Best 24 quotes of Arthur Smith on MyQuotes

About every four years, someone says to me, "I've got a friend who looks exactly like you." What can you say to this?

Acting in a stage play is like working the evening shift in an office.

Acting is the most demanding, painful job in the world.

After you've read a novel, you only retain a vague memory of its contents. You remember the atmosphere, the odd image or phrase or vivid cameo.

An uninspiring canvas becomes a glamorous masterpiece when it is reattributed to a better-known artist.

Comedy ages quicker than tragedy, to the extent that we can't know if the 10 commandments may originally have been 10 hilarious one-liners.

Don Quixote's 'Delusions' is an excellent read - far better than my own forthcoming travel book, 'Walking Backwards Across Tuscany.'

Global warming, the ongoing destruction of the planet, Third World debt, the uselessness of the railways, the takeover by the corporations, the scary George Bush person: all these things are important and should be animating me into outrage. Yet somehow they do not.

I find it hilarious that there are academics who try to analyse chemical changes in the brains of students while exposing them to gags.

If you want to be happy for a short time, get drunk happy for a long time, fall in love; happy forever, take up gardening.

If you want to write something of length, however modern and radical, you must live the life of an elderly gentleman of the 1950s.

I'm an armchair kind of guy, especially when it's raining, which it always is and always will be.

I read 'Crime and Punishment' years ago and don't recall the details of it, but I do retain a strong sense of the creeping paranoia and panic.

I see my large nose, like half an avocado. I broke it falling downstairs when I was six, and it now resembles a large blob of play-dough.

It is more interesting to be compared to someone famous, because it lets you gauge what perceptions people have about your appearance.

It was Julie Burchill who decreed that, beyond a certain age, a man should not be seen in a leather jacket.

Listening to Chris Moyles on Radio 1 is the most miserable thing any human being can do, but attending awards ceremonies isn't far behind.

My sister-in-law believes that few narratives are so tightly constructed that you can't skip boring bits and still keep abreast of what's going on.

Ninety-eight per cent of laughter is nothing to do with jokes, which do not deserve to bear the weight of all the funny stuff in the world.

Obviously I am not bothered about men's fashion - is anyone, apart from Jonathan Ross?

Reading the play at home, however fulfilling, can never be the vivacious experience that Shakespeare intended.

The best way to prepare for a night out with a Shakespearean tragedy is to do a bit of reading up in the afternoon, eat a light supper - perhaps Welsh rarebit - and then arrive early to do some stretching exercises in the foyer before curtain-up.

The history of the relationship between comedy and swimming is short indeed. Of course it is always funny when someone falls into water, but that's about it.

The real change that paintings undergo is in the perceptions of the viewer.