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By AnonymElizabeth Scott
And now I see what has been there all along, what I've noticed but never truly understood until now. Eli is as uncertain as I am, as we all are. Life has surprised him like it has me. Has hurt him like it has me.
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By AnonymElizabeth Scott
And what if---what are you if the people who are supposed to love you can leave you like you're nothing?
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By AnonymElizabeth Scott
And yet here I am. Broken and bleeding on the inside, heartsick, I am here.
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By AnonymElizabeth Scott
And you… do you know what you are?” “Stupid?” “Beautiful,” he says, his face turning red.
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By AnonymElizabeth Scott
Anger can try to break your heart, but sorrow is what will. What can. What does.
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By AnonymElizabeth Scott
..."Are you okay?" he says, still looking at me, and I feel my smile slip, fade, and the silence that falls over us then is so total I can’t hear anything, not the rush-hiss of my heart pounding in my chest, not the sounds all around us; insects, wind, and the distant clatter of others’ lives in houses built close but not too close because when we look out our windows we all like to pretend that everything we see is ours. But Ryan is not mine.
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By AnonymElizabeth Scott
Are you reading?" I say. It's not that I don't think Finn can read or anything, but it's just - well, not what I expected to see. I figured Finn spent his time doing whatever it is guys who aren't Josh do when they aren't in school. Burping, or something. "Try not to look so surprised," Finn says. "I read. I can count to ten. Sometimes I can even spell my own name.
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By AnonymElizabeth Scott
But the past couple of days I’ve missed you so much it’s felt like missing you is all I am.
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By AnonymElizabeth Scott
Cute" is one of those words people use when they know you're smart enough to realize "you've got so much personality" means "you're ugly.
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By AnonymElizabeth Scott
Darling, the world doesn't owe you anything.
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By AnonymElizabeth Scott
Do you really think he was flirting with me?" "Let's see. He gave you candy you hate - I saw your face - and a CD of songs..." He looks at the CD. "All of these are, like, twenty years old at least. Figures. Oh, and he groped your face. Sounds like true love to me.
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By AnonymElizabeth Scott
Grace is my favourite church word. A state of being. Something you can pray for. Something God can grant. Something you can obtain. Perfection is out of reach. But grace -- grace you can reach for.
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By AnonymElizabeth Scott
He is nothing to look at, and yet I can’t stop looking at him. There is something beautiful in how his face is made, how all the tiny flaws blend together into something more perfect than perfection could ever be.
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By AnonymElizabeth Scott
He looks trapped, helpless and furious, and that’s a feeling I know too well. Know how much it hurts. Know how it holds you down, how every day there are a thousand little ways to see there is nothing you can do to change who or what you are.
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By AnonymElizabeth Scott
He's looking at me as if the whole world waits for my next breath, with an intensity that makes my heart pound and my palms sweat and then he smiles, a sweet curve of his mouth, and my breath catches, but then I freeze because there is something about it, something beyond it that I know, that makes my mind go blank with fear and pain.
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By AnonymElizabeth Scott
Hope was supposed to be a good thing, but it was starting to feel like every other four-letter word you're not supposed to say.
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By AnonymElizabeth Scott
How come you like Josh so much anyway? All he does is sit around drinking overpriced coffee and bitching about how awful things are" "He cares about the world." "If he cared about the world, he'd donate the ten thousand dollars he must spend on coffee every year to charity. That would be doing something.
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By AnonymElizabeth Scott
I always wanted to be grown up. When I was little I couldn’t wait to be a teenager and go to high school. When I got there I wanted to be done with it, wanted to get out into the world, the real one, and live in it. The thing is, that world doesn’t exist. All growing up means is that you realize no one will come along to fix things. No one will come along to save you.
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By AnonymElizabeth Scott
I'd dressed up and hoped and I was so tired of doing that, so tired of dreaming and being unable to stop it despite the fact that I'd seen, maybe better than anyone here, what dreams could do to you.
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By AnonymElizabeth Scott
I deserved the shaking and the headaches and the fact that every single time I took a breath I felt a squeezing in my chest, my heart beating even though I wished it wasn't.
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By AnonymElizabeth Scott
I didn’t want to see it. I didn’t think he’d ever really notice me, and in the end, he didn’t.
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By AnonymElizabeth Scott
I do not fall. I fell so hard so long ago there is nothing left for me to land on. I just keep falling and falling and falling.
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By AnonymElizabeth Scott
I don't eat bread.' Is she pouting? It's hard to tell. She's had a lot of chemicals injected into her face.
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By AnonymElizabeth Scott
I don't know how I know that, but I do. I can feel the beat of that truth inside me. Taste it bitter on my tongue. Sometimes, like now, I didn't think I want to know who I really am.
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By AnonymElizabeth Scott
I don’t know, shifted a little or something, smoothed down–people would think of me the way they think of Dave, and everything would always be perfect. I would be perfect.
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By AnonymElizabeth Scott
I don’t think I could have picked a worse guy to be my soul mate.
