Best 42 quotes of Natasha Leggero on MyQuotes

All these rappers on stage and Martha Stewart has done the most jail time.

Bragging that you had sex with a prostitute is like bragging that you got Doritos out of a vending machine.

Comedy is just one of the many professions that women are taking over.

College seems like a pretty expensive way to become an alcoholic.

Don't be intimidated by my outfit, it's Forever 21.

Do they give Pulitzers for tweets yet?

For comedians, we're all kind of tweeting our thoughts instead of spending time developing them. You can gauge how good a joke might be by how many times it gets retweeted, but it takes discipline to go back through the tweets and then develop jokes from them.

Getting worried there might not be enough talent in America to acommodate all these singing shows.

Gluten free pizza elicits the same response at a hollywood party that a pile of cocaine did in the 80's.

Guys should not be allowed to use the Internet all day long. So sad.

Have you heard his new song? 'Cause he thinks he's a black man now.

Have you ever noticed that your ugliest friend is the most afraid of getting ruffied? It's like relax. YOU can take the coaster off your drink. There are at least three of us in line ahead of you.

Having a baby is like a DUI from the universe.

How are you gonna make an 'idol' from the type of person you're trying to avoid in real life?

If Jesus had known that his image would end up on Justin Bieber's calf, he would've never started Christianity.

I grew up as a child actress, not a child star. I was an actress - big difference.

I just went home to Illinois, and I asked my family, 'Are you guys planning on talking in those accents the whole time I'm home?' And my mother said, 'You used to talk like that, too, Tasha.' And I said, 'Yes, but you see, I've reinvented myself. Do you have any idea who I think I am?'

I love hard punch lines, and I like anything that has a strong point of view.

I'm not 'one of the guys.' I don't want to pretend to be one on stage. I'm not going to dress like a guy or carry myself like one.

In L.A., you tend to see a lot of people do very bizarre things. I love it.

I was raised Catholic in Rockford, Illinois. But I'm not a practicing Catholic anymore. Oh God, no.

I wish his music came out of the closet and admit that it sucks.

James Franco, acting, teaching, directing, writing, producing, photography, soundtracks, editing - is there anything you can do?

Justin's fan are called Beliebers because it's politically incorrect to use the word retards.

Ke$ha IS the walk of shame.

Love is telling someone their hair extensions are showing.

Lovin this Ghost Ghirls! It was great to get to play a madame not just a boring prostitute.

Make a sex tape, upload it, get on a reality show, release a perfume, retire. That's the new American dream.

Male comics are always coming up to me and they're like 'Hey Natasha. Don't you think you're a little attractive to be a comedian?' and I'm like 'Don't you think you're a little ugly to be talking to me?'

Neil Hamburger writes such cutting jokes.

My dream part would be to play Mitt Romney's sarcastic black maid. We could call it 'Mammy & Me.'

My friends who have babies can't do anything. You can't go out at night. Having a baby is like a DUI from the universe.

Often when you are starting out in comedy, you will find that people will laugh at the things you didn't think were funny. It's important to pay attention also to what people are laughing at when you are just talking in regular conversation. Often that is when you are truly being yourself.

Pop culture, it's crazy. There's all this violence in video games. In 'Call of Duty,' people are literally just blowing other people up. Hey, let's protect your country from your couch while eating your sandwich.

The chasm between rich and poor is becoming larger, and I think it's interesting terrain to talk about and expose.

The idea that you're supposed to do everything on your own is absurd. You can't.

The only thing that makes me cry at weddings is the DJ's playlist.

There are different types of art, and you just have to follow where things take you. It helps me with my desire to perform live. That's something that a lot of actors and actresses don't get to experience on a regular basis.

The waiters in France could all be senators in the US.

TLC should stand for Toddlers, Lunatics, and Cake.

Why does every flight attendant seem like they are going through a divorce?

Your main contribution is spray painting your nickname on other people's things. And my cousin, who's a 'gangster', he's like, 'No, Tash, you don't understand; you throw a fat piece up there, that piece is yours.' I'm like, 'No one thinks you own Costco.'