Best 17 quotes of Mira Kirshenbaum on MyQuotes

Mira Kirshenbaum

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    Mira Kirshenbaum

    Another way to put an end to self-rejection is ask yourself whether what you're telling yourself is what a friend would say, or what an enemy would. Friends are supportive. Enemies put us down and undermine our confidence. So if you say something that an enemy would say, stop. Answer back, 'I'm going to be supportive of myself. As a friend, what I have to say to myself is . . .' Then say something supportive.

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    Mira Kirshenbaum

    But when you personalize your life, when you make your life a place where you can be yourself, when you do things the way you want to do them, your life feels like your home. And that is a tremendous source of emotional energy.

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    Mira Kirshenbaum

    Just as physical energy comes from diet, exercise and rest, emotional energy comes from the ways you take care of yourself emotionally -- living in a way that makes you feel inspired, hopeful, self-confident, playful, loving and in touch with what you care about most.

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    Mira Kirshenbaum

    Love is richest, most genuine, and most long lasting when you focus on being yourself and doing everything you can to make it possible for the other person to be him- or herself.

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    Mira Kirshenbaum

    Things happen to help you get rid of the parts of yourself that aren't you; to help you be more real and more yourself, not like everyone else; to help you lead a more authentic life; and ultimately to help you discover who you really are.

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    Mira Kirshenbaum

    Your emotional energy only cares about how successful you are at being yourself.

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    Mira Kirshenbaum

    Discovering a hidden talent is actually a very big deal. It can save your life, as it did for my mother. It can save your emotional life, giving you the hope and energy to go on, as it did for Josie. It can save the life of the real you, the part of you that's special.

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    Mira Kirshenbaum

    I can see every day that a squirrel's perfectly at home in a world of trees. But imagine taking that squirrel and plunking him down in the middle of the desert. This wonderful animal will suddenly feel depressed, anxious, confused, completely at a loss. There are plenty of animals who make a home in the desert, but not the squirrel. There's nothing really wrong with that downcast squirrel in the desert. He's perfect. But he's only perfect when he's at home, in a place with lots of trees. In the desert a squirrel is an unhappy misfit. Now imagine doing something stupid: taking that squirrel to a therapist so he'll feel better... You could do squirrel therapy forever but as long as the squirrel's in the desert, he's going to be miserable. But if you just pick him up and bring him to a place with trees, now he's at home and he's happy. There are so many people who are miserable because they are squirrels in the desert. They think there's something wrong with them. They endlessly try to fix themselves but the fixing doesn't work. Yet they keep trying because it's hard to face the ways they're not at home in the world. And yet how simple it would be if they could see there's nothing wrong with who they are, there's just something wrong with where they are. But they can feel more at home than they ever imagined. They just have to look for ways that events in their lives are showing them the way home.

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    Mira Kirshenbaum

    If you've been fortunate enough to discover that the meaning of what happened to you is that you have something far more to offer than you ever imagined, you have to offer it. Bring it out of yourself and into the world. This isn't easy. It takes trial and error. You might find obstacles to discovering how an artistic talent can best be expressed, for example. Just remember that certainty you felt inside about how you were special. That's real. You have to let it see the light by doing something with it. And don't give up until you do.

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    Mira Kirshenbaum

    If you've been fortunate enough to discover that the meaning of what happened to you is that you have something far more to offer than you ever imagines, you have to offer it. Bring it out of yourself and into the world. This isn't easy. It takes trial and error. You might find obstacles to discovering how an artistic talent can best be expressed, for example. Just remember that certainty you felt inside about how you were special. That's real. You have to let it see the light by doing something with it. And don't give up until you do.

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    Mira Kirshenbaum

    It was always to free up some part of themselves that never would've come to light. Now they could burst free. And this part of themselves that was freed pointed directly toward where they would feel at home in the world.

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    Mira Kirshenbaum

    Knowing there's a reason for what happens also saves us from being filled with blame.

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    Mira Kirshenbaum

    Now here's the good part. It was the part where Monica told me was the reason her life had seemed to collapse. It was to give her what she needed so she'd didn't feel incomplete and unfulfilled anymore.

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    Mira Kirshenbaum

    Some people are able to forgive when they realize that the other person just couldn't help it, because he or she was sick, damaged, or limited somehow. Some people find forgiveness when they realize the other person has suffered more than they have. We also find forgiveness when we realize the other person has suffered enough, even if he or she hasn't suffered more than we have. We forgive when we realize we're safe now. We forgive when we realize that we don't want to be the kind of person who doesn't forgive. We forgive when the other person makes up for what he or she has done. But perhaps the most important reason is that when we don't forgive, we're the ones who are hurt the most.

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    Mira Kirshenbaum

    There are many paths you can follow to forgiveness. that was one: Understand that your present is different from your past. Here's another: Focus on how it's hurt you not to forgive yourself and on what you need to be safe.

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    Mira Kirshenbaum

    Think about your story in a new way,' the wise person says. 'You've been thinking of it as a loss. Now think of it as a liberation. What happened to you--it actually freed you up. And it didn't just free you up any old way. It freed you from some dead weight of the past so you could find a new home that would bring life to some part of you, maybe the best part of you.

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    Mira Kirshenbaum

    What do you need to give me what I need?"... You're negotiating with your teenager not because you're a wimp, or because you're afraid of her, or because you don't care. No, you're negotiating with your teenager because imposing rules makes bad relationships worse, while negotiating solutions makes good relationships better.