Best 19 quotes in «funny simpsons quotes» category

But Marge, what if we chose the wrong religion? Each week we just make God madder and madder.

Homer no function beer well without.

Aren't we forgeting the true meaning of Christmas? You know, the birth of Santa.

Guilt, remorse. It's what separates us from the animals.

Art is what separates us from the animals.

Good things don't end in -eum; they end in -mania or -teria.

If it doesn't have siamese twins in a jar, it is not a fair.

I always enjoy conversation more if there is some substance to it - which is a just incredibly hilarious thing for me to say because for many, many years I was the guy whose only contribution to any conversation was, 'There was a funny 'Simpson's' joke about that.'

I thought I had an appetite for destruction, but all I wanted was a club sandwich.

I'm normally not a praying man, but if you're up there, please save me, Superman. Homer Simpson

If something goes wrong at the plant, blame the guy who can't speak English.

I was working on a flat tax proposal and accidentally proved there was no God.

It's not whether you win or lose, it's how you place the blame.

The only monster here is the gambling monster that has enslaved your mother, and I call him Gamblor!

Oh, loneliness and cheeseburgers are a dangerous mix.

Operator! Give me the number for 911!

When a woman says nothing's wrong, that means everything's wrong. And when a woman says everything's wrong, that means everything's wrong! And when a woman says something's not funny, you'd better not laugh your ass off!

Weaseling out of things is important to learn. It's what separates us from the animals... except the weasel.

Vampires are make-believe, like elves, gremlins, and eskimos.