Best 204 of Random quotes - MyQuotes
Why?' He asked. 'Why what?' What could I say? Noah, despite you being an asshole, or maybe because of it, I'd like to rip off your clothes and have your babies. Don't tell.
You think I pretend weakness?" She nodded. "Not weakness, but you like to let others think they're in control, when it's you.
don't make me throw my boot at you, because I will, you grumpy high testosterone driven male
One time, in New Orleans at a youth convention for my church, I read out of the phone book during a talent show. I made it all the way to 'J' before people started booing.
I'm sorry," he says, rubbing my back. "I was an ass tonight. "You were. but you're my ass." "I've been watching myself walk away?
Sahndra Fon Dufe
I wonder what God was thinking about when he created the buttock. Asking for a friend.
I want to make you hold onto that bag while I bury myself in you so hard and so deep you don't know your own name. -Nick Rixey
I’d much rather a monkey throws a blanket instead of a brick.
Blankets make great traps for the clinically insane, but a straightjacket might work better.
The Black Pit of Despair is temporarily closed for renovations. We apologize for any inconvenience.
Phyllis Reynolds Naylor
The world is full of unrequited love,' I said finally. 'You and Patrick having problems?' Dad said, reaching around to get the butter out of the fridge. 'No, I was just wondering what you would say if I was a lesbian.' 'Come again?' said Lester. 'I'm having a hard time following this conversation.
Thomas was sick of being accused of knowing things.
I don't drink to make others look better, I just drink to make myself feel prettier.
Michael Bassey Johnson
Don't be indifferent about any random idea that occurs to you, because each and every idea is for a particular purpose. it may not be beneficial to you, but can be what others are craving for
She said my glasses made me look like a butch jock's locker room bitch.
I had to admit it was adorable. You know, in a unicorns-farting-out-rainbows kind of way that made me want to hurl.
Phyllis Reynolds Naylor
Do we have a hand mirror?' I asked from the kitchen doorway. 'Never use one,' said Lester, examining the date on a carton of sour cream. 'Naturally, you're a male. What you see is what you've got,' I said resentfully. 'Huh?' said Lester.
J. R. Rim
In my illustrious career as a university student, I turned in over 100 papers so that one day, in the end, I got 1 paper in return.
Oh, girl! He's got a big one,” the fortune teller exclaimed, her dark eyes briefly flickering up to Violet's face before returning back to the cards spread out in front of her. She paused for a moment as she studied them, her pointer finger tapping against her jaw. Finally, she added, “Just like a summer sausage, and I'm not talking about the snack-sized ones. And it's attached to a body that could put Dwayne Johnson to shame. What women could resist a package like that? I'd say the future is definitely going to be bright... at least for you.
He crouched at the care window and looked in. "What a lovely family you have. What a charming family. They're all lovely. Except for that one." His finger jabbed the glass. "That one's a bit ugly." The American stepped towards him. "What? What did you say?" "Oh, don't worry. I'm sure his personality makes up for his face.
Not that I can think of. In fact, I have never met anyone who didn’t like gargoyles.
Michael Bassey Johnson
If you keep on saying a single thing to yourself, you are likely to attract it to yourself, dreaming it always, then in a twinkle of an eye, it comes to you.
Every life is a unique random business
Don't fucking quote me!
A blanket is great for covering things, like the dead guy, I just killed with this brick.
Peace cannot be achieved; they have to be plucked out of their pod.
He once again pointed to that creepy theatrical smile. There were way too many teeth there. It made him look positively demented.
