Best 7 quotes of Harris Wittels on MyQuotes

I hate smoking sections. Unless we're talking about the movie 'The Mask' with Jim Carrey. Then the smoking section is my favorite part.

I'm not getting married until gay people can get married. Because I'm gay.

I'm very reactive, I think. I'm down to throw down with people. Online, of course. Not in person.

I think all Internet comments should be disengaged. But I kind of live and die by it. It's completely irresistible. It's not like comedy. When I do a podcast or write an episode of TV, I have no feedback for that. That's the only way you know what you're doing is good or bad.

I wanna open a Jamaican/Irish/Spanish small plate breakfast restaurant and call it Tapas the Morning to Ja.

What's up?  I'm Harris.  I'm 33 years young.  I have my cousin Jason's truck for two more weeks.  I have one testicle-whack a mole accident-and I'm down to clown.

Wheat Thins? Call me when they're Wheat THICKS! Gimme that wheat!