Best 37 quotes of Kimberly Giles on MyQuotes

All bad behavior is really a request for love, attention, or validation.

At this very moment you are probably basing your value on how other people value you, even though most of the time, you don’t even know what these people really think. You are assuming what they think based on behavior you interpreted. In truth, most people don’t think about you at all. They are too focused on their own stuff. And if they do think about you, they probably don’t think what you think they think. You are most likely projecting your own fears of not being good enough onto them. What you think they think tells you more about your own opinion of yourself than theirs.

Be a good person, do good things, learn, and love other people, but do these things because you love yourself, God, life and people, not because you fear going to hell if you don’t. Keep the commandments (or whatever tenets you believe) because you want to be happy. Do it for you. God and the universe will unconditionally love you no matter which path you choose. You can learn whatever lessons you choose for yourself. If you want to learn things the hard way and experience fear, guilt and shame that is okay. But nothing you do (or don’t do) can separate you from love.

Encouragement is the most effective way to change someone’s behavior. When you see the best in them you encourage them to become that and they will want to live up to your high opinion of them.

Every day is a grand adventure into the great unknown and you cannot know what lies around the next corner. So, standing in this place, with the unknown before you, you have only two choices: you can live in trust (believing you are safe and that good things are coming) or you can live in fear (scared of the future and focused on you). Your choice will not change what’s around that next corner, it will be what it’s meant to be, but it will have a big impact on the way you feel today. Do you want to experience today in fear, focused on yourself? Or do you want to experience trust and focus on love? It’s up to you.

Failures, mistakes, and difficulties are just locations on your journey through life. They have nothing to do with who you are.

Fear causes problems in your life because it fogs the lens through which you see yourself and your world.

Fear has to be the opposite of God because it is the opposite of love. Fear is selfish, needy and focused on you. It makes no sense for God to want you in fear about Him or your life. It comes down to this: either God wants you to live in fear of Him, always afraid you aren’t good enough and focused on yourself, or He wants you to live in love, knowing you are safe, and focused on loving other people. Which feels more accurate to you?

I believe the higher power in the universe is compassionate, understanding, and all-knowing, and that there is nothing you can do that will change His love for you. I believe God’s love for you is infinite and absolute, and your value as an irreplaceable, unique, one-of-a-kind, divine soul is infinite and absolute too, because it is based in God’s love for you. Does this make sense to you, the way it does to me? I believe this is truth. I believe your value is not on the line; that your value is literally absolute and unchangeable. You have the same infinite value no matter what you do or don’t do. I believe you are a perfect and divine creation and as such your value is secure forever, no matter how many mistakes (driven by fear and misconception) you make down here. I believe God understands that your mistakes are part of your learning process. Mistakes teach you beautiful and important lessons. It makes no sense to condemn you for being lost, confused, scared and stupid down here, when for the most part we all are. We are doing the best we can with what we know, but we don’t know enough and are no where close to perfect. I believe God wants you to keep learning and growing, but that He loves you and accepts you as you are right now.

If life is a classroom then you’re still in the learning process part. In the learning process part, if you make a mistake you can just erase it and try again. In a classroom your mistakes deserve course correction and education, not punishment. Here the goal is to teach you how to behave better, not to fail or get rid of you. In a classroom, you can be a work in progress, and that’s okay. In a classroom, you are free to make mistakes in order to learn, because mistakes are part of learning. There are still consequences to every choice, but in a classroom you can’t fail, because your value isn’t on the line. If life is a classroom, you have the same value no matter how much you struggle, how many mistakes you make or how you perform. If life is a classroom you are safe.

If you do good things only because you fear punishment or rejection if you don’t, does it really count? Think about it. Are they real choices or are you being held hostage?

If you don’t consciously choose trust and love in each moment, your subconscious policies will choose for you, and they usually choose fear.

If you spend your energy condemning and judging the people who mistreat you it puts you in a condemning and judging mindset, which subconsciously makes you feel condemned and judged too. The more judgmental you are, the worse your self-esteem will be.

I have worked with many people over the years who struggled with basically hopeless problems – negative situations that for the most part could not be fixed or changed. In these situations there was always one very powerful thing they could change. They could change their perspective. They could make a fundamental change in how they saw themselves and their lives, and this always made the situation more bearable.

I say this because all religions, accurately understood, will take away your fear of not being enough. I believe there is a way to understand the tenets of your religion, right now, that will take away your fear and make you feel loved and safe. The problem is that no matter what you believe or to which religion you belong, there are two ways you can experience your beliefs. There is a fear way you can experience your religion, and a love way to experience it. All religions can be experienced both ways. All life philosophies can be experienced both ways too. If you search your personal books of scripture, you will find both ideas equally represented. There will be verses or sections that validate a fear-based view of God and there will be some that validate a love-based view of God. Don’t be confused by this. Both ideas had to be represented for you to have free agency. Anything less than equal representation of each idea would take away your freedom to choose.

It is important you understand how fear affects you and how it drives human behavior so you can start to see situations and people accurately and respond more appropriately. When someone is behaving badly, attacking you, or being defensive, critical, or judgmental, it is not really about you. Fear is the real reason people behave badly. Their fears make them selfish, defensive, mean, and grouchy. Every time someone is behaving badly, step back and ask yourself, “What is this person afraid of? What fear inside me is driving my reaction to their attack? What am I afraid of?” When you can accurately see the fear behind their behavior, and yours, you will see the situation for what it really is.

