Best 31 quotes in «asshole quotes» category

So are there any asshole guys here I can start dating?' she says. 'That's, like, my pattern.

To lose a worthless friend is worthy of a testimony.

So is this, like, dynamite?” “It’s HMX compounded with three percent polymer-bonded explosive composite,” Cindy says … “Did you say that all extra technical to make me feel like an asshole” Moon asks. “Mm-hmmm.

Sometimes being a nice person is all about knowing when to be an asshole.

They all said the way to a man’s heart was through his asshole.

To speak a language that was as intimate and free as certain dreams, saying darkly, thrillingly, My cock inside of you. Your come in my mouth ... He focused on the boy’s slim, tight hips; with the tip of his tongue he tasted an asshole’s bitter, forbidden mystery.

. . . the only way to tell off an asshole was face-to-face and to look fantastic doing it. So, here she was, with perfect makeup, hair done in a riot of waves that had taken a ridiculously long time to create, and a brand new screw you and the horse you rode in on dress laid out on her bed.

Wanting to end my curse isn't the same as wanting to give in to an asshole. I don't care if god really did choose you. You're no worthier than any of the rest of us. No worthier than him. We're all god's monsters. All made in his goddamn image. If he wants his fucking world back . . . tell him to come down here and take it. If he's got the goddamn balls.

You got no business coming in here and playing the asshole.’ ‘I am an asshole, Sully. We haven’t even scraped the surface yet.

You've invaded my erotic dojo. For this your assholes will adorn my thunderous cock like jewelry!

Why?' He asked. 'Why what?' What could I say? Noah, despite you being an asshole, or maybe because of it, I'd like to rip off your clothes and have your babies. Don't tell.

Am I an asshole? In the past, I would have said "no" with some degree of confidence. But as I drop my bag of groceries into my bike pack under the store's front awning, I have to consider that the answer might have changed during the past few months. They say misery loves company. I think I get it now. That back there with Marley--taunting her, I admit--that shit was the best part of my day. My week. My month. That shit was the rainbow in a fucking black and white film. The outrage on her face... Goddamn. I fucking loved her angry, bright red face. When I turned to walk away, she looked mad enough to spit bullets. All over a fucking pack of pork chops. As I zip my bag, I press my lips together--to suppress a wicked chuckle. Asshole. I'm not sure I even mind it. Why not be an asshole? Nice guys come in last--another adage I'm starting to believe. I've played it nice my whole damn life, or fucking tried. Why not seek out entertainment now?

You're an asshole, you know that, Haller?" I nodded and headed back to the door. "When I need to be.

Don’t be an asshole. Just because you have one, it doesn’t mean it’s okay to act like it.

Happy to say you passed the sobriety test. Sad to say you failed the asshole test.

Because people are assholes," said Bear, dutifully keeping his head down. "Ninety percent of all problems are caused by people being assholes.

He could be so charming and irreverent and witty, and then-bam!-a switch flipped and he reverted right back to the cocky asshole everyone reported him to be.

Everyone is destined to be an asshole as some point or another.

He's not god! He's just the asshole who fucks with us.

cos the one thing that’s better than sharing love is sharing the feeling of oh shove it you asshole.

I can't believe you cheated!" "I can't believe you didn't know it. Man, what kind of got are you? I never knew stupidity had a divine representative. Guess I was wrong, huh?" "You're such an asshole." -Phobos & Diemos

I can't believe you cheated!" I can't believe you didn't know it. Man, what kind of god are you? I never knew stupidity had a divine representative. Guess I was wrong, huh?" "You're such an asshole." -Phobos & Diemos

I didn’t need to be a writer to know that I could. Did you have to become a penis to act like a dick?

I can melt steel, fucker, I'll microwave your guts and punch them our your asshole.

I considered sex work, but then I bent over and looked at my asshole in a mirror. Nobody was going to pay me for access to that thing.

I didn't really expect you to have an appropriate response," Renaire says simply, taking a moment to tap ash off the tip of his cigarette. He'd hoped, yes, but never expected, not really. "I came to terms with the fact you're a possessive, self-important asshole with a superiority complex a long time ago." "Somehow, that's reassuring," Delaurier says.

If no one should not ask with you anything. Then for what the fuck purpose you raised question with me..

Pride is born as a mountaintop on a valley, but dies as an abyss in which it is too deep and too dark to see the better.

L’uomo è un incauto infelice e insoddisfatto coglione. Un coglione che non s’accorge di esserlo. Quando sta bene fa di tutto per rendersi la vita amara.

No, madam,' I said to the woman in my ESL English. "That's my mom. I came out her asshole and I love her very much. I am seven. Next year I will be eight. I'm doing fine."... You believed, like many Vietnamese mothers, that to speak of female genitalia, especially between mothers adn sons, is considered taboo- so when talking about birth, you always mentioned that I had come out of your anus. You would playfully slap my head and say,'This huge noggin nearly tore up my asshole!

Pain was as much a part of this life as the summer and the winter and the rain, and there was no greater asshole than the one who believed you can cure it.