Best 893 of Witty quotes - MyQuotes
Marriage: A word which should be pronounced "mirage".
A woman can be sexy, charming, witty or shy with her shoes.
The most important principle for self discovery and to taste success is rather than changing other's attitude changes your own. And always remember same sun which melts the butter also hardens the clay
I have a headache. If only I had a crown to put on!
In the end, you will realize most friendship is feigning, most loving mere folly.
I'd like to do music in the same way - in a witty way. People think of YG artists as rarely appearing on TV but I'd like to make Big Bang fans happy through various mediums.
Don’t be afraid of failures it takes courage to try new things & only those who try create History.
Food is an important part of a balanced diet.
People like us, who believe in physics, know that the distinction between past, present, and future is only a stubbornly persistent illusion.
Some day, Prince Kheldar, you will fall in love," the queen said with a little smirk, "and the twelve kingdoms will stand around and chortle over the fall of so notorious a bachelor.
I have had a perfectly wonderful evening, but this wasn't it.
Santa Claus has the right idea - visit people only once a year.
Best way to get rid of kitchen odors: Eat out.
It's very witty and it's great to see teenage characters have control that way. And you can actually hear about sex and pot and it's okay, it's not completely bad and you can't say that to teenagers.
Yes. Reyn is our resident horse master. He has an excellent seat." I grinned. "I've noticed." Reyn's face tightened and Nell flushed, looking embarrassed. "It's an equestrian term." "Really? I thought you were talking about his ass.
Well we can't be having that. One person starts having fun and it turns into an epidemic. Difficult to stop that kind of thing, you know.
Taking a single letter from the alphaber," he said, "should make life simpler." "I don't see why. Take the F from life and you have lie. It's adding a letter to simple that makes it simpler. Taking a letter from hoarder makes it harder.
Their business here was over then, and they all knew it; the magic moment had arrived when it was understood that nothing more would be established, discovered, or decided today. But the meeting, having once begun, must drag on for several long more hours before it could be ended. The engines of protocol had enormous inertial mass; once set in motion they took forever to grind to a stop.
I'm not so much interested in the return ON my money as I am in the return OF my money.
What do you want me to do, learn to stutter?
Guilt: the gift that keeps on giving.
A wise man is someone who knows how to convert obstacles into resources.
I love my cigar too, but I take it out of my mouth once in a while.
Carl Von Clausewitz
The backbone of surprise is fusing speed with secrecy.
I'm an angel. The horns are only there to hold up the halo.
Getting older is no problem. You just have to live long enough.
Properly trained, a man can be dog's best friend.
I said, "Your brother is in bed with my wife." I added, "I just took them up some wine in bed.
I chase goals, not girls.
I've been blessed, because the type I started in was competition based. It was about being witty and smart and innovative and different. I don't get backlash like some of the reality shows today because that's not who I am.
The trouble with the rat race is that even if you win, you're still a rat.
No body is a looser either he is a Winner or a Learner
A bachelor's life is no life for a single man.
A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man.
[Lizzie Bennington to a reporter who has asked for her opinion about Jack Archer's celebrated thighs.] “When you come back from a set down and bring the match to a final set tiebreak and are a point away from winning the match, only to have what looks like an extremely fit player call a time out because of a cramp and then watch that player sit back and casually converse and laugh while you do your best to keep your mental focus and your body moving so you don’t grow cold and cramp yourself, I hardly think you’d concern yourself with his burgeoning manhood, let alone his thighs!
I looked up in curiosity. Behind us stood the Brown and Eagle Wool Warehouse and Schneider's Cap Factory, both constructed with that wholehearted devotion to industry that sullied the word architecture.
A psychic told me I could be a medium. I told her that was impossible as I'm an extra large!
We hang the petty thieves and appoint the great ones to public office.
Memories of the past are what drive us, whether to a life of beauty or a life of insanity is up to us.
Mary Jo Putney
A witty vicar once said that a good marriage is like a pair of scissors with the couple inseparable joined, often moving in opposite directions, yet always destroying anyone who comes between them. The trick is for the blades to learn to work smoothly together, so as not to cut each other.
A beach bum is just a blue-collar lounge lizard without a roof over their head.
The next time you have a thought... let it go.
I wanted to play with death, like a child with a new toy, I wanted to push all the buttons and see what would happen.
You know how there are words that never really—they are never really quite right. You can't quite trust them. Use them. You know. Without pause.' 'There are words I stare at,' Zach says. 'Strange. Every time. Misled, that's one. I see mizzled. And unshed. I read unched.' 'Me too! But that's a different thing—except, now you mention it, it's odd about unshed, that it's only for tears. Mostly. Hardly ever blood, for instance, you don't see unshed blood. Unched. Not really.' 'Not in my case anyway. Mine sheds all over the joint! I'm a bleeder all right.
The queen sighed. "What am I going to do with all of you now!" "You're going to let us continue our journey," Belgarath replied calmly. "We'll argue about it, of course, but in the end that's the way it'll turn out." She stared at him. "You did ask, after all. I'm sure you feel better now that you know.
I'm such a good lover because I practice a lot on my own.
One of the most striking differences between a cat and a lie is that a cat has only nine lives.
Dwight D. Eisenhower
Things are more like they are now than they ever were before.
You like? she asked Slade. He gave her a head nod and she vanished behind the curtain. That's my sister, he said, pointing at the closed curtain. I shrugged. "I'm glad you guys are so close.
A pessimist is a person who has had to listen to too many optimists.