Best 225 of Oliver Markus Malloy quotes - MyQuotes

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Oliver Markus Malloy
By Anonym 18 Sep

Oliver Markus Malloy

The fictitious men in romance novels are as fake and imaginary as vampires. They're not real.

By Anonym 15 Sep

Oliver Markus Malloy

Bad Goodreads reviews are cyberbullying: attacking someone with an undeserved 1 star review and cruel insults. Goodreads bullies trash the author's hard work, just for fun. Simply to inflict pain on a random stranger. The bully feels strong because the author is defenseless and can't fight back, while a part of them is being publicly dragged through the mud.

By Anonym 18 Sep

Oliver Markus Malloy

Reading books doesn't make you smarter. Reading smart books makes you smarter. Reading dumb books makes you dumber.

By Anonym 19 Sep

Oliver Markus Malloy

The rich ruling class has used tribalism, a primitive caveman instinct, to their advantage since the beginning of time. They use it to divide and conquer us. They drive wedges between us peasants and make us fight each other, so we won’t rise up against our rulers and fight them. You can observe the same old trick everywhere in America today: Red states and blue states are fighting. Christians and Muslims are fighting. Men and women are fighting. Baby Boomers and Millennials are fighting. Black people and white people are fighting. That doesn’t just happen all by itself. There are always voices instigating these fights.

By Anonym 18 Sep

Oliver Markus Malloy

Prostitution is not exactly a reputable business over there either, even though the girls actually have to pay taxes on their earnings, and submit to regular health check ups. Even the prostitutes have universal healthcare over there. The benefit of legal prostitution is obvious: tax income for the city, healthier girls, and safety. In Amsterdam, each girl has an alarm button next to her bed that she can press if one of her "customers" tries to rape or hurt her. The police will arrive within minutes and protect the girl from harm.

By Anonym 17 Sep

Oliver Markus Malloy

No one has ever stood out by being a conformist.

By Anonym 16 Sep

Oliver Markus Malloy

Getting fan mail from your readers is one of the greatest feelings in the world.

By Anonym 15 Sep

Oliver Markus Malloy

Claiming to be offended is a great way to elevate yourself at the expense of others: “Look at me! I'm a much better person than you! And I judge you! I condemn you! Shame! Shame! SHAME!

By Anonym 19 Sep

Oliver Markus Malloy

There's a big overlap between conspiracy theorists, racists, gun nuts, doomsday preppers, fans of the rapture and poor white Republicans. They all have one thing in common: They feel like the oppressed underdogs.

By Anonym 18 Sep

Oliver Markus Malloy

Patriotism is a gateway drug to fascism. Tribalism is the gateway to racism.

By Anonym 15 Sep

Oliver Markus Malloy

Daily mass killings are a uniquely American problem, because in America every halfwit can get his hands on a gun. You know what angry halfwits do in other countries? They throw potatoes.

By Anonym 16 Sep

Oliver Markus Malloy

If you’ve never had actual freedom, you don’t miss it. You can’t miss what you’ve never had.

By Anonym 18 Sep

Oliver Markus Malloy

So they tell you to buy stuff. More and more and more stuff. Even if you don't need any more stuff, buy more stuff! Because capitalism is like a pyramid scheme. It must constantly grow, constantly shovel more money to the top, like a sand monster feeding itself sand, or it dies.

By Anonym 17 Sep

Oliver Markus Malloy

Living in Republican red states causes opioid addiction and suicide. The stress, the poverty, the depression… these are prime reasons for addiction and suicide.

By Anonym 17 Sep

Oliver Markus Malloy

No two dogs are alike. And yet, all dogs have something in common that makes them dogs, and makes them different from cats. The same goes for men and women. The trouble starts when cats don't realize that dogs are different. Dogs think differently, and perceive the world differently, than cats do. I'm a dog. You're a cat. And a dog knows better what it's like to be a dog than a cat does.

By Anonym 15 Sep

Oliver Markus Malloy

Basically the self-publishing industry's business model is based on selling you your own book. You're giving them money so that you can feel like a writer.

By Anonym 20 Sep

Oliver Markus Malloy

Yo mama so slutty, Trump still owes her hush money.

By Anonym 19 Sep

Oliver Markus Malloy

What if Melania is a Red Sparrow?

