Best 78 of Penis quotes - MyQuotes

By Anonym 15 Sep

Steve Maraboli

Don’t be a critic. The critic is to art what the limp penis is to sex.

By Anonym 15 Sep

Charlene Hartnady

At least you are back to being normal size." She gave a strangled laugh. "If the size of a cucumber on steroids is normal that is.

By Anonym 19 Sep

Antonella Gambotto-burke

The penis is always depicted as sufficient in itself, the genital equivalent of the Eye of Sauron.

By Anonym 16 Sep

Crystal Woods

I didn’t need to be a writer to know that I could. Did you have to become a penis to act like a dick?

By Anonym 15 Sep

Tom Perrotta

As if adult males were completely self-sufficient beings, as if a penis and a five o’clock shadow were all they would ever need to get by.

By Anonym 16 Sep

Mokokoma Mokhonoana

Even the world’s greatest actor cannot fake an erection.

By Anonym 17 Sep

Michael Bassey Johnson

Mother said, haven't you seen older boys of your age, that you should take your rotten hands and play with my son's penis? I held my mouth, and i really stiffled a giggle. Now i understood the bloody vexation and the reckless act performed by our housegirl. She was fondling my infant part, and i knew she was horny and lost in the act.

By Anonym 15 Sep

R. J. Silver

Because I feel as if I let it down. As if it needed something from me, I was its only hope, and now that hope is gone.' 'What penis doesn’t try to make you feel that way?

By Anonym 18 Sep

Henry Miller

The kangaroo has a double penis - one for week days and one for holidays.

By Anonym 20 Sep

Michel Houellebecq

When you got right down to it, my dick was the one organ that hadn’t presented itself to my consciousness through pain, only pleasure. Modest but robust, it had always served me faithfully. Or, you could argue, I had served it – if so, its yoke had been easy. It never gave me orders. It sometimes encouraged me to get out more, but it encouraged me humbly, without bitterness or anger. This past evening, I knew, it had interceded on Myriam’s behalf. It had always enjoyed good relations with Myriam, Myriam had always treated it with affection and respect, and this had given me an enormous amount of pleasure. And sources of pleasure were hard to come by. In the end, my dick was all I had.

By Anonym 16 Sep

Laurence Sterne

I define a nose, as follows,—intreating only beforehand, and beseeching my readers, both male and female, of what age, complexion, and condition soever, for the love of God and their own souls, to guard against the temptations and suggestions of the devil, and suffer him by no art or wile to put any other ideas into their minds, than what I put into my definition.—For by the word Nose, throughout all this long chapter of noses, and in every other part of my work, where the word Nose occurs,—I declare, by that word I mean a Nose, and nothing more, or less.

By Anonym 19 Sep

Kathryn Davis

The proximity of Mary filled him with excitement; he had to work to slow his breathing. A drop, another drop – he was flicking his penis dry. It grew long and thin, the corona pointed and cleft like a hoof.

By Anonym 18 Sep

Deyth Banger

The face is like a penis.

By Anonym 17 Sep

Edmund White

Now, that’s what you call a vicious French queen. I never discussed your penis size – ” “Bet you did,” Kevin said, “at the beginning. I’ve heard the way gay guys talk at the gym. Nothing’s sacred. Not even my poor little penis.

By Anonym 19 Sep

Colleen Chen

Then she heard tiny moaning noises coming from the direction of the object. It sounded almost human. She couldn’t leave without knowing what it was. She approached it, reached out, and lifted the branch. About as long as her hand and pink, it resembled a piece of flesh. She identified it immediately…after all, she’d seen another one just this morning. It was a penis. One side had a rounded end, bisected by a gentle indentation with a small irregular hole in the center. On the other end, it still bore its testicles in their dark red sac. If it had ever belonged to a man, the wound had disappeared completely, as Vesper could see no place where it appeared hacked off or scarred.

