Best 88 quotes in «satirical quotes» category

Good Humor is the best shield against the darts of satirical raillery

You might as well laugh at yourself, everyone else is.

A satirical poet is the check of the laymen on bad priests.

...all disgracers of the press in prose and verse condemned to eat nothing but their own cotton, and quench their thirst with their own ink.

It just happened that the public happened to, uh, appreciate the satirical quality of these crazy things.

You may be witty, but not satirical.

A premature death does not only rob one of the countless instances where one would have experienced pleasure, it also saves one from the innumerable instances where one would have experienced pain.

A seemingly simple task like taking a bath or wearing a condom feels like multitasking to someone who suffers from hemiplegia or has only one hand.

I started out as a writer. Poetry and prose and also kind of satirical David Sedaris-esque stuff.

A maid’s yard, house, wardrobe, fridge, etc. sometimes also serve as her master’s dustbin or dumpsite.

A poet can imagine an iceberg singing a melancholic song while the world leaders find it difficult to imagine proper solution to global warming.

As an unavoidable result of the inevitable loss of some physical and/or some mental abilities, many a man who has been alive for many years has become a boy again.

A truly compassionate man gives a poor woman a portion of his meal before he eats, not after he has eaten.

As we all know, as if forever exploiting or attempting to exploit each other were not enough, a group of sane human beings who have just reached the end of a war against a common enemy of theirs will sooner or later start or continue killing and/or fighting against each other.

Being bored is the price we pay for not being insane.

Being divorced does not necessarily make one’s advice on marriage useless … or useful.

Being rich or famous is the only profound thing that some people have ever said.

Boredom is probably more frequent and more tormenting if you do not have sight or hands.

By drinking, a boy acts like a man. After drinking, many a man acts like a boy.

Famine sometimes increases the number of people who are overweight.

He was just like his father," Vic-toria Guzmán answered her. "A shit.

Getting through life without a lot of money, possessions, and/or friends is admirable, especially if it is by choice.

For a sane person to sincerely be happy that someone has succeeded, they have to either be profiting or likely to profit from that person’s success, or be that person.

He was eager to tell me about his latest work, which consisted of him vomiting on a footpath, then cordoning it off. Each artwork lasted until the first ‘philistine’ thought to take the rope down. ‘In that way, the philistine is drawn – whether he likes it or not – into my art. He becomes part of it…and the vomit part of him. Essentially, it is the cosmic vomit. We all spew it. It blurs the boundaries, subverts the liminal…

If we were not impressed by job titles, suits, and jargon, we would demand that financial advisors show us their personal bank statements before they tell us what we could or should do with our own money.

If the food that one ate the night before were somehow able to be seen and identified through one’s clothes throughout the day, millions of employees would each fast ten or so days before their payday.

Greed is a contagious mental illness without which civilization as we know it would not have been possible.

In reality most human beings are not, to most human beings, more important than money.

In some cases, you can tell how somebody is being treated by their own boss from the way they are treating someone to whom they are a boss.

Love is the worst curse, and greatest blessing ever bestowed upon us humans

Many a death was precipitated by the food, the job, or the medication whose main function was to postpone it.

Many if not most slaves would have each readily jumped, and many if not most slaves would each readily jump, at the opportunity to be a master, if such an opportunity presents or had presented itself.

Millions of sane people would each be sexually attracted to their own parent or child if they were not related to them.

It goes without saying that even those of us who are going to hell will get eternal life—if that territory really exists outside religious books and the minds of believers, that is. Having said that, given the choice, instead of being grilled until hell freezes over, the average sane human being would, needless to say, rather spend forever idling in an extremely fertile garden, next to a lamb or a chicken or a parrot, which they do not secretly want to eat, and a lion or a tiger or a crocodile, which does not secretly want to eat them.

Loneliness tortures many if not most of the elderly more intensely and more frequently than it torments many if not most of us who will never be or have not yet been pushed or pulled into old age.

Many a survivor of a plane crash who is or was against cannibalism and had never eaten human flesh once found themselves in a situation where they had to either eat human flesh, or go the way of all flesh.

Many of the boys and men who are regarded as immature by some females are so deemed merely because they do not want to get married someday … or soon.

More often than not, expecting to lose weight without first losing the diet that made the weight loss necessary is like expecting a pig to be spotless after hosing it down while it was still rolling in mud.

Most human beings would have never been pained by the death of a human being if they had never seen a human being or pretending to be pained by that.

Most of us cling to life as if our existence were a result of our deed or choice.

Most people do kiss and tell; most of them just don’t tell many people.

Most poor people do not really aspire to end poverty; they merely aspire to escape it.

Most sane human beings who have managed to attain and retain fame each uses it to dramatically increase their name’s chances of being remembered until Jesus comes back, since their heart cannot do what they consciously or unconsciously lust for, that is to say, for it to beat until Jesus returns.

Most sane human beings who are over the age of six usually act or react not as per what they genuinely feel or really think but in accordance with the expectations of those around them.

Not a few millions of parents strongly hope that their own children will step in by instantly becoming their own parents’ foster parents, if and when the parents reach their second childhood.

Not everyone who talks less or keeps quiet whenever they are with or around you does that because they find you interesting or knowledgeable; some people do that because they find you boring or ignorant.

Patriotism is the narcissism of countries.

More often than not, an inspirational or motivational speaker is someone who makes money from telling us that we can do all of the things that we can do … and pretty much all of the things that we cannot do.

Most human beings strongly believe that money is way less important than the life of a human being, but in reality five hundred, fifty, or even five dollars are way more important to the lives of most human beings than the lives of most human beings.

Most men would no longer enjoy conversing with most women if they stopped bringing their vaginas along.