Best 276 of Funny inspirational quotes - MyQuotes

By Anonym 15 Sep

Laurie Colwin

There is really a je ne sais quoi about turkey cooking - the air of festivity, the family squabbles, the constant basting - that does not apply to the turkey breast, which is, really, a convenience of food... A turkey without seasonal angst is like a baseball game without a national anthem, a winter without snow, a birthday party without candles.

By Anonym 13 Sep

Chelsea Clinton

I'm a big health-food freak and a vegetarian devotee.

By Anonym 13 Sep

Karen Marie Moning

Even I don't know what you're doing, and I know everything.

By Anonym 14 Sep

John Wooden

It's not so important who starts the game but who finishes it.

By Anonym 15 Sep

Alan Perlis

When someone says, "I want a programming language in which I need only say what I want done," give him a lollipop.

By Anonym 14 Sep

Alan Kay

Most software today is very much like an Egyptian pyramid with millions of bricks piled on top of each other, with no structural integrity, but just done by brute force and thousands of slaves.

By Anonym 13 Sep

Mark Twain

I am opposed to millionaires, but it would be dangerous to offer me the position.

By Anonym 13 Sep

Kareena Kapoor

Humor is most powerful thing that uses laughter as it base to chase your blues away.

By Anonym 15 Sep

Jim Beaver

While I was drying off Maddie after her bath tonight, she said, 'I love you' to me for the first time. It sounded like 'All lub boo,' but I didn't care. To reciprocate, I showed her what an ex-Marine looks like when he cries.

By Anonym 14 Sep

Stan Kelly-bootle

Should array indices start at 0 or 1? My compromise of 0.5 was rejected without, I thought, proper consideration.

By Anonym 13 Sep

Phyllis Diller

If you don't have wrinkles, you haven't laughed enough.

By Anonym 14 Sep

Betty White

Keep the other person's well being in mind when you feel an attack of soul-purging truth coming on.

By Anonym 16 Sep

Karen Salmansohn

I realize nobody's coming to save me. I must save myself. I must be my own super hero. Although I am open to a sidekick.

By Anonym 15 Sep

Baron De Montesquieu

To become truly great, one has to stand with people, not above them.

By Anonym 14 Sep

Chuck Noll

Pressure is something you feel when you do not know what you are doing.

By Anonym 14 Sep

George Bernard Shaw

The average age (longevity) of a meat eater is 63. I am on the verge of 85 and still work as hard as ever. I have lived quite long enough and am trying to die; but I simply cannot do it. A single beef-steak would finish me; but I cannot bring myself to swallow it. I am oppressed with a dread of living forever. That is the only disadvantage of vegetarianism.

By Anonym 14 Sep

Max Eastman

It is the ability to take a joke, not make one, that proves you have a sense of humor.

By Anonym 13 Sep

Hippocrates

Everyone has a doctor in him or her; we just have to help it in its work. The natural healing force within each one of us is the greatest force in getting well. Our food should be our medicine. Our medicine should be our food. But to eat when you are sick, is to feed your sickness.

By Anonym 13 Sep

Charles Lamb

Here cometh April again, and as far as I can see the world hath more fools in it than ever.

By Anonym 15 Sep

Ann Landers

The poor wish to be rich, the rich wish to be happy, the single wish to be married, and the married wish to be dead.

By Anonym 13 Sep

Rita Rudner

How can I have morning sickness when I don't get up till noon?

By Anonym 13 Sep

Woody Allen

All people know the same truth. Our lives consist of how we choose to distort it.

By Anonym 13 Sep

Donald Knuth

Computers are good at following instructions, but not at reading your mind.

By Anonym 14 Sep

Mindy Kaling

Teenage girls, please don’t worry about being super popular in high school, or being the best actress in high school, or the best athlete. Not only do people not care about any of that the second you graduate, but when you get older, if you reference your successes in high school too much, it actually makes you look kind of pitiful, like some babbling old Tennessee Williams character with nothing else going on in her current life. What I’ve noticed is that almost no one who was a big star in high school is also big star later in life. For us overlooked kids, it’s so wonderfully fair.

By Anonym 13 Sep

Kurt Busch

I guess good things come to those who wait.

By Anonym 15 Sep

Franklin P. Adams

You can learn many things from children. How much patience you have, for instance.

By Anonym 15 Sep

Tina Fey

You can’t be that kid standing at the top of the waterslide, overthinking it. You have to go down the chute.

By Anonym 13 Sep

George Meredith

I expect Woman will be the last thing civilized by Man.

By Anonym 15 Sep

Marion Nestle

The standard four food groups are based on American agricultural lobbies. Why do we have a milk group? Because we have a National Dairy Council. Why do we have a meat group? Because we have an extremely powerful meat lobby.

By Anonym 15 Sep

Winston Churchill

When I look back on all these worries, I remember the story of the old man who said on his deathbed that he had had a lot of trouble in his life, most of which had never happened

By Anonym 13 Sep

Jules Renard

If you are afraid of being lonely, don't try to be right.

By Anonym 15 Sep

Ricky Gervais

You should bring something into the world that wasn't in the world before. It doesn't matter what that is. It doesn't matter if it's a table or a film or gardening-everyone should create. You should do something, then sit back and say 'I did that.'

By Anonym 14 Sep

Jamie Zawinski

Linux is only free if your time has no value.

By Anonym 15 Sep

Albert Einstein

When you are courting a nice girl an hour seems like a second.

By Anonym 15 Sep

Dick Van Dyke

Women will never be as successful as men because they have no wives to advise them.

By Anonym 14 Sep

Swami Vivekananda

The history of the world is the history of a few men who had faith in themselves

By Anonym 14 Sep

Sandy Lyle

It's not whether you win or lose - but whether I win or lose.

By Anonym 14 Sep

Russell Conwell

So, if you feel a smile begin, don't leave it undetected, let's start an epidemic quick, and get the world infected!

By Anonym 15 Sep

Hippocrates

To do nothing is sometimes a good remedy.

By Anonym 13 Sep

J. Paul Getty

If you owe the bank $100 that's your problem. If you owe the bank $100 million, that's the bank's problem.

By Anonym 14 Sep

Geraldine Ferraro

It was not so very long ago that people thought that semiconductors were part-time orchestra leaders and microchips were very small snack foods.

By Anonym 14 Sep

Hippocrates

Let your food be your medicine, and your medicine be your food.

By Anonym 14 Sep

John Desmond Bernal

The full area of ignorance is not mapped. We are at present only exploring the fringes.

By Anonym 13 Sep

Devon Aoki

I sometimes think, would I drink the milk from the breast of a woman I don't know? No. So I think, why would I drink it from a cow?

By Anonym 15 Sep

Katie Macalister

You should just dump the whole saving the world plan and go with global domination. It's probably be more fun.

By Anonym 13 Sep

James Bryant Conant

Behold the turtle. He makes progress only when he sticks his neck out.

By Anonym 15 Sep

Terry Pratchett

There are, always and only, the bad people, but some of them are on opposite sides.

By Anonym 13 Sep

Hillary Clinton

Among the most striking things that I have learned is how much we have in common. I've sat down with people everywhere, discussing what was in their hearts and on their minds. And it doesn't take long to find commonality, which is often overlooked, ignored, dismissed, and rejected otherwise.

By Anonym 15 Sep

William Shakespeare

The more pity, that fools may not speak wisely what wise men do foolishly.

By Anonym 14 Sep

Amy Poehler

The great thing about taking big chances when you're younger is you have less to lose, and you don't know as much. So you take big swings.