By Anonym 20 Sep

Gay Talese

While the moral force of Judeo-Christian tradition and the law have sought to purify the penis, and to restrict its seed to the sanctified institution of matrimony, the penis is not by nature a monogamous organ. It knows no moral code. It was designed by nature for waste, it craves variety, and nothing less than castration will eliminate the allure of prostitution, fornication adultery, or pornography.

By Anonym 18 Sep

James Joyce

So beautiful of course compared with what a man looks like with his two bags full and his other thing hanging down out of him or sticking up at you like a hatrack no wonder they hide it with a cabbageleaf

By Anonym 15 Sep

Thomm Quackenbush

Aw, so he used you as a penis cozy and then left? Guys are pigs.

By Anonym 15 Sep

Katie Heaney

And though nobody has been dumb enough to say anything close to "You need to get laid" to my face, I resent the idea that anyone might think, if they knew my history, that I'd be slightly different by virtue of having a penis-however briefly-inside me. That is some phallocentric bullshit if I ever heard any. Hypothetical penises don't make the rules. I make the rules. I love the rules.

By Anonym 18 Sep

Richard Brautigan

The Beautiful Poem" I go to bed in Los Angeles thinking about you. Pissing a few moments ago I looked down at my penis affectionately. Knowing it has been inside you twice today makes me feel beautiful.

By Anonym 18 Sep

Elizabeth Hoyt

She swallowed. He was covered, of course, but she knew what lay beneath the sheets- she'd seen him entirely nude at the Lords' revels. She had the image burned into her memory: a proud, thick penis, heavy sac, and curling midnight hair. If the coverlet slipped just a little bit downward, she would see the upper edge of that nest of black hair. The thought made her press her thighs together under her dress. Did he know how his body affected her?

By Anonym 16 Sep

Inio Asano

I like your dick better than you.

By Anonym 16 Sep

Steve Almond

his dick, for example, was just that. It wasn’t odd or typical. It just was, by god. And isn’t that nice?

By Anonym 17 Sep

Edmund White

Nor did Kevin go, “Ew-w,” when he pulled his penis out and it was brown and smelly, and that, too, Guy considered a rite de passage.

By Anonym 17 Sep

Ian Mcewan

Not everyone knows what it is to have your father’s rival’s penis inches from your nose.

By Anonym 18 Sep

Mokokoma Mokhonoana

Size definitely counts: some things are too small … and some are too big.

By Anonym 18 Sep

Allan Dare Pearce

Something girls never understood about poker night. The real point of the card play was to razz. Razzing calls forth unbridled farm-boy humour, earthy by some standards. The best quip involves belittling someone else's penis, or turning it back on the sayer, or both.

By Anonym 18 Sep

Sarai Walker

The CEO knew cocks were bad for business. Breasts she could get away with. Women knew their place, but with men it wasn’t as simple.

By Anonym 19 Sep

Teodor Burnar

V-as povesti despre penisul meu, dar ar fi o poveste lunga.

By Anonym 19 Sep

Teodor Burnar

Unii ar zice ca Scorpionii sunt obsedati de sex. Dar nu penisul, ci inima mi-e organul cel mai neascultator: bate pentru altii.

By Anonym 17 Sep

Rosanna Leo

Lord, she really hoped that was his penis and that Greek gods didn’t pad their briefs.

By Anonym 19 Sep

Gay Talese

The penis, often regarded as a weapon, is also a burden, the male curse.

By Anonym 16 Sep

Joyce Haber

...I got the word. It's get out of town, and it wasn't even from Mel Torme. "If Natalie were here, she'd say Torme has the best pipes in town," said Elena. "Anyone else might say that. What Nat would say is he has the biggest pipe in town.

By Anonym 17 Sep

Mokokoma Mokhonoana

One-night stands were invented to free men from worrying about the size of their penis. And to free women from worrying about the size of their stretch marks.

