Best 45 quotes in «pun quotes» category

Homo Cannot Erectus

I know my rights." "And I know you're wrong.

I was supposed to watch you, yeah. They thought it was weird that Atherton would send his own kid to Hecate, so we wanted to keep an eye on you. No pun intended.” (Archer)

Loki, who put the con in conniving.

It ain't really Czechoslovakian,' I said, coughing. 'We used to call it the Cheque. Like, you drink it up now, you pay for it later.

It is still cheating, even if nobody comes.

People ask me where I got my x-ray powers. I inherited them from my parents in parental supervision. Erase the dots and your doubts if you think that I was 'raysed' alone.

Most social media users sometimes like statements they do not understand.

Pony eyed the pitcher of hot fudge sauce Nellie had placed on the table. “And if you pass that pitcher, I will reveal a nugget of information that will please you and instantly return me to your good goddess graces.” Nellie pushed the pitcher forward. “Spill. Not the fudge sauce. The info.

She challenged me for a game of Scrabble. I did not refuse. How could I? It was like she was telling me – I want to have a word with you.

Puns are just another form of sarcasm, which may or may not make you - smile, giggle, or laugh.

She only modelled for him once,' Max said stubbornly, leaning the canvases back against the wall and replacing the sheet. 'Once, twice or umpteen times, it's proof she knew Spataro... how shall we put it?... on terms a man who loved her might resent.' 'There are lots of artists in Montparnasse, Appelby, and lots of artists' models.' 'I wouldn't like it. And I bet Sir Henry didn't like it either.' 'There was nothing between Corinne and Spataro.' 'That's the problem, isn't it?' Appelby pointed with the stem of his pipe at the shrouded paintings. 'There may have been *literally* nothing between them.

So one might say that music killed him, that he was felled by music. It's a theory. String theory.

So what? Who gives a shit who’s banging who?” “Whom,” Jaila said. “What?” “Who’s banging whom.” Tino tensed. “I don’t need a fucking grammar lesson.

So where were we?” “I was stepping back,” he says, “and you were chastising me for it.” I chuckle. “Ah yes. So, shall I take matters into my own hands, or do you have the proper tool for the job?” I kiss his palm and then glance down at the lump in his towel. “Well, miss.” His voice has a slight southern twang. “A skilled lawman knows how to choose the right tool for the job, and that—” He motions with his head, “—is not the one I plan to use right now. Sorry to disappoint.” “I hate it when you get cocky.

Stop your idiocy, Sandra, please. For once in your death.

Not to pun at all would be more challenging than most people might imagine.

The zoo lost its elephant again. It never forgets where to go. I found it in the middle of my room.

Thatsh prieshts for you,” said the old man wetly. “Nothing by torc, torc, torc.

The greatest irony is that people with Rolodexes are no longer LinkedIn. And if that pun doesn't make sense, don’t ask anyone in your Rolodex to explain it.

Three,' reckoned the captain, 'ourselves make seven, counting Hawkins, here. Now, about honest hands?' Most likely Trelawney's own men," said the doctor; 'those he had picked up for himself, before he lit on Silver.' Nay,' replied the squire. 'Hands was one of mine.' I did think I could have trusted Hands,' added the captain.

When we were little," the Mock Turtle went on at last, more calmly, though still sobbing a little now and then, "we went to school in the sea. The master was an old Turtle - we used to call him Tortoise -" "Why did you call him Tortoise, if he wasn't one?" Alice asked. "We called him Tortoise because he taught us," said the Mock Turtle angrily: "really you are very dull!

What happened when the Verb asked the noun to conjugate? She said "no-no!", forgot the "o" and decided to become a nun!

Would I laugh?" "Matter of fact, you would," says Zeb. "Heart like shale. What you need is a good fracking.

What did the soup say to the tea plate? "You're too shallow for me. I like deep dish to dip right into!" I still keep my British humour in good taste. No room for egos or rumours.

For one thing, I don’t pun excessively in real life.

Delightful, tragic, gloriously elegiac and riddled with puns-Close to Hugh is just like life, only so much more beautiful for being art.

I feel that I am entitled to trample all other considerations into the dirt in my pursuit of a satisfying pun.

I like the old wisdom--puns, riddles, spells, proverbs.

I'll take Shadowhunter, then. Because from what I've experienced of vampires, you mostly suck. No pun intended.

I'm shameless, and I love a pun. There's a lot of Beth puns.

I hate puns. And, I'm tired of pardoning them.

Puns are the droppings of soaring wits.

Maybe because English is my second language, maybe I just translate mundane clichés from the Welsh language and they sound original in English. I am going through a bit of an obsession with bad puns. I am hoping I'll grow out of it. Maybe it's just a phase.

In person, if possible, Anubis was even more drop-dead gorgeous. [Oh . . . ha, ha. I didn't catch the pun, but thank you, Carter. God of the dead, drop-dead gorgeous. Yes, hilarious. Now, may I continue?]

The Good and Great must ever shun That reckless and abandoned one Who stoops to perpetrate a pun.

What does Karl Marx put on his pasta? Communist Manipesto!

What I'm going for with the string arrangements for my Antarctic symphony is a pun here.

Anyway, I’m a bit worried about the screw. It was invented to move water along, not move along on water.’ ‘You mean it’s confused?’ said Simony. ‘Screwed up,’ said Didactylos happily.

Big Bertie’s sweet and tangy Hawaiian BBQ Sauce,” she said, caressing the bottle, “is guaranteed to get you lei’d

Do you know why they call this place the Rookery?" Elodin asked. I shook my head. "Because it's where you go if you're a-ravin'." He smiled a wild smile. He laughed a terrible laugh.

Denial isn't just a river in Egypt.

Every swamp has a silted lining.

Et tout rentra dans l'ordre, pourtant déjà bien plein.

Brody's not gay. But then he kisses a boy. So he might be gay? No, Brody's not gay. But he loves this boy. So after much delaying, debating, and waiting, the answer comes clear...nothing is ever perfectly straight. It's slash.