Best 133 of Bathroom quotes - MyQuotes

By Anonym 14 Sep

Red Buttons

Rip Van Winkle, who said, Don't make the bed; I'm just going to the bathroom. Never got a dinner!

By Anonym 13 Sep

Robert Breault

As a general guideline, never marry anyone that you can't picture helping you go to the bathroom.

By Anonym 13 Sep

Clive Owen

I guess I'm not that metrosexual. My bathroom cabinet is hardly overflowing with products. I only really have my stuff for shaving. I can't honestly say I moisturise, though I probably should.

By Anonym 14 Sep

Austin Kleon

Marriage is two people in love standing in the same bathroom

By Anonym 15 Sep

Becca Fitzpatrick

What is it with you and girls’ bathrooms?

By Anonym 13 Sep

Carrie Underwood

I sleep with a light on in the bathroom so I can see where I'm at, because I wake up and have no clue!

By Anonym 15 Sep

John Allen Paulos

The only bit of logic-based public bathroom humor I know is: the difference between men and women is that between the statement [P and not Q] and the statement [Q and not P].

By Anonym 13 Sep

Elizabeth Gilbert

I share it here because something was about to occur on that bathroom floor that would change forever the progression of my life..what happened was that I started to pray.

By Anonym 14 Sep

Dave Barry

The fact that Gene Weingarten and I and Bathroom Inventory are now part of some kind of Matrix of Poop strongly suggests that the Pulitzer is not what it once was.

By Anonym 15 Sep

Dave Eggers

Through the small tall bathroom window the December yard is gray and scratchy, the tree calligraphic.

By Anonym 15 Sep

Tina Fey

There should be a new, more honest euphemism. Like, I'm leaving office because I plan to solicit more anonymous sex in bathrooms.

By Anonym 15 Sep

Robin Ince

They gave 12 monkeys a typewriter for a week, and after a week, they only used it as a bathroom.

By Anonym 13 Sep

Rod Stewart

I started singing in the bathroom, ... Nothing was coming out. It was ghastly.

By Anonym 13 Sep

James Patterson

Fang (sarcasticaly): Go pick out a tree and I'll carve our initials in it. Max: (screams and goes in the bathroom)

By Anonym 14 Sep

Taylor Swift

I think allowing yourself to cry on the bathroom floor is FEARLESS.

By Anonym 16 Sep

Brandon Sanderson

I could take a shower every day in my own bathroom. I almost didn’t know what to do with such luxury. Other than, you know, not stink.

By Anonym 14 Sep

Mason Cooley

The bathroom scale knows nothing of extenuating circumstances.

By Anonym 13 Sep

Isaac Mizrahi

A bathroom should be sterile and beautiful and functional. It should exude Japanese-style purity.

By Anonym 13 Sep

Lennox Lewis

After about 25 fights you don't always have to keep going to the bathroom before the fight.

By Anonym 13 Sep

Grover Norquist

I don't want to abolish government. I simply want to reduce it to the size where I can drag it into the bathroom and drown it in the bathtub.

By Anonym 15 Sep

Cassandra Clare

What kind of guardian are you? Shouldn't you have gone to the bathroom with him?" Isabelle demanded. Jordan looked horrified. "Dudes," he said, "do not follow other dudes to the bathroom.

By Anonym 13 Sep

Ronald Blythe

As for the British churchman, he goes to church as he goes to the bathroom, with the minimum of fuss and no explanation if he can help it.

By Anonym 13 Sep

Ben Kingsley

I don't want to be like the actor who rehearses everything in the bathroom, then comes to the set and carries on completely uninterrupted while the other actors tiptoe away.

By Anonym 14 Sep

Ronnie Spector

My honeymoon night was spent on the floor in the bathroom with my mother.

By Anonym 13 Sep

Richard Jeni

In any relationship there are certain doors that should never be opened. The bathroom door, for example.