By Anonym 18 Sep

Juha Itkonen

Suostun halaukseen. Olen nimenomaan halattava, Rose kietoo kätensä lanteideni ympäri ja puristaa itseään vasten. Alkaa saman tien seistä. En mahda sille mitään, minulla seisoo nyt pienimmästäkin läheisyydestä, asioiden tilan sanelema pakollinen selibaatti on palauttanut minut takaisin seitsemäntoistavuotiaan tilaan Penis on todellakin idioottimainen elin. Se ei tajua mitään eikä välitä mistään. Se on aina valmis. Se ei tunne murheita eikä kanna vastuuta aiheuttamistaan ongelmista, esimerkiksi tällaisista.

By Anonym 16 Sep

Robin Mclaurin Williams

God heeft de man een penis en hersenen gegeven, maar niet genoeg bloedtoevoer om ze tegelijk te laten werken.

By Anonym 15 Sep

Matt Fraction

Death to the pale-penised man-monster! Death to the pendulous-breasted harridan!

By Anonym 16 Sep

Hanif Kureishi

Harry leaned forward. “You put your penis on the page.

By Anonym 16 Sep

Roberto Hogue

For a guy, nothing is sexier than a girl who craves his little guy and can’t keep her hands off of it… because this is exactly the way he feels about your ladyparts whether he’s groping them like a savage or quietly watching TV next to you.

By Anonym 16 Sep

Janet Evanovich

It's not a nice thing to send a penis to a woman. It's disrespectful.

By Anonym 19 Sep

Mokokoma Mokhonoana

The use of reason and that of an erect penis are mutually exclusive.

By Anonym 16 Sep

Grayson Perry

Having a penis can be like having an illusory prize dangled in front of you. It symbolizes a historical birthright to power, respect and pride.

By Anonym 17 Sep

Ada Palmer

Now, the penis is round, and the anus is round, while the vagina’s opening is long and narrow; clearly then Nature designed the penis to fit into the anus, not into the vagina.

By Anonym 15 Sep

Mokokoma Mokhonoana

A man’s bank balance is the new penis size.

By Anonym 15 Sep

Evan Gilbert

Cody was both ashamed and astonished to learn that it was actually possible to break a penis.

By Anonym 18 Sep

Michael Bassey Johnson

Take off your damned wrapper! The old buffer ordered, looking intensely at her lower part. Comfort was on her knees, rubbing the old man's dirty feet. All her plea and tears continually worsen the whole matter. I want to do you harder cos you gonna be fucked by other folks who needs a large hole, said the man, moving towards her. Comfort struggled with all her feminine might, but the old masculine but old man ripped her wrapper and slapped her on the face. Lie here, Lie here! I'm gonna do what your old man did to your mama and its gonna sweet you. She screamed as the man's organ prick her glory hole like a sharp needle.

By Anonym 16 Sep

Elizabeth Hoyt

He was covered, of course, but she knew what lay beneath the sheets- she'd seen him entirely nude at the Lords' revels. She had the image burned into her memory: a proud, thick penis, heavy sac, and curling midnight hair. If the coverlet slipped just a little bit downward, she would see the upper edge of that nest of black hair. The thought made her press her thighs together under her dress. Did he know how his body affected her?

By Anonym 16 Sep

Marjane Satrapi

I've never seen or touched anything." "Can you explain then how you had children?" "You're right. It's true I have four kids. Four! But still I have never seen the male organ. He came into the bedroom, he turned off the light, and then Bam! Bam! Bam! and voila I was pregnant! What's more, I was granted four girls. So I have never seen penises.

By Anonym 18 Sep

Stephen King

She was not prepared to say every man was the same, but the majority were, because the instincts came with the package. With the penis.

By Anonym 19 Sep

Dylan Perry

The silent horror of Archie's ordeal had been temporarily replaced by the howling, agonising pain of the blood refusing to drain from his penis, the end of which was a deep purple verging on black where Officer Griff had tested how hard it was by using the back of his hand to give it a solid twang.