Best 133 of Bathroom quotes - MyQuotes
Rip Van Winkle, who said, Don't make the bed; I'm just going to the bathroom. Never got a dinner!
As a general guideline, never marry anyone that you can't picture helping you go to the bathroom.
I guess I'm not that metrosexual. My bathroom cabinet is hardly overflowing with products. I only really have my stuff for shaving. I can't honestly say I moisturise, though I probably should.
Marriage is two people in love standing in the same bathroom
What is it with you and girls’ bathrooms?
I sleep with a light on in the bathroom so I can see where I'm at, because I wake up and have no clue!
John Allen Paulos
The only bit of logic-based public bathroom humor I know is: the difference between men and women is that between the statement [P and not Q] and the statement [Q and not P].
I share it here because something was about to occur on that bathroom floor that would change forever the progression of my life..what happened was that I started to pray.
The fact that Gene Weingarten and I and Bathroom Inventory are now part of some kind of Matrix of Poop strongly suggests that the Pulitzer is not what it once was.
Through the small tall bathroom window the December yard is gray and scratchy, the tree calligraphic.
There should be a new, more honest euphemism. Like, I'm leaving office because I plan to solicit more anonymous sex in bathrooms.
They gave 12 monkeys a typewriter for a week, and after a week, they only used it as a bathroom.
I started singing in the bathroom, ... Nothing was coming out. It was ghastly.
Fang (sarcasticaly): Go pick out a tree and I'll carve our initials in it. Max: (screams and goes in the bathroom)
I think allowing yourself to cry on the bathroom floor is FEARLESS.
I could take a shower every day in my own bathroom. I almost didn’t know what to do with such luxury. Other than, you know, not stink.
The bathroom scale knows nothing of extenuating circumstances.
A bathroom should be sterile and beautiful and functional. It should exude Japanese-style purity.
After about 25 fights you don't always have to keep going to the bathroom before the fight.
I don't want to abolish government. I simply want to reduce it to the size where I can drag it into the bathroom and drown it in the bathtub.
What kind of guardian are you? Shouldn't you have gone to the bathroom with him?" Isabelle demanded. Jordan looked horrified. "Dudes," he said, "do not follow other dudes to the bathroom.
As for the British churchman, he goes to church as he goes to the bathroom, with the minimum of fuss and no explanation if he can help it.
I don't want to be like the actor who rehearses everything in the bathroom, then comes to the set and carries on completely uninterrupted while the other actors tiptoe away.
My honeymoon night was spent on the floor in the bathroom with my mother.
In any relationship there are certain doors that should never be opened. The bathroom door, for example.
I have a little bit of an addiction to work. So I'm always hiding in the bathroom with my Blackberry to work when I'm on holiday.
I learned a lot about what it was like to have to use different hotels and not use the bathrooms, which made me more determined to be an activist.
In really fancy restaurants they never point to the bathroom, they just gesture toward the bathroom or they'll lead you to the bathroom. The fancier the restaurant, the less pointing there is.
Acting is like painting pictures on bathroom tissues. Ten minutes later you throw them away and they are gone.
Life is like a movie-since there aren't any commercial breaks, you have to get up and go to the bathroom in the middle of it.
I'm a professional actor. If I was a plumber, I wouldn't just do my plumbing in Beverly Hills bathrooms; I'd like to install air conditioning units and a few other things.
That's something that I learned when I was homeless. Hotels are awesome because they are going to let you in and you can use the bathroom and when you're young and pretty you can probably use the pool. Somebody might by you a drink.
The kitchen. The bathroom. The yin and yang of the household.
In a house where there are small children the bathroom soon takes on the appearance of the Old Curiosity Shop.
I do have a fantasy life in which I can grout bathrooms - but not for a living.
Why do they lock gas station bathrooms? Are they afraid someone will clean them?
I see all. I hear all. I know all. And I spend a great deal of time in the bathroom.
Love dries up, I thought as I walked back to the bathroom, even faster than sperm.
Most writers, including myself, had to endure a lot of rejections before finally getting published. You could wallpaper a sizeable bathroom with the rejection slips I have received. Don't ever give up!
The chili I ate made for an explosive bathroom experience. I don't know how to put this delicately, but I missed the toilet entirely.
I am going to be working on bathroom fittings for a company in the USA, and then I thought it was appropriate to simplify the fittings and, thus, lowering the cost.
I smoke so much. Three packs a day... I went to the bathroom, a camel came out of my ass.
I don't like to go out to clubs, because I find myself seeing remnants of drugs in the bathroom.
People always tell me I'm too modest, and that I'm allowed to tell myself now and then that I'm good at something. Well okay then, the bathroom is very (beautiful) clean right now.
Never discuss the poem you contemplate writing. It's like turning on the outside spigot. It takes all the pressure off the upstairs bathroom.
Want me to Stevie Wonder my way to the bathroom?
(I have) a wide stance when going to the bathroom.
I still get nervous on dates. I'll be sitting at dinner with a guy and I have to excuse myself and go to the bathroom because I can't breathe.
I'm a leave-the-bathroom-door-open nudist, which is sometimes disconcerting for my friends.
No, I've been doing this myself forever. I could have gone in here myself, but my daddy doesn't want me to get raped. That happens all the time in bathrooms.