Best 4 quotes of Jonathan Acuff on MyQuotes

....And then you get some jerk for a boss. And you think, 'I wish God was my boss. That would be awesome. He wouldn't care about my sales sheet. He would care about my soul sheet.' Then you feel a little embarrassed because that was such a low-quality joke.

Conversations, much like Saturday Night Live skits, are often difficult to end.

Pastors are starting to get wily. When people tell my friend, 'I'm not being fed,' he replies, 'I'm prefectly happy to spoon feed my one-year-old. But if I'm still spoon-feeding him when he's five, we've got a problem. Here's a fork. Feed yourself.

That's why I always keep a handful of silver glitter in my pockets. If I get pushed into a conversational corner I throw the glitter into the air, and while the person I'm talking to is distracted, I run away. An additional benefit is that I look like a cool magician, so I've got that going for me.