Best 2 398 of Comedy quotes - MyQuotes

By Anonym 13 Sep

Jerry Seinfeld

Comedy is just complaining in an entertaining way, Enterplaining.

By Anonym 13 Sep

Melissa Mccarthy

Comedy to me is all about the bumps and bruises and weird tics.

By Anonym 15 Sep

Joe Montaperto

Ask not what your Joe Montaperto can do for you, but rather what YOU can do for your Joe Montaperto.

By Anonym 14 Sep

Eddie Izzard

I wanted to be less well-known in comedy.

By Anonym 14 Sep

Bill Maher

Recognition is one of the three big elements of comedy.

By Anonym 14 Sep

Rob Corddry

I've got like a week and a half left, all bets are off.

By Anonym 17 Sep

Joan Rivers

Maybe that is why in my comedy I try and puncture the hypocrisy all around us, why it is almost a crusade with me to strip life down to what really is true.

By Anonym 15 Sep

Maya Rudolph

Without a doubt in sketch comedy there are fewer women than men.

By Anonym 14 Sep

Matt Labash

One night I attended a Laughing Liberally comedy show. There was one funny comedian there - Lee Camp.

By Anonym 13 Sep

Norman Jewison

I'm in the mood for another Moonstruck experience, for another romantic comedy.

By Anonym 13 Sep

V. S. Pritchett

Among the masked dandies of Edwardian comedy, Max Beerbohm is the most happily armored by a deep and almost innocent love of himself as a work of art.

By Anonym 14 Sep

Jennifer Aniston

People who do comedy are always underrated because they make it look so easy.

By Anonym 16 Sep

Steven L. Sheppard

I am a playwright who does not write comedies, or tragedies.

By Anonym 15 Sep

Steven Moffat

The trouble with a series as it gets older is it can feel like a tradition, and tradition is the enemy of suspense, and it's the enemy of comedy. It's the enemy of everything, really. So you have to shake it up.

By Anonym 17 Sep

Randy Kagan

My girlfriend and I just had make-up sex. We both wore make-up.

By Anonym 13 Sep

Sandra Bullock

I know nothing about love and romance, so I prefer to stick to just comedy.

By Anonym 13 Sep

Melvin Helitzer

If the audience knows what's behind the door and the actor does not, that's comedy. If both the audience and the actor do not know, that's mystery!

By Anonym 13 Sep

Michael Showalter

I don't personally feel comfortable performing in a comedy club, mainly because as an audience member, I've never enjoyed that experience. It feels a little bit theme-park-ish to me, in that it's a club whose product is comedy. I find that weird. It's like those specialty chocolate stores, where everything is chocolate. It's too specific. I like going somewhere that specializes in variety.

By Anonym 13 Sep

Michael Schur

I find Billy Eichner to be hilarious, though I also imagine that for many, a little goes a long way. Billy provides a kind of comedy the Parks and Recreations show did not have - an insane person screaming at everyone, and our job going forward, as it is with all of our characters, is to develop him and make him more three dimensional.

By Anonym 13 Sep

Josh Billings

Genius ain't anything more than elegant common sense.

By Anonym 13 Sep

Amy Poehler

I hope and assume that every good comedy writer, no matter the age, has a moment where they discover how great Cheers is.

By Anonym 16 Sep

J. Ross Clara

HECKLER: Say something funny! COMEDIAN: I don't do requests.

By Anonym 18 Sep

Elaine Kagan

The dimple in his left cheek was ironic-it gave the impression that he was sweet as a cupcake. (Dark City Lights)

By Anonym 20 Sep

H. M. Ward

You know that's why mermaids swim around topless all the time, right? It's because their boobs are too big and all bras are C shells.

By Anonym 13 Sep

Craig Kilborn

Comedy doesn't always have to come from a dark place.

By Anonym 18 Sep

Heather Vogel Frederick

She forks up a little nibble and wedges it in her mouth. "Yum," she croaks. Mrs. Wong looks pleased. "It's made with tofu." I can't resist. "Free-range tofu?" My mother looks over at me sharply. Mrs. Wong takes the bait. "Now, Cassidy, tofu isn't an animal," she chides. "It's soy bean curd. Soy bean curd doesn't need to roam free." On the floor below me, Emma lets out a little snort. I nudge her again with my foot. We're both grinning at the thought of a corral somewhere with little cubes of tofu wandering around. "Home, home on the range," I sing to her under my breath. "Where the deer and the tofu roam free...