By Anonym 16 Sep

Oliver Markus Malloy

If a girl wants to sell her body, so be it. None of my business. Don't athletes sell their bodies, too? People can do behind closed doors whatever they want, as long as it doesn't hurt anyone else.

By Anonym 20 Sep

Oliver Markus Malloy

Why ban guns? Let's give everyone rocket launchers! What could possibly go wrong?

By Anonym 16 Sep

Oliver Markus Malloy

Introverts think about more than just being introverts.

By Anonym 15 Sep

Oliver Markus Malloy

America is like an isolated information island. A lot of what happens in the rest of the world, a lot of the cultural exchange, never makes it to rural Alabama.

By Anonym 18 Sep

Oliver Markus Malloy

The difference between a writer and an author: Writers call each other writers. Readers call writers authors.

By Anonym 16 Sep

Oliver Markus Malloy

If it's true that men and women can be 'just friends' then how come all cheaters first start out as 'just friends?

By Anonym 19 Sep

Oliver Markus Malloy

We like to romanticize the wild, raw, majestic beauty of nature. But when you take a closer look, nature is really just a giant fuckfest. That beautiful bird chirping? It's a mating call. That pretty little bird is trying to get laid. And why does the peacock have such beautiful feathers? To attract females. Because he's trying to get laid. Animals in the wild spend their entire lives trying to stay alive, and to mate. That's it. They eat, they sleep, they fuck, they raise their offspring. That's the meaning of their lives.

By Anonym 19 Sep

Oliver Markus Malloy

There are no happy endings in real life. A person's story doesn't suddenly end when something good happens. If you get married, that's not a happy ending. It's the happy beginning of your next chapter together. Ultimately every life is a tragedy that ends in death and grief. Grief is the price we pay for love. But along the way, there are some precious moments of happiness. And it's those fleeting moments that make life worth living.

By Anonym 15 Sep

Oliver Markus Malloy

Being self-employed means you work 12 hours a day for yourself so you don't have to work 8 hours a day for someone else.

By Anonym 16 Sep

Oliver Markus Malloy

Guns make losers feel like winners. That's why people who suck at life don't want to give up their guns.

By Anonym 16 Sep

Oliver Markus Malloy

If you want to be a good writer, you need to be a talented artist. And artists are unique and stand out. Artists are the opposite of conformists.

By Anonym 15 Sep

Oliver Markus Malloy

Being a self-employed means you work 12 hours a day for yourself so you don't have to work 8 hours a day for someone else.

By Anonym 16 Sep

Oliver Markus Malloy

It would appear that a lot of people out there are hiding their own dark, socially unacceptable sexual fantasies behind a facade of fake indignant outrage when someone else gets caught with their pants down.

By Anonym 15 Sep

Oliver Markus Malloy

Christians believe that God loves you sooo much... he created hell, just in case you don't love him back.

By Anonym 15 Sep

Oliver Markus Malloy

Democrats suck at coming up with catchy propaganda slogans, because they don’t think like Nazis.

By Anonym 19 Sep

Oliver Markus Malloy

Trump isn’t the first wannabe dictator who accused the press of being fake news and the enemy of the people. Hitler called the press Lügenpresse, which is German for fake news.

By Anonym 17 Sep

Oliver Markus Malloy

Most self-published books are kinda like dreams. Your dream was interesting to you, but when you tell others what you dreamed last night, their eyes glaze over, because your nightly hallucinations really aren't all that interesting to anyone else.

By Anonym 18 Sep

Oliver Markus Malloy

Owning a gun proves "In God we trust" is a lie. If you actually trusted in God, you wouldn't feel like you need a gun.

By Anonym 17 Sep

Oliver Markus Malloy

Men feel about sex the way vampires feel about blood. They don't just like it, they crave it. That's why vampire stories always have strong sexual undercurrents. A vampire's hunger is simply a metaphor for a man's lust.

By Anonym 19 Sep

Oliver Markus Malloy

Trump's most fanatic supporters will never admit that he is anything less than the Second Coming of Christ, because it is much easier to brainwash someone into being a zealot than it is to make a zealot realize he has been brainwashed.

