Best 92 quotes of Wanda Sykes on MyQuotes

And then also I think it's harder for women because comedy is so opposite of being ladylike.

As a comedian I don't think they look at me as a sexual person but I can see where with actors it would be a little difficult for them because its part of their mystique, it gives them an easier time to change characters and people aren't going oh we have a gay actor, their gay so I don't know if I'm gunna buy this guy with this girl, its weird, I don't think it's fair; it's only done with us, it seems, like they just accept everyone as straight and go along with it and then its oh their gay and make a big deal out of it.

As soon as you say 'I do,' you'll discover that marriage is like a car. Both of you might be sitting in the front seat, but only one of you is driving. And most marriages are more like a motorcycle than a car. Somebody has to sit in the back, and you have to yell just to be heard.

Being gay is harder than being black. I didn't have to come out black. I didn't have to tell my parents about what its like to be black.

But I think funny and talent will always win out; I mean, of course there are hurdles, but I think if you're funny you will get over all of that.

But sometimes the women writers will pitch something and I'll hear it, but the men will keep talking.

Don't bother me while I'm eating, or when I'm coming out of the crackhouse or something. Just let me get going.

Good comics stick around. There are people who have TV shows that might be successful, but comics can't really fake it. If you say, 'Hey, I love what you guys are doing - you're funny,' then you're in. It's legit.

How can you stop people from loving each other? How can you get upset about loving?

I always had one goal, and that was to be a real funny stand-up comic, and that's pretty much what I'm doing. And everything else is kind of like gravy - TV, movies.

I don't like the saying keep your friends close and enemies closer. I want my enemy on a different planet.

I don’t understand why people really get upset about something that doesn’t affect them at all.

I enjoy stand-up because it has the biggest reward: instant gratification. You can hear the people laughing.

I feel today's society is so judgmental.

I felt like I was being attacked, personally attacked - our community was attacked. Now, I gotta get in their face. I'm proud to be a woman. I'm proud to be a black woman. And I'm proud to be gay.

If something stinks, I say it stinks. But I try to massage it a little and not be as cutting, come behind it with a joke: Hey, I cut you deep, but now let me put a couple of stitches in you.

If you feel like there's something out there that you're supposed to be doing, if you have a passion for it, then stop wishing and just do it.

If you have a passion for it, then stop wishing and just do it.

If you're passionate about your work, it makes the people around you want to be involved too.

I guess because of my act, people think that I say things they want to say, and that they can just come up and say anything to me.

I had top-secret clearance and everything. I was working on a couple of projects that would keep me involved in Desert Storm. I was in the mix, which is scary.

I hate when women compare men to dogs. Men are not dogs. Dogs are loyal. I've never found any strange panties in my dog's house.

I have a funny family, but none of them are remotely in show business.

I have a well-balanced show. It's 50/50 on men/women, and also African-American/white writers, it's the same thing. I have four African-American writers, and four non-African-American writers.

I have problems with YouTube and things like that, when you catch it mid production. If I'm doing a show and I'm working on a bit and someone's there with a phone, they record it and put it online - it's not the finished product.

I hope his kidneys fail, how about that? He needs a waterboarding, that's what he needs.

I knew something was wrong with the economy when the shampoo girl at my salon closed on a six bedroom house.

I know every time I fly, I get checked twice: they stop me at security, and then, they get me again at the gate. And last time, it was so bad, they actually made me go through the machine with the luggage.

I like doing a bunch of different things, being all over the place.

I love my family but my family - they're the type of people that never let you forget anything you ever did... I was in the first grade Christmas play - I'm playing Mary. Now, during the course of the play, I dropped the baby Jesus... They still talk about this. I go to my family reunion, and one of my cousins just had a baby. So I'm like, 'Oh, that's a cute little baby. Let me hold the baby...' And my aunt runs over, 'Don't you give her that baby! You know she dropped the baby Jesus!'

I'm a black, gay woman. I think the only way to make the GOP hate me more is if I sent them a video of me rolling around on a pile of welfare checks.

I'm a comedian so I'm not waiting around for someone to write a part for me. I don't have to wait for somebody else to create my next job; I have the ability to basically write my own ticket.

I'm always thinking of stuff; I just don't sit down and write it. I come up with material more as I go along; if something funny happens, I'll make a note of it on my phone.

I'm finally just relaxed and comfortable with who I am.

I'm going to leave The Wanda Sykes Show and try to get her job because $5 million ain't too bad!

I'm here today because I hated everything else.

I'm here today because I refused to be unhappy. I took a chance.

I'm like, If you do something dumb, I'll write about it. If you put something out there, to me it's like you're kind of asking for it.

I'm proud to be a woman. I'm proud to be a black woman, and I'm proud to be gay.

In '87, I used to do this awful, awful James Brown impression.

I noticed recently, in the last few shows I did, that I'm starting to get people - not a large group, but quite a few people - who come to see me because they love Curb Your Enthusiasm.

I really can't pinpoint the one moment when I said I want to be a comic.

I sat down and wrote some jokes and went to the talent show, got up on stage, fell in love with it and never turned back.

I think it's because my comedy is in your face, and it comes from a place that's real.

I think maybe Rush Limbaugh was the 20th hijacker. But he was just so strung out on Oxycontin he missed his flight. Rush Limbaugh, 'I hope the country fails' - I hope his kidneys fail, how about that? ... He needs a waterboarding, that's what he needs.

I think the most difficult thing about coming out is just getting to that place where you're comfortable with who you are and you're sayin' hey this is ok and just accepting yourself and not caring what other people think. Because if you don't have that confidence in who you are then, if things don't go the way you wish that they will, you know if people aren't accepting then they can easily tear you down if you're not prepared and comfortable with who you are.

I think the worst one [indian mascot] is the Cleveland Indians' Big Chief Wahoo. It's just a red face on a baseball with a big, toothy grin. It's the Sambo of all other offensive mascots. I have never seen a Native American smile that hard before, not even at a casino opening.

It's easier to rip somebody to shreds while you're making them laugh.

It seems like when I first started, people got into comedy because they wanted to be good comedians.

It's hard to get fired from the government. You have to, like, kill people.