Best 5 quotes of Jack Handy on MyQuotes

If you're in a war, instead of throwing a hand grenade at the enemy, throw one of those small pumpkins. Maybe it'll make everyone think how stupid war is, and while they are thinking, you can throw a real grenade at them.

If you think a weakness can be turned into a strength, I hate to tell you this, but that's another weakness.

I hope life isn't a big joke, because I don't get it.

It takes a big man to cry, but it takes a bigger man to laugh at that man.

Sometimes I think the world has gone completely mad. And then I think, "Aw, who cares?" And then I think, "Hey, what's for supper?