Best 80 quotes of W. S. Gilbert on MyQuotes

W. S. Gilbert

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    W. S. Gilbert

    After many unhappy experiments in the direction of an ideal Republic, it was found that what may be described as a Despotism tempered by Dynamite provides, on the whole, the most satisfactory description of ruler - an autocrat who dares not abuse his autocratic power.

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    W. S. Gilbert

    Ah, pray no mistake, We are not shy; We're very wide awake The Moon and I.

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    W. S. Gilbert

    And that singular anomaly, the lady novelist-- I don't think she'd be missed--I'm sure she'd not be missed!

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    W. S. Gilbert

    A popular speaker, however unpopular and insignificant, has only to wind up his speech with half-a-dozen lines of Shakespeare (and to make it clearly understood that they are Shakespeare's) and he will sit down amid thunders of applause.

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    W. S. Gilbert

    As is gloriously sung in the Gilbert and Sullivan operetta "H.M.S. Pinafore," in the words of W. S. Gilbert: "Things are seldom as they seem, Skim milk masquerades as cream.

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    W. S. Gilbert

    Bind up their wounds - but look the other way.

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    W. S. Gilbert

    Bless your heart, they don't mind--they're exceedingly kind-- They don't blame you--as long as you're funny!

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    W. S. Gilbert

    Bow, bow, ye lower middle classes! Bow, bow, ye tradesmen, bow, ye masses!

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    W. S. Gilbert

    Deerstalking would be a very fine sport if only the deer had guns.

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    W. S. Gilbert

    every Jack He must study the knack If he wants to make sure of his Jill!

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    W. S. Gilbert

    Faint heart never won fair lady! Nothing venture, nothing win Blood is thick, but water's thin In for a penny, in for a pound It's Love that makes the world go 'round!

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    W. S. Gilbert

    He did nothing in particular, and did it very well.

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    W. S. Gilbert

    He led his regiment from behind. He found it less exciting.

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    W. S. Gilbert

    I accept refreshment at any hands, however lowly.

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    W. S. Gilbert

    I always voted at my party's call, and I never thought of thinking for myself at all.

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    W. S. Gilbert

    I am a courtier grave and serious Who is about to kiss your hand: Try to combine a pose imperious With a demeanour nobly bland.

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    W. S. Gilbert

    I am, in point of fact, a particularly haughty and exclusive person, of pre-Adamite ancestral descent. You will understand this when I tell you that I can trace my ancestry back to a protoplasmal primordial atomic globule.

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    W. S. Gilbert

    I am the Captain of the Pinafore ; And a right good captain too! . . . . And I'm never, never sick at sea! What, never? No, never! What never? Hardly ever! He's hardly ever sick at sea! Then give three cheers, and one cheer more, For the hardy Captain of the Pinafore!

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    W. S. Gilbert

    I am the very model of a modern Major-General, I've information vegetable, animal, and mineral, I know the kings of England, and I quote the fights historical, From Marathon to Waterloo, in order categorical.

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    W. S. Gilbert

    I am the very model of a modern major general

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    W. S. Gilbert

    If I can wheedle A knife or a needle, Why not a Silver Churn?

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    W. S. Gilbert

    If the jests that you crack have an orthodox smack, You may get a bland smile from these sages; But should it, by chance, be imported from France, Half-a-crown is stopped out of your wages!

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    W. S. Gilbert

    If you give me your attention, I will tell you what I am: I'm a genuine philanthropist--all other kinds are sham. Each little fault of temper and each social defect In my erring fellow creatures, I endeavor to correct.

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    W. S. Gilbert

    If you're anxious to shine in the high aesthetic line as a man of culture rare, you must get up all the germs of the transcendental terms, and plant them everywhere.

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    W. S. Gilbert

    If your master is surly, from getting up early (And tempers are short in the morning), An inopportune joke is enough to provoke Him to give you, at once, a month's warning.

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    W. S. Gilbert

    I know everybody's income and what everybody earns, And I carefully compare it with the income-tax returns

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    W. S. Gilbert

    I love my fellow creatures - I do all the good I can - yet everybody says I'm such a disagreeable man!

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    W. S. Gilbert

    I'm very good at integral and differential calculus, I know the scientific names of beings animalculous; In short, in matters vegetable, animal, and mineral, I am the very model of a modern Major-General.

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    W. S. Gilbert

    In all the woes that curse our race there is a lady in the case.

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    W. S. Gilbert

    In short, whoever you may be, To this conclusion you'll agree, When every one is somebodee, Then no one's anybody!

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    W. S. Gilbert

    In the discovery of secret things and in the investigation of hidden causes, stronger reasons are obtained from sure experiments and demonstrated arguments than from probable conjectures and the opinions of philosophical speculators of the common sort.

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    W. S. Gilbert

    I often think it's comical How Nature always does contrive That every boy and every gal That's born into the world alive Is either a little Liberal Or else a little Conservative!

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    W. S. Gilbert

    I see no objection to stoutness, in moderation.

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    W. S. Gilbert

    I shall carry to the Catacombs of Age, Photographically lined On the tablet of my mind

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    W. S. Gilbert

    It is a glorious thing To be a Pirate King.

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    W. S. Gilbert

    It isn't so much what's on the table that matters, as what's on the chairs.

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    W. S. Gilbert

    It's love that makes the world go round.

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    W. S. Gilbert

    It's true I've got no shirts to wear; It's true my butcher's bill is due; It's true my prospects all look blue - But don't let that unsettle you.

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    W. S. Gilbert

    I've an irritating chuckle, I've a celebrated sneer, I've an entertaining snigger, I've a fascinating leer; To everybody's prejudice I know a thing or two; I can tell a woman's age in half a minute--and I do

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    W. S. Gilbert

    Let the punishment fit the crime.

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    W. S. Gilbert

    Life's perhaps the only riddle That we shrink from giving up.

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    W. S. Gilbert

    Life's a pudding full of plums.

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    W. S. Gilbert

    Love, unrequited, robs me of my rest: Love, hopeless love, my ardent soul encumbers: Love, nightmare-like, lies heavy on my chest, And weaves itself into my midnight slumbers!

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    W. S. Gilbert

    Man is nature's sole mistake.

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    W. S. Gilbert

    Merely corroborative detail, intended to give artistic verisimilitude to an otherwise bald and unconvincing narrative.

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    W. S. Gilbert

    My family pride is something inconceivable. I can't help it. I was born sneering.

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    W. S. Gilbert

    My object all sublime I shall achieve in time- To let the punishment fit the crime- The punishment fit the crime.

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    W. S. Gilbert

    No good play is a success; fine writing and high morals are useless on the stage. I have been scribbling twaddle for thirty-five years to suit the public taste, and I should know.

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    W. S. Gilbert

    Oh! a private buffoon is a light-hearted loon, If you listen to popular rumour; From morning to night he's so joyous and bright, And he bubbles with wit and good humour!

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    W. S. Gilbert

    Oh, don't the days seem lank and long When all goes right and nothing goes wrong, And isn't your life extremely flat With nothing whatever to grumble at!