Best 225 of Oliver Markus Malloy quotes - MyQuotes

Follow
Oliver Markus Malloy
By Anonym 19 Sep

Oliver Markus Malloy

The problem with Trump voters is, they're so dumb, they don't even know how much stuff they don't know. They just assume nobody else knows more about evolution or global warming than they do. If they don't understand how it works, they think nobody understands how it works.

By Anonym 16 Sep

Oliver Markus Malloy

Have you ever played Monopoly? It's a board game designed to teach kids capitalism. And what happens in the end? The winner has all the money, and everyone else has nothing. Woohoo! So much fun! That's literally how America works. That's why there are a few super rich people who own almost everything, and tens of millions of dirt poor people who have nothing.

By Anonym 16 Sep

Oliver Markus Malloy

Ever since peasants worked themselves to death to build a pyramid for the Pharaoh, the rich ruling class has sucked the life out of the poor.

By Anonym 15 Sep

Oliver Markus Malloy

Daily mass killings are a uniquely American problem, because in America every halfwit can get his hands on a gun. You know what angry halfwits do in other countries? They throw potatoes.

By Anonym 19 Sep

Oliver Markus Malloy

What if Melania is a Red Sparrow?

By Anonym 15 Sep

Oliver Markus Malloy

Claiming to be offended is a great way to elevate yourself at the expense of others: “Look at me! I'm a much better person than you! And I judge you! I condemn you! Shame! Shame! SHAME!” These social media shamings bear an uncanny resemblance to medieval witch hunts.

By Anonym 20 Sep

Oliver Markus Malloy

Why are so many Americans for male circumcision but against female circumcision? Both are equally cruel and barbaric traditions.

By Anonym 16 Sep

Oliver Markus Malloy

if you've ever been to an old-timey museum, you've seen those silly portrait paintings that vain noblemen of by-gone eras used to plaster all over the walls of their pompous mansions. Today, thanks to social media, people can take pointless pictures and pollute the world with their dumb shit faster than ever before. Progress!

By Anonym 16 Sep

Oliver Markus Malloy

If Hollywood was a Republican town, Weinstein would still be president, and he'd still be molesting women.

By Anonym 16 Sep

Oliver Markus Malloy

Even if there were no more books published ever, there are still more books in existence today than anyone can read. And most of them suck. Good luck trying to find a good one. It's like finding a needle in a hay stack.

By Anonym 20 Sep

Oliver Markus Malloy

You might think your pussy is the wrong color or the wrong shape or the wrong size, but when a man looks at it, all he sees is heaven. Trust me, he's not worried about whether your lips are symmetrical. He's just counting his lucky stars to see you naked. It's very difficult for a man to understand why a woman would be so self-conscious about her hooha.

By Anonym 18 Sep

Oliver Markus Malloy

The fictitious men in romance novels are as fake and imaginary as vampires. They're not real.

By Anonym 16 Sep

Oliver Markus Malloy

If you like war, be a nationalist. If you like peace, be a citizen of the world.

By Anonym 17 Sep

Oliver Markus Malloy

Men feel about sex the way vampires feel about blood. They don't just like it, they crave it. That's why vampire stories always have strong sexual undercurrents. A vampire's hunger is simply a metaphor for a man's lust.

By Anonym 20 Sep

Oliver Markus Malloy

You must be a Fox News viewer. Nobody else is dumb enough to believe Trump's lies.

By Anonym 18 Sep

Oliver Markus Malloy

People don't believe in God because it's true, but because they were the victims of early childhood indoctrination.

By Anonym 20 Sep

Oliver Markus Malloy

Women use sex to get love. Men use love to get sex.

By Anonym 18 Sep

Oliver Markus Malloy

Some people looove to feel offended because it makes them feel important. When your only tool is a hammer, suddenly every problem starts to look like a nail. And when the only time you feel relevant is when you claim to be offended, suddenly everything looks offensive.

By Anonym 15 Sep

Oliver Markus Malloy

A naked breast is no more a threat to the well-being of a child than a naked hand or foot. So from a European point of view, American media censorship seems utterly ridiculous.

