamed of growing up to be Amy Poehler.

By Anonym 14 Sep

Groucho Marx

Only one man in a thousand is a leader of men -- the other 999 follow women.