Best 25 quotes of Craig Benzine on MyQuotes

At one time or another, farts have coincided with every other sound, including this quote.

Based on this one experience I had, jumping to conclusions is always really stupid.

Bird Poop in the mouth is always a surprise.

Blanket statements are always stupid. NO EXCEPTIONS!

Cars and bumper cars are two very different things. NEVER sleep in a bumper car.

Dont get scared of death. Get rich! Then die.

Don’t put clothes on food. It’s supposed to be naked.

During a heat wave every dude stinks.

I'd choose truth over cake but I'd try to find a way to get both to be honest.

It's better to have a broken CD player that worked once than to never have evolved into a self-aware carbon based lifeform.

It's better to have won & lost than to have won, stopped trying, & descended into alcoholism.

I would hate to be a bee. Be surrounded by bees all the time.

Never put a foot down in the middle of a foot rub.

Nothing is perfect. Therefore, being perfect is being nothing… and that's a great way to lose weight.

The good thing about living like me is everywhere you go is a step up.

The grass is always greener when it's covered in money.

The only good excuse for not succeeding is DEATH! Unless you're trying to be a ghost. Then it's LIFE!

Theres nothing to fear but fears themselves, such as monsters, rejection, food poisoning, redundancy, monsters, and oxford commas.

Visiting Saturn sounds like a lot of fun but you will die!

If you're gonna lob something, lob love.

Nature is a porno. Deal with it.

Saving time is so important that I'm not even going to finish this sen-it's lunchtime already? Yum yum.

The coffee's done? I LOVE IT WHEN THE COFFEE'S DONE!

This quote will self-destruct in....4....3....2...1...Just kidding...Or am I?

Time travel is awesome....And useful. That sentence had a typo when I typed it...The first time.