By Anonym 19 Sep

Oliver Markus Malloy

Wanna know how I know I'm straight? On a 3 week road trip through Scotland right after high school, my best friend (gayyy!) and I slept in the same bed at quaint little B&Bs every night. And nothing ever happened in bed between us, except for the occasional fart. If I was gay, I would have totally fucked the shit out of his cute little gay ass.

By Anonym 16 Sep

Oliver Markus Malloy

If everyone is suddenly a writer, then no one is. It feels like cultural appropriation. You're stealing their identity. You're appropriating the one thing that is sacred to real writers. You're not a writer. You like to write. There's a difference. To you it's just a hobby, and yet you decorate yourself with stolen feathers. You give yourself a title you haven't earned and don't deserve. Just like you can't wake up one day and pretend now you're a proctologist.

By Anonym 15 Sep

Oliver Markus Malloy

Do flat-earthers believe that other planets are also flat?

By Anonym 17 Sep

Oliver Markus Malloy

North Korea, the Democratic People's Republic of Korea, isn't democratic. The Nazis, the National Socialists, weren't socialists. And America isn't the land of the free. It's all just clever nationalist marketing.

By Anonym 18 Sep

Oliver Markus Malloy

The average man thinks about sex every tits seconds.

By Anonym 16 Sep

Oliver Markus Malloy

I liked the ending of The Sopranos. The screen suddenly went black. In the middle of a scene. Without any of the plotlines being resolved. That's what real life is like. Everything keeps going, until someone turns off the lights and you're dead. And even then the story continues, without you. There is no such thing as a happy ending.

By Anonym 18 Sep

Oliver Markus Malloy

The large companies that offer self-publishing services don't care whether you buy a copy of Dracula, a copy of Frankenstein, and a copy of Fifty Shades of Grey – or if you buy three "proof copies" of your own book. They still sold you three books. And they know that wannabe writers are so proud of their own crappy book, they'll buy a whole bunch of copies to give to their friends and family. Wannabe writers are their best customers.

By Anonym 17 Sep

Oliver Markus Malloy

Most wannabe writers are to the book industry what cows are to the meat industry.

By Anonym 16 Sep

Oliver Markus Malloy

Its pretty annoying to real writers, when some unqualified, talent-free hack calls himself a writer, because it devalues the word. Millions of shitty self-published wannabe writers are giving real indie writers with real talent a bad name.

By Anonym 16 Sep

Oliver Markus Malloy

Everything we men do, everything we men have done for the past 100,000 years, is all about attracting a mate. When a guy tries to impress a girl with his fancy car, or his expensive suit, or his gold watch, or his flashy shirt at the club, or he flexes his biceps, or brags about how much money he makes, he's doing the same thing that animals have done for millions of years. Like a peacock, he's trying to make himself desirable and to attract a mate.

By Anonym 18 Sep

Oliver Markus Malloy

People looked at him as an orange-faced evil clown with silly hair. Like the Joker in Batman comics. Make Gotham great again!

By Anonym 20 Sep

Oliver Markus Malloy

When you say someone is stubborn and irrational because they're black, that's racism. When you say someone is stubborn and irrational because they're female, that's sexism. When you say someone is stubborn and irrational because they're a leo, that's astrology. Notice a pattern? It's all nonsense.

By Anonym 19 Sep

Oliver Markus Malloy

The rich ruling class has used tribalism, a primitive caveman instinct, to their advantage since the beginning of time. They use it to divide and conquer us. They drive wedges between us peasants and make us fight each other, so we won’t rise up against our rulers and fight them. You can observe the same old trick everywhere in America today: Red states and blue states are fighting. Christians and Muslims are fighting. Men and women are fighting. Baby Boomers and Millennials are fighting. Black people and white people are fighting. That doesn’t just happen all by itself. There are always voices instigating these fights.

By Anonym 15 Sep

Oliver Markus Malloy

Creativity takes courage. It takes courage to bare your soul for the world. It's like taking off your armor, although you know people have pointy sticks that they love to jab into soft flesh.

