Best 14 quotes of Marty Feldman on MyQuotes

Comedy, like sodomy, is an unnatural act.

He made us laugh, he took my pain away. I love you, Lauretta.

I don't enjoy anything while I'm doing it. I enjoy having done things, though.

I don't know any jokes, which is embarrassing. I wish I did.

I won't eat anything that has intelligent life, but I'd gladly eat a network executive or a politician.

Money can't buy poverty.

Sex is two plus two making five, rather than four. Sex is the X ingredient that you can't define, and it's that X ingredient between two people that make both a man and a woman good in bed. It's all relative. There are no rules.

Too old to die young, and too young to grow up.

You offer a sincere compliment on a great mustache and suddenly she's not your friend.

I loved the idea of seeing myself in print, though I immediately felt vulnerable because my stuff was now open to criticism.

It could be worse... It could be raining

I wanted to be a musician, but again I thought that this was someone who was especially born to be one, a prodigy type of thing, which nobody chose to call me, so therefore I wasn’t one. The trouble is that all these years later I still think this way. I thought that, if I were to pick up an alto sax, that within an hour or so I would be able to play like Charlie Parker, so I will never pick one up, and thus will always have potential. This thing inhibits me from walking on a tightrope. As long as I never do it, I might be the best in the world.

The function of my comedy is not to provide answers, but to postulate questions, impertinent questions and therefore finally, pertinent questions. Not to open doors, merely to unlock them. To not invade the boundaries of probability but stabd a cool guard this side of the boundaries. Somewhere between there's a thesis. To pump up the muscle of dialectic (or in my case Di-Eclectic!) against the brawn of surrealistic solution. I play not Hamlet, but the second gravedigger, not Lear but the fool.

Winning doesn’t interest me terribly, in the sense that in anything I have ever done I have never wanted to be better than anyone else… I was not interested in beating anyone, just in getting better by myself.