By Anonym 13 Sep

Penelope Cruz

I have a little bit of an addiction to work. So I'm always hiding in the bathroom with my Blackberry to work when I'm on holiday.

By Anonym 13 Sep

Bonnie Raitt

I learned a lot about what it was like to have to use different hotels and not use the bathrooms, which made me more determined to be an activist.

By Anonym 13 Sep

Nico Muhly

In really fancy restaurants they never point to the bathroom, they just gesture toward the bathroom or they'll lead you to the bathroom. The fancier the restaurant, the less pointing there is.

By Anonym 13 Sep

Shelley Winters

Acting is like painting pictures on bathroom tissues. Ten minutes later you throw them away and they are gone.

By Anonym 14 Sep

Garry Trudeau

Life is like a movie-since there aren't any commercial breaks, you have to get up and go to the bathroom in the middle of it.

By Anonym 13 Sep

Leslie Nielsen

I'm a professional actor. If I was a plumber, I wouldn't just do my plumbing in Beverly Hills bathrooms; I'd like to install air conditioning units and a few other things.

By Anonym 14 Sep

Lori Petty

That's something that I learned when I was homeless. Hotels are awesome because they are going to let you in and you can use the bathroom and when you're young and pretty you can probably use the pool. Somebody might by you a drink.

By Anonym 18 Sep

David C Holley

The kitchen. The bathroom. The yin and yang of the household.

By Anonym 13 Sep

Robert Benchley

In a house where there are small children the bathroom soon takes on the appearance of the Old Curiosity Shop.

By Anonym 13 Sep

Will Self

I do have a fantasy life in which I can grout bathrooms - but not for a living.

By Anonym 15 Sep

George Carlin

Why do they lock gas station bathrooms? Are they afraid someone will clean them?

By Anonym 13 Sep

Harlan Ellison

I see all. I hear all. I know all. And I spend a great deal of time in the bathroom.

By Anonym 14 Sep

Charles Bukowski

Love dries up, I thought as I walked back to the bathroom, even faster than sperm.

By Anonym 14 Sep

Jonathan Weeks

Most writers, including myself, had to endure a lot of rejections before finally getting published. You could wallpaper a sizeable bathroom with the rejection slips I have received. Don't ever give up!

By Anonym 14 Sep

Seth Green

The chili I ate made for an explosive bathroom experience. I don't know how to put this delicately, but I missed the toilet entirely.

By Anonym 13 Sep

Arne Jacobsen

I am going to be working on bathroom fittings for a company in the USA, and then I thought it was appropriate to simplify the fittings and, thus, lowering the cost.

By Anonym 13 Sep

Dave Attell

I smoke so much. Three packs a day... I went to the bathroom, a camel came out of my ass.

By Anonym 13 Sep

Demi Lovato

I don't like to go out to clubs, because I find myself seeing remnants of drugs in the bathroom.

By Anonym 14 Sep

Willemijn Verkaik

People always tell me I'm too modest, and that I'm allowed to tell myself now and then that I'm good at something. Well okay then, the bathroom is very (beautiful) clean right now.

By Anonym 14 Sep

Robert Frost

Never discuss the poem you contemplate writing. It's like turning on the outside spigot. It takes all the pressure off the upstairs bathroom.

By Anonym 15 Sep

Amy Schumer

Want me to Stevie Wonder my way to the bathroom?

By Anonym 13 Sep

Larry Craig

(I have) a wide stance when going to the bathroom.

By Anonym 13 Sep

Shannen Doherty

I still get nervous on dates. I'll be sitting at dinner with a guy and I have to excuse myself and go to the bathroom because I can't breathe.

By Anonym 13 Sep

Alanis Morissette

I'm a leave-the-bathroom-door-open nudist, which is sometimes disconcerting for my friends.

By Anonym 17 Sep

Gabrielle Zevin

No, I've been doing this myself forever. I could have gone in here myself, but my daddy doesn't want me to get raped. That happens all the time in bathrooms.