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By AnonymElizabeth Scott
I have been smashed and put back together so many times nothing works right. Nothing is where it should be, heavy thumping in my shoulder where my heart now beats.
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By AnonymElizabeth Scott
I heard how people sounded when their dreams were shattered, when their lives were turned into a waking nightmare.
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By AnonymElizabeth Scott
I-I don't usually go around throwing rocks at people's windows. Or saying that I've wanted to kiss you since your first day at work, when you wanted to know why we had three codes for fish sandwiches when we only sold one kind.
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By AnonymElizabeth Scott
I knew I was having a panic attack. I hadn't had one in a while, though, and I'd forgotton how they made everything like it- and I- was going to fall apart. How they reminded me of how trapped I was.
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By AnonymElizabeth Scott
I lied to Julia, I didn't know what else to do because you - you make me feel..." I had to stop. Not because I didn't have words. I did. But I was afraid to say them. He looked at me, and I knew then I could love him. That if I let myself I would. "You make me feel too," he said, and held out one hand.
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By AnonymElizabeth Scott
I liked him first, but it doesn't matter. I still like him. That doesn't matter either. Or at least, it's not supposed to.
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By AnonymElizabeth Scott
I'll always remember taking your hand and telling you that everything would be okay.
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By AnonymElizabeth Scott
I love the me I am with him. I’m the girl who has Dave. I’m Lauren, Dave’s girlfriend. I’m someone better than Lauren Smith, who no one noticed till Dave came along. The thing is, that girl isn’t me and I know it. But when I’m with him, I feel like I could be her. That if something in me was just–I don’t know, shifted a little or something, smoothed down–people would think of me the way they think of Dave, and everything would always be perfect. I would be perfect.
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By AnonymElizabeth Scott
Imagine a guy. He’s a little taller than you, with perfect skin, skin that just screams “touch me!” and dark hair and gorgeous blue eyes and he looks so sweet and he is sweet. And then have him blush a little.
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By AnonymElizabeth Scott
I’m always the one who doesn’t have a date, the one guys walk up to and say, “So, is your friend, you know, with someone?” and I may not be the only girl without someone, but it feels like it sometimes. A lot of the time.
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By AnonymElizabeth Scott
I’m broken, I have cut myself wide open. I can see my heart and it is not what I believed it was, it is not good and kind and all the things I have always thought I am.
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By AnonymElizabeth Scott
I'm so not interesting in having to try and make something out of foil." What, you didn't like the poncho with wraparound leggings?" It was beyond hideou- wait a minute. You watch that show?" My mom loves it." But your suppose to be sulking in the basement getting ready to light fires." What can I say? I'm a failure as a teenager. I watch TV with my mom.
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By AnonymElizabeth Scott
I see what grief does, how it strips you bare, shows you all the things you don't want to know. That loss doesn't end, that there isn't a moment where you are done, when you can neatly put it away and move on.
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By AnonymElizabeth Scott
It could be enough, maybe, or at least a start, but the problem is that at night I tumble into dreams that aren't dreams at all. I tumble into memories and wake up aching for a dying world and a quiet, cold life that offered me nothing but sitting in a still room.
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By AnonymElizabeth Scott
I think love is huge, overwhelming. I think it's terrible and beautiful.
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By AnonymElizabeth Scott
I think the way I feel when I look at Evan comes from her. In pictures taken the day she married my dad, she was reckless, laughing, spinning around in circles. She looked like her whole world was him. She looked a kind of happy I can't even imagine. I don't want that. I don't want to be like that. I don' want to feel the way she did because I know what happens when you do. You love with your whole heart, with everything, and you wake up one morning and kiss someone good-bye the way you always do except you mean it as good-bye forever.
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By AnonymElizabeth Scott
I think you’re the saddest person I’ve ever met. It’s like you’re drowning in it.
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By AnonymElizabeth Scott
I thought living dead girls couldn't feel pain, thought I was emptied out but I'm not, I'm not.
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By AnonymElizabeth Scott
I told you we were meant to be," he says, still smiling, still so Finn, who was always here but who I just didn't see and now-- Well, now I kiss him.
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By AnonymElizabeth Scott
It's bullshit. It's so easy to label people, to look at a list of symptoms and say, "This is who you are. This is what you are.
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By AnonymElizabeth Scott
It was like we were all so busy trying to be happy or saying we were happy, but underneath there was nothing but bitterness, the kind that could only be bled out in ink, in unspoken word.
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By AnonymElizabeth Scott
I've been taught that love is beautiful and kind, but it isn't like that at all. It is beautiful, but it's a terrible beauty, a ruthless one, and you fall-you fall, and the thing is- The thing is you want to. You don't care what's coming you just want who your heart beats for.
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By AnonymElizabeth Scott
I wants us to be real. I want to be just you and me. - Ryan
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By AnonymElizabeth Scott
I want to care, but I don't. I look at you and all I feel is tired. I walk through school and all I want to do is leave. I wake up in the morning and don't know why I'm here. I feel like I'm not real.
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