By Anonym 14 Sep

Andrew Dice Clay

I've always had my voice as a comic. I was never that into politics, or prop comedy.

By Anonym 14 Sep

Harold Ramis

I've always thought that comedy was just another dramatic expression.

By Anonym 14 Sep

Robert Carlyle

I think I have a natural, if I can say that, got a kind of natural ability in comedy.

By Anonym 16 Sep

Jennifer Saunders

If I could go back and say one thing to my younger self it would be: YOU ARE NOT FAT.

By Anonym 13 Sep

David Duchovny

I'm always trying to perfect the romantic comedy, though.

By Anonym 13 Sep

Edmund Gwenn

Dying is easy. Comedy is hard.

By Anonym 13 Sep

Stephen Fry

But if one could go back in time, I'd love to have been directed by Howard Hawks, who's one of my great heroes. One of the greatest directors there ever was. He directed probably one of the greatest westerns of all time in 'Rio Bravo'.

By Anonym 15 Sep

Nick Kroll

The more you're able to understand how to do a good dramatic performance, that can inform your comedy. It all informs one another. And it keeps everything interesting.

By Anonym 20 Sep

Sol Luckman

When it rains it pours and when it shines you get melanoma.

By Anonym 19 Sep

Kelly Sue Deconnick

What every girl should know: Your vagina is disgusting. It smells like the underside of a kangaroo pouch and he doesn't want to touch you because of the grossness. But thankfully, NEW brand douche, perfected by a leading gynecologist, gently cleanses and refreshes, making you feel feminine and special. Because what's more special than a vage filled with vinegar and chemical daisies? Also available in SPICY CINNAMON TACO, for the girl adventurer.

By Anonym 14 Sep

Jacqueline Macinnes Wood

I would like to do comedy. I can be a bit of a Jim Carrey. I was always the class clown.

By Anonym 15 Sep

Dave Chappelle

What is wrong with me i just bought a bag of weed from an infant.

By Anonym 13 Sep

Paula Patton

Comedy is not supposed to be funny. Its supposed to tell the truth and then that's funny.

By Anonym 15 Sep

Sid Caesar

When I did comedy I made fun of myself. If there was a buffoon, I played the buffoon.

By Anonym 13 Sep

Tatiana Maslany

I find comedy to be really scary, because it can go so wrong so easily, and the margin for error is so huge - and I guess that's what makes it funny, that tension.

By Anonym 18 Sep

Rachel Dratch

Somewhere in the back of my head must have been the thought that No leads to dead ends, and Yes leads to possibilities. Again, hearkening back to my improv days, this was the ultimate "Yes And.

By Anonym 14 Sep

Dana Fox

It's harder and harder to make a well-done romantic comedy these days because the conventions have been so played out.

By Anonym 15 Sep

Demetri Martin

When someone describes themself as a taxpayer, they're about to be an asshole.

By Anonym 14 Sep

Bill Burr

Stand up comedy is this thing you get to do, so you have to treat it with respect. You can't just be like, 'Alright, I got my hour down, people are coming to see me now. Now, I'm going to lean on the mike stand.' No, you gotta work even harder now. You got to top what you already did. Because they'll find someone else.

By Anonym 16 Sep

Carla H Krueger

He’s in a side room alone with her and it’s far too fucking hot.

By Anonym 14 Sep

Joel Mchale

I used comedy as a way to combat my dyslexia. I was barely getting by scholastically, so I used a lot of humor.

By Anonym 15 Sep

Anne Carson

Come here, let me share a bit of wisdom with you. Have you given much thought to our mortal condition? Probably not. Why would you? Well, listen. All mortals owe a debt to death. There's no one alive who can say if he will be tomorrow. Our fate moves invisibly! A mystery. No one can teach it, no one can grasp it. Accept this! Cheer up! Have a drink! But don't forget Aphrodite--that's one sweet goddess. You can let the rest go. Am I making sense? I think so. How about a drink. Put on a garland. I'm sure the happy splash of wine will cure your mood. We're all mortal you know. Think mortal. Because my theory is, there's no such thing as life, it's just catastrophe.

By Anonym 15 Sep

Jim Dale

When I was nine, we'd take a bus to the seaside. Coming back, we'd take turns entertaining, singing songs and the like. I tried some stand-up comedy. I had a captive audience in that bus. Then I realized I wanted to do more than that.

By Anonym 19 Sep

Georgette Heyer

Them Frenchies!’ ‘Unchristian, that’s what I call ’em,’ responded Mr. Stubbs severely. ‘I fair compassionate that wench.