Best 14 quotes in «gallows humor quotes» category

The dead, Your Honor, do not agonize over their crimes and do not long to be happy, as you know.

Often eating took considerable extra time, since he could hardly see his food, groping with a fork or spoon, enforcedly omnivorous. "Blind men wear spotted pants," Dorothy teased, telling him to wash his...

We're suicidal, not innumerate.

Any port in a storm.

Was it tacky to get a cake during a hostage crisis? What was the protocol? She pictured chocolate frosting with white lettering: HAPPY BIRTHDAY, HOPE YOUR DAUGHTER ISN’T DEAD. But this year was her fiftieth, a year with a zero. Veronica had to do something. So on her way to the condo she’d swung by a bakery and picked up a small German chocolate cake. It was her mom’s favorite—or at least it had been, a decade ago.

Was it tacky to get a cake during a hostage crisis? What was the protocol? She pictured chocolate frosting with white lettering: HAPPY BIRTHDAY, HOPE YOUR DAUGHTER ISN’T DEAD. But this year was her fiftieth, a year with a zero. Veronica had to do something. So on her way to the condo she’d swung by a bakery and picked up a small German chocolate cake. It was her mom’s favorite—or at least it had been, a decade ago.-page 218 of The Thousand Dollar Tan Line

Fell?' he asked. 'Or was pushed?' Anton shrugged again. 'It hardly makes a difference,' he said, 'when you are the man at the bottom of the stairs.

Certainty. Life's last and kindest gift.

I'd like a break. I'm forty-six, so the undertow is beginning to get to me." "Then what are you good for?" she asked, in a kind tone. "Oh, a man around the house has his uses. A dildo; an ear to talk to; two arms around you; a voice from the next room when you're lonesome." "I have a dog to talk to." "That might be a deal killer.

I hammered on the Poes' front door like Alaric on the gates of Rome. Poe said that a gaudy figure of speech was a silk cravat around a dirty neck. He didn't say whether the truth lay in the plain thing or in its fancy.

I hope I died honorably. I have a great deal to atone for. - Eler Nersal

I read a report that said 88% of adults trust their doctors - well, 100% of dead people don't!

I kept a picture of me kissing my dad’s corpse on the forehead in my wallet for years. I’d break it out any time someone showed me a baby picture, just so they would know how it ends.

Live, die, something else lives. The very soil humanity walks upon is built up from death. Digging into a flowerbed means digging into bones.