By Anonym 19 Sep

Oliver Markus Malloy

The only people who try to deny the existence of Russian trolls are Russian trolls.

By Anonym 18 Sep

Oliver Markus Malloy

The difference between some random toddler scribbling some crappy drawing and Leonardo da Vinci is that Leonardo has talent. Someone with no talent is not the same as someone with talent.

By Anonym 19 Sep

Oliver Markus Malloy

The strangest thing about fascism in America today is that American facists are so dumb, they don't even know they're fascists. They don't even know what the word fascism means. They vaguely know that it had something to do with Hitler and the Nazis, but that's it. They have no idea that the first words of the Nazi anthem were "Germany above all else" which was their version of "America first." And the way Nazis demonized jews was no different than the way American fascists demonize liberals. Hitler promised to "make Germany great again." And Hitler denounced the newspapers, which exposed him for what he really was, as "Lügenpresse," which is German for "fake news." If the German Nazi party still existed today, they would look exactly like the Republican party under Trump. Hitler's rallies looked no different than Trump's rallies. And Hitler would absolutely love a well-oiled propaganda outlet like Fox News.

By Anonym 16 Sep

Oliver Markus Malloy

In the past, ten authors made a million bucks each. Now a million authors make ten bucks each. Is that better? No. That's not helping anyone. Your vanity is making it harder for real writers to feed their families.

By Anonym 18 Sep

Oliver Markus Malloy

Our entire life we chase the wrong things because we think having more money and buying more stuff will make us more happy. But it doesn't. You know why a billionaire has 100 Ferraris? Because 99 weren't enough.

By Anonym 15 Sep

Oliver Markus Malloy

Books used to be written by humanity's greatest thinkers, or at least our greatest entertainers. Now every halfwit can publish his verbal diarrhea. And millions of shitty, mediocre, uninspired, trite books are drowning out mankind's greatest literary accomplishments.

By Anonym 18 Sep

Oliver Markus Malloy

Surprise sex is the best thing to wake up to. Unless you're in prison.

By Anonym 16 Sep

Oliver Markus Malloy

If you want to be a good writer, you need to be a talented artist. And artists are unique and stand out. Artists are the opposite of conformists.

By Anonym 18 Sep

Oliver Markus Malloy

Prostitution isn't illegal to protect women. Prostitutes would be much safer if it was legal. It's illegal to protect men. Men are addicted to sex. Sex is like heroin to men. If all women were allowed to charge admission to their pussy, they would have total control over men and it would cause a giant wealth transfer. Men would go broke and women would end up with all the money and power.

By Anonym 16 Sep

Oliver Markus Malloy

Don't write 40k if the same story can be told in 10k words.

By Anonym 16 Sep

Oliver Markus Malloy

If everything Fox News says about liberals were actually true, I'd hate liberals too.

By Anonym 15 Sep

Oliver Markus Malloy

Claiming to be offended is a great way to elevate yourself at the expense of others: “Look at me! I'm a much better person than you! And I judge you! I condemn you! Shame! Shame! SHAME! I shame you for being a bad person. That means I'm a good person! Look at how really really offended I am! That means I'm a really really good person!” According to the bible, Jesus said "let he who is without sin throw the first rock." But a lot of people seem to think he said: "If you throw rocks at someone else, it proves that you're without sin.

By Anonym 16 Sep

Oliver Markus Malloy

Everyone thinks they're entitled to their 15 minutes of fame. And it's that narcissism that makes people, who have no business writing a book, think they can write a book.

By Anonym 15 Sep

Oliver Markus Malloy

Christians believe that God loves you sooo much... he created hell, just in case you don't love him back.

By Anonym 20 Sep

Oliver Markus Malloy

When you self-publish a book, not only are you competing with millions of other books, you're also at a disadvantage because your book is self-published, and a lot of readers are unwilling to even try your book, because they've had so many bad experiences.

By Anonym 17 Sep

Oliver Markus Malloy

Not every self-published indie author is bad. There actually are some very good ones. But they're the exception, not the rule.