By Anonym 17 Sep

Oliver Markus Malloy

Men looove pussy. They can never get enough of it. If you send a guy a pussy pic, he's gonna think you're awesome. And he assumes you feel the same way if he sends you an unsolicited dick pic. He loves jerking off while looking at pussy, and in his mind he's certain that you must love dick pics as much as he loves pussy pics. It is such a given to him, it never even occurred to him that it might not be true. If you have a dog, you know what I'm talking about. Sometimes a dog brings you his favorite toy in the whole world. And he puts it in your lap. Not because he wants you to throw it. This is not for him. This is for you. He wants you to have it. When you look at his toy, all you see is a dirty old sock, covered in crusty dried dog spit. But that's not what he sees. To him that sock is the most awesome thing in the whole world. And he is putting The Most Awesome Thing In The Whole World in your lap. Then he sits down in front of you and stares into your eyes as if to say: "This is my gift to you. May it give you the same endless hours of joy and happiness that it has given me." And that's exactly what men think when they send you a dick pic.

By Anonym 20 Sep

Oliver Markus Malloy

Why are so many Americans for male circumcision but against female circumcision? Both are equally cruel and barbaric traditions.

By Anonym 15 Sep

Oliver Markus Malloy

Astrology is superstition. A remnant of the ignorant dark ages, when people knew nothing about how the world works. They believed the earth is flat and the center of the universe. Astrology might have made sense a long time ago, when people didn't know any better. Back then people believed that the stars were gods, with names like Zeus or Mars, the God of war, who had nothing better to do than to watch us down here on earth, and fuck with us. And gods have superpowers. So it would make sense for gods to be able to influence our lives or our decisions. Back then it sounded like there was an internal logic to it all. But nowadays we know better. Now we know that the earth is not flat and not the center of the universe. And now we know that the stars are not gods with superpowers, but simply suns and planets, millions of miles away. Big balls of gas and rock, flying through space, minding their own business. Mars is not the God of War. Mars is just a big red rock. There is simply no mechanism by which a big rock, flying through space millions of miles away, is gonna affect whether you're gonna get a raise tomorrow or not. Think about how self-centered and narcissistic that idea actually is. Astrology is the idea that this endlessly big universe and all the trillions of planets in it, are only here to affect whether you are gonna have a good day tomorrow. Because all these big rocks flying through space millions of miles away have nothing better to do than worry about you. Because you're so special, and everything is about you. The idea behind astrology is so stupid, it's actually kinda funny.

By Anonym 19 Sep

Oliver Markus Malloy

There is neither a Heaven for a Hell. Life after Death is an oxymoron. Life is just another word for existence, and Death is just another word for non-existence.

By Anonym 17 Sep

Oliver Markus Malloy

Many fundamentalist Christian Evangelicals are racist because religion and racism are two sides of the same coin. Both are nothing more than primitive tribalism: Us vs Them thinking. That's why religious nuts and racists can so easily be manipulated into hating someone who is different from them.

By Anonym 19 Sep

Oliver Markus Malloy

The purpose of a democratic government is to protect the poor from the rich. The purpose of religion is to protect the rich from the poor.

By Anonym 15 Sep

Oliver Markus Malloy

A naked breast is no more a threat to the well-being of a child than a naked hand or foot. So from a European point of view, American media censorship seems utterly ridiculous.

By Anonym 16 Sep

Oliver Markus Malloy

If everyone is suddenly a writer, then no one is. It feels like cultural appropriation. You're stealing their identity. You're appropriating the one thing that is sacred to real writers. You're not a writer. You like to write. There's a difference. To you it's just a hobby, and yet you decorate yourself with stolen feathers. You give yourself a title you haven't earned and don't deserve. Just like you can't wake up one day and pretend now you're a proctologist.

By Anonym 16 Sep

Oliver Markus Malloy

if you've ever been to an old-timey museum, you've seen those silly portrait paintings that vain noblemen of by-gone eras used to plaster all over the walls of their pompous mansions. Today, thanks to social media, people can take pointless pictures and pollute the world with their dumb shit faster than ever before. Progress!

By Anonym 20 Sep

Oliver Markus Malloy

When a guy calls you hot, he's looking at your body. When a guy calls you pretty, he's looking at your face. When a guy calls you beautiful, he's looking at your heart. All three guys still wanna fuck you though.

By Anonym 16 Sep

Oliver Markus Malloy

If God created man in his image... Does God have a functioning penis? And does God manually handle every penis he creates? Or does he outsource the job to penis-manufacturing elves?