Most bad behavior is about that person’s core fears about themselves; it is rarely about you.

Most people spend the majority of their lives in fear, focused on themselves, casting everyone around them as bad guys. They almost can’t help it, because it happens subconsciously and they don’t know any other way to be. When you understand that most human behavior is driven by fear, you will understand why people hurt or offend you. You will understand it isn’t about you at all. Their bad behavior is caused by their fear of failure and loss.

Most people think that once they lose the weight or make more money they will finally feel good about them themselves, but they are usually disappointed when they get there to find they don’t feel better. This happens because real self-worth can’t be earned. Real self-worth comes from understanding the truth about who you are and understanding that your value is infinite and absolute no matter what. This is the only way to peace.

No one can repair your self-esteem for you. Your spouse cannot fix it. Your parents cannot fix it. Your boss cannot fix it. No amount of success or beauty enhancements can fix it. You have to fix it by changing the way you see yourself. You have to choose to see yourself accurately, to see life as a classroom, and commit to the policy that you have the same value no matter how you perform. It is time to claim the power to do this and not let anyone take your self-esteem from you again.

Real forgiveness is about fundamentally changing the way you see a situation. It is about clearing away the fog of fear and seeing the situation and the people involved accurately. It means acknowledging that there is really nothing to forgive because you are bulletproof and can’t be diminished anyway. It means seeing this experience as a lesson, embracing what it is here to teach you, and choosing to be more loving toward yourself and others.

Remember every mistreatment experience shows up to give you the opportunity to learn love at a deeper level. You don’t need to defend yourself because you cannot be diminished. You must understand that defensiveness doesn't protect you. It actually makes you feel more vulnerable and unsafe. In protecting yourself you are embracing the idea that you can be hurt and this will only create more fear in your life. If you embrace fear and judgment you are choosing to live in fear and judgment. If you choose to let go of the need to protect and defend yourself and put down your defenses because you understand you cannot be hurt - you will actually feel safer. When you choose to feel bulletproof, infinite and absolute all the time, no defense is ever necessary.

The most significant way you can edify another person is to see them accurately as the same as you, listen to them, and honor their right to their own thoughts and feelings.

The purpose and point of this life is to learn and love – and it may be more specifically to learn to love.

The reason you might not be creating the life you want is that you are making most of your decisions unconsciously, and most of your subconscious policies (programs and rules) are fear-based and inaccurate. These inaccurate policies are sabotaging your success, because they don’t want the very things you think you consciously want.

The universe uses every experience you have to help you grow and learn. No experience is wasted. Every choice you make and everything that happens to you because of other people’s choices become your perfect lessons. As you learn to trust this truth, you will experience less fear and more peace.

The universe will never force a mindset on you. You have complete free agency to choose fear and suffer unnecessarily if you want to.

The world needs people who have survived mistakes, tragedies, and trials to help the rest of us through. Where would we be if Victor Frankl had never experienced what he did during the war? He wouldn’t have used his experiences to benefit millions of people around the world. The world needs you to let go of self-pity and shame regarding your life experiences, too. The world needs you to use the things you have learned for good. Stop letting your past mistakes define you and affect your value. Let go of separation and victimhood and find meaning in what you have been through.

This is the bottom line, you have no absolute proof of God’s existence, and therefore no real proof of His true nature, this being the case, you get to choose how you want to experience God. This is not only your right, but is an essential part of your free agency. You get to choose how you want to experience everything in your life. So, you could choose to see God (the higher power in the universe) as the pure essence of perfect love if you want to. You have this power to see God as your safest place.

When a person feels appreciated for their infinite and absolute value, you can then communicate about any issue and you will have their cooperation and respect.

When you experience the clarity that comes when you choose trust and love, you can see other people accurately – as the same as you.

You are an irreplaceable, one-of-a-kind, amazing being. There will never be another you and this fact alone makes you infinitely and absolutely valuable. Having absolute value means you cannot be diminished by anything or anyone. You are bulletproof and nothing can change your value.

You might be unsure about the true nature of God (or the life force in the universe) even if you have well defined religious beliefs. I say this because you might have been taught two conflicting ideas about God. You might have been consciously told God was love, but at the same time been subconsciously taught He might condemn you if you aren’t good enough. These two ideas don’t mesh and they cause a great deal of confusion for most people.

Your happiness does not depend on your situation or your results; it depends on how you choose to think about yourself, your situation, and your results.

Your life will always be the perfect classroom journey for you and every experience that shows up in your journey is here to serve you. There is meaning and purpose behind everything that happens. There are no accidents which means your suffering through difficulties is never for nothing. Your life matters and everything you experience matters. Your trials are there to help you become a better person and trusting this is truth will take some of the sting out of them. Suffering becomes more bearable if it at least counts for something.

Your number one task here is forgiving yourself and the people who mistreat you. You must learn to do this if you want to experience real happiness and peace in this life. You must do this if you want to feel accepted, valued and safe. The only way to feel innocent and worthy – is to give it to other people. That is just how it works.

You will have the ability to see other people accurately as divine, amazing, irreplaceable, human beings in the process, just like you. You will have the ability to forgive them and live in wisdom and compassion. You can do this because all of these qualities are in you. In fact, they are who you really are.