Best 276 of Funny inspirational quotes - MyQuotes
There is really a je ne sais quoi about turkey cooking - the air of festivity, the family squabbles, the constant basting - that does not apply to the turkey breast, which is, really, a convenience of food... A turkey without seasonal angst is like a baseball game without a national anthem, a winter without snow, a birthday party without candles.
I'm a big health-food freak and a vegetarian devotee.
Karen Marie Moning
Even I don't know what you're doing, and I know everything.
It's not so important who starts the game but who finishes it.
When someone says, "I want a programming language in which I need only say what I want done," give him a lollipop.
Most software today is very much like an Egyptian pyramid with millions of bricks piled on top of each other, with no structural integrity, but just done by brute force and thousands of slaves.
I am opposed to millionaires, but it would be dangerous to offer me the position.
Humor is most powerful thing that uses laughter as it base to chase your blues away.
While I was drying off Maddie after her bath tonight, she said, 'I love you' to me for the first time. It sounded like 'All lub boo,' but I didn't care. To reciprocate, I showed her what an ex-Marine looks like when he cries.
Should array indices start at 0 or 1? My compromise of 0.5 was rejected without, I thought, proper consideration.
If you don't have wrinkles, you haven't laughed enough.
Keep the other person's well being in mind when you feel an attack of soul-purging truth coming on.
I realize nobody's coming to save me. I must save myself. I must be my own super hero. Although I am open to a sidekick.
Baron De Montesquieu
To become truly great, one has to stand with people, not above them.
Pressure is something you feel when you do not know what you are doing.
George Bernard Shaw
The average age (longevity) of a meat eater is 63. I am on the verge of 85 and still work as hard as ever. I have lived quite long enough and am trying to die; but I simply cannot do it. A single beef-steak would finish me; but I cannot bring myself to swallow it. I am oppressed with a dread of living forever. That is the only disadvantage of vegetarianism.
It is the ability to take a joke, not make one, that proves you have a sense of humor.
Everyone has a doctor in him or her; we just have to help it in its work. The natural healing force within each one of us is the greatest force in getting well. Our food should be our medicine. Our medicine should be our food. But to eat when you are sick, is to feed your sickness.
Here cometh April again, and as far as I can see the world hath more fools in it than ever.
The poor wish to be rich, the rich wish to be happy, the single wish to be married, and the married wish to be dead.
How can I have morning sickness when I don't get up till noon?
All people know the same truth. Our lives consist of how we choose to distort it.
Computers are good at following instructions, but not at reading your mind.
Teenage girls, please don’t worry about being super popular in high school, or being the best actress in high school, or the best athlete. Not only do people not care about any of that the second you graduate, but when you get older, if you reference your successes in high school too much, it actually makes you look kind of pitiful, like some babbling old Tennessee Williams character with nothing else going on in her current life. What I’ve noticed is that almost no one who was a big star in high school is also big star later in life. For us overlooked kids, it’s so wonderfully fair.
I guess good things come to those who wait.
Franklin P. Adams
You can learn many things from children. How much patience you have, for instance.
You can’t be that kid standing at the top of the waterslide, overthinking it. You have to go down the chute.
I expect Woman will be the last thing civilized by Man.
The standard four food groups are based on American agricultural lobbies. Why do we have a milk group? Because we have a National Dairy Council. Why do we have a meat group? Because we have an extremely powerful meat lobby.
When I look back on all these worries, I remember the story of the old man who said on his deathbed that he had had a lot of trouble in his life, most of which had never happened
If you are afraid of being lonely, don't try to be right.
You should bring something into the world that wasn't in the world before. It doesn't matter what that is. It doesn't matter if it's a table or a film or gardening-everyone should create. You should do something, then sit back and say 'I did that.'
Linux is only free if your time has no value.
When you are courting a nice girl an hour seems like a second.
Dick Van Dyke
Women will never be as successful as men because they have no wives to advise them.
The history of the world is the history of a few men who had faith in themselves
It's not whether you win or lose - but whether I win or lose.
So, if you feel a smile begin, don't leave it undetected, let's start an epidemic quick, and get the world infected!
To do nothing is sometimes a good remedy.
J. Paul Getty
If you owe the bank $100 that's your problem. If you owe the bank $100 million, that's the bank's problem.
It was not so very long ago that people thought that semiconductors were part-time orchestra leaders and microchips were very small snack foods.
Let your food be your medicine, and your medicine be your food.
John Desmond Bernal
The full area of ignorance is not mapped. We are at present only exploring the fringes.
I sometimes think, would I drink the milk from the breast of a woman I don't know? No. So I think, why would I drink it from a cow?
You should just dump the whole saving the world plan and go with global domination. It's probably be more fun.
James Bryant Conant
Behold the turtle. He makes progress only when he sticks his neck out.
There are, always and only, the bad people, but some of them are on opposite sides.
Among the most striking things that I have learned is how much we have in common. I've sat down with people everywhere, discussing what was in their hearts and on their minds. And it doesn't take long to find commonality, which is often overlooked, ignored, dismissed, and rejected otherwise.
The more pity, that fools may not speak wisely what wise men do foolishly.
The great thing about taking big chances when you're younger is you have less to lose, and you don't know as much. So you take big swings.