As it happens, I’m a terrible dancer. Bears are simply not made for dancing. We’re much better at sitting and sleeping and singing. But there are humans who catch bears and force us to dance. It’s agony. And there are other humans who pay to watch us.’ Hannah sighed. ‘I suppose you’re right to distrust humans.’ ‘And that is why I must eat you,’ said the bear forlornly. ‘For the benefit of the entire bear population of the world. I’m awfully sorry about this.’ ‘That’s all right.’ Hannah shrugged her shoulders. ‘Is there any point in my trying to run away?’ ‘None. We bears may not be able to dance but we are experts when it comes to chasing things.’ ‘What if I climb a tree?’ ‘I’ll climb up after you, or push the tree over. It all depends on what sort of tree you choose to climb. Either way, you’ll end up eaten.’ ‘So be it,’ said Hannah. ‘How should I prepare myself?’ ‘I beg your pardon?’ ‘Will you eat me with my clothes on?’ ‘Of course. Otherwise it would be bad manners.
Psht, as if. You and what army could possibly rescue her from my clutches?
A brick could be used as a frame for a door, and the blanket could be used as the door.
In between bites of banana, Mr. Remora would tell stories, and the children would write the stories down in notebooks, and every so often there would be a test. The stories were very short, and there were a whole lot of them on every conceivable subject. "One day I went to the store to purchase a carton of milk," Mr. Remora would say, chewing on a banana. "When I got home, I poured the milk into a glass and drank it. Then I watched television. The end." Or: "One afternoon a man named Edward got into a green truck and drove to a farm. The farm had geese and cows. The end." Mr. Ramora would tell story after story, and eat banana after banana, and it would get more and more difficult for Violet to pay attention.
A brick and a blanket together create a blick. That’s it. That’s all I got.
At the very leadt, we can grab Monica and hustle her skanky ass back to her dad wile you brave, strong menfolk hold off the bad guys. Right?
Some fail to bear in mind that everyone is sentenced to death. Death is a treacherous virus that strikes randomly. The only truth is that nobody is going to make it out alive. We are all living on probation and our expiry date is indefinite. ( “Living on probation” )
Entropy is just a fancy way of saying: things fall apart.
I knew I was in deep shit. I didn’t know how deep—just that I still hadn’t touched bottom.
It’s always fifty-fifty, Pete. Like tossing a coin. Either I’m wrong, or I’m right, either you bring us back, or you don’t, either Deputy Chiefs are what they say they are, or they’re not. Always fifty-fifty. One thing or the other is always true.
When Johnny Depp saw it, he was so excited he fluffed up to twice his normal size.
I love having to attend the one class that is being taught by a professor who feels that their class is the only class being taught at the University and gives nothing but busy work.
Woah, their gorgeous not so fast I haven't even catched your name or your number" - Jaxson Evans
What happened out there?” “I almost got quarking toasted by a dragon.” “A dragon,” he repeats, scandalized. “Are you mad? Or have you been skulking around the bars of Barbary XIII?
I can't save you unless you save me, too.
It was not as natural as it appeared. It was more like milking a cow, easy as long as someone else was doing it.
He openned the door that he assumed was the garage only to find himself in the pantry. crap. "Um . . . grabbing some Pop-Tarts for the road," Nick said, covering his mistake. Still, they both stared at him as if he'd escaped Arkham Asylum. Offering them a fake smile, he grabbed the pastries, crossed himself, and hoped he got the next door correct. Nope. Bathroom. With a pain-filled groan at his rampant stupidity, Nick pretended to use it before he tried again. At least there were only two more doors to go. Fifty-fifty chance. Thankfully, third time was the charm.
I like people who can keep the conversation going no matter how random the topic gets.
A blanket could be used as a lovely rug, a rug that just so happens to be covering a large hole, you should really feel this rug!
R. A. Delmonico
There are no perfect symmetries, there is no pure randomness, we are in the gray region between truth and chaos. Nothing novel or interesting happens unless it is on the border between order and chaos.
People in hell want snowcones.
Fine!" she shouted at it. "Okay!" shouted a man in a nearby booth at a stain on his tie. In the kitchen, another man, in a floral apron and a hairnet, nodded at a tub of soaking dishes "Yep," he said. People often found themselves assenting to inanimate objects in the Moonlight All-Nite.
A brick could create a clear winner in a fight if instead of fighting pillows against blankets, you fought bricks against blankets.