Best 114 quotes of Henry Cloud on MyQuotes

Henry Cloud

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    Henry Cloud

    A culture is like an immune system. It operates through the laws of systems, just like a body. If a body has an infection, the immune system deals with it. Similarly, a group enforces its norms, either actively or passively.

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    Henry Cloud

    A leader's responsibility is to cause a vision and mission to have tangible results in the real world.

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    Henry Cloud

    Anger is frustration at the fact that we are not God, and do not have control over reality.

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    Henry Cloud

    A person who hasn't grieved a significant loss has unfinished business inside and can cause others great grief as a result.

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    Henry Cloud

    Because dating is a human exercise, it can be a tightrope fraught with danger. You will be dating imperfect people, and some of them are more imperfect than others. In addition, you are not perfect either, so that complicates the picture.

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    Henry Cloud

    Boundaries are basically about providing structure, and structure is essential in building anything that thrives.

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    Henry Cloud

    Christianity is not about morality. It's about reality.

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    Henry Cloud

    Confronting an irresponsible person is not painful to him; only consequences are.

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    Henry Cloud

    Couples often live out years of falsehood trying to protect and save a relationship, all the while destroying any chance of real relationship.

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    Henry Cloud

    Dating is a place to practice how to relate to other people.

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    Henry Cloud

    Dating is not only a wonderful time of life, but also a context for enormous spiritual and personal growth. You learn so much about yourself, others, God, love, spirituality, and life through dating. Done well, it can be fulfilling in and of itself. Done well, it can be one of the most fun and rewarding aspects of your life. Done well, it can lead to a good marriage.

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    Henry Cloud

    Dating is primarily a numbers game.... People usually go through a lot of people to find good relationships. That's just the way it is.

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    Henry Cloud

    Diligence is not easy, but we can't reach our goals without it.

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    Henry Cloud

    Dont use all-or-nothing thinking. Take each day as its own day, and dont worry about it if you mess up one day. The most important thing you can do is just get back up on the horse.

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    Henry Cloud

    Encourage literally came from "in courage." The courage is put "into" you from outside. Our character and abilities grow through internalizing from others what we do not possess in ourselves.

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    Henry Cloud

    Endings are a part of life, and we are actually wired to execute them. But because of trauma, developmental failures, and other reasons, we shy away from the steps that could open up whole new worlds of development and growth.

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    Henry Cloud

    Everything has seasons, and we have to be able to recognize when something's time has passed and be able to move into the next season. Everything that is alive requires pruning as well, which is a great metaphor for endings.

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    Henry Cloud

    For someone's character to grow, it has to be free from internal attack. Falling down never stopped children from developing. But getting yelled at, criticized, and put down can stop them for life.

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    Henry Cloud

    Getting to the next level always requires ending something, leaving it behind, and moving on. Growth demands that we move on. Without the ability to end things, people stay stuck, never becoming who they are meant to be, never accomplishing all that their talents and abilities should afford them.

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    Henry Cloud

    God's solution for "I can't live that way anymore" is basically, "Good! Don't live that way anymore. Set firm limits against evil behavior that are designed to promote change and redemption. Get the love and support you need from other places to take the kind of stance that I do to help redeem relationship. Suffer long, but suffer in the right way." And when done God's way, chances are much better for redemption.

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    Henry Cloud

    Good pain is pain in the service of a purpose. Bad pain is pain endured because we are resisting a needed growth step.

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    Henry Cloud

    Grief is accepting the reality of what is. That is grief's job and purpose-to allow us to come to terms with the way things really are, so that we can move on. Grief is a gift of God. Without it, we would all be condemned to a life of continually denying reality, arguing or protesting against reality, and never growing from the realities we experience.

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    Henry Cloud

    He is the Truth, and He wants us to deal in truth with ourselves and our loved ones. We want the truth about you and your family to flood into and overrun the secrets that keep you in bondage to dysfunctional behavior and relationships

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    Henry Cloud

    If people are really narcissistic or have a need to be seen as more than they really are, or to be admired as having it all together, then they cannot be followed and trusted by others.

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    Henry Cloud

    If you are building a culture where honest expectations are communicated and peer accountability is the norm, then the group will address poor performance and attitudes.

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    Henry Cloud

    If you continue to blame other people for “making” you feel guilty, they still have power over you, and you are saying that you will only feel good when they stop doing that. You are giving them control over your life. Stop blaming other people.

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    Henry Cloud

    If you want to become healthy, you have to surround yourself with a group of people that are getting healthy and you have to be connected to a community that is doing what you want to do.

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    Henry Cloud

    I'm not an expert in the sociological realities of all the pastors in the world, but I would say that there are some very, very positive things about the state of integrity in church leaders.

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    Henry Cloud

    In a very real way, ownership is the essence of leadership. When you are ridiculously in charge, then you own whatever happens in a company, school, et cetera.

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    Henry Cloud

    Independence is not an option for us. Remember, God existed without us.

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    Henry Cloud

    In the end, as a leader, you are always going to get a combination of two things: what you create and what you allow.

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    Henry Cloud

    It’s scary to realize that the only thing holding our friends to us isn’t our performance, or our lovability, or their guilt, or their obligation. The only thing that will keep them calling, spending time with us, and putting up with us is love. And that’s the one thing we can’t control.

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    Henry Cloud

    Just as we leave the effects of our work behind in results, we leave the effects of our interactions with people in their hearts, minds, and souls.

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    Henry Cloud

    Love can only exist where freedom and responsibility are operating.

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    Henry Cloud

    Marriage is not slavery. It is based on a love relationship deeply rooted in freedom. Each partner is free from the other and therefore free to love the other. Where there is control, or perception of control, there is not love. Love only exists where there is freedom.

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    Henry Cloud

    Oftentimes, churches are started by an entrepreneurial church plant visionary whom everybody follows, but he's not following anybody. Even though he's "accountable to a board," he's really not. Authority's a good thing, and if it's not forced upon you as a leader, then I suggest, strongly, that you go buy some.

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    Henry Cloud

    One of the first signs that you’re beginning to develop boundaries is a sense of resentment, frustration, or anger at the subtle and not-so-subtle violations in your life. Just as radar signals the approach of a foreign missile, your anger can alert you to boundary violations in your life.

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    Henry Cloud

    One of the worst things you can die with is potential.

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    Henry Cloud

    People tend to look at dating sort of like a safari - like they're trying to land the trophy.

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    Henry Cloud

    Successful people stick to what they are good at and find ways to make that larger.

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    Henry Cloud

    That is why success and fruitfulness depend as much upon focusing on the "who" you are as much as the "what" of the work you do. Invest in your character, and it will give you the returns that you are looking for by only investing in the work itself. You can't do the latter without the former.

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    Henry Cloud

    The Bible is clear about two principles: (1) We always need to forgive, but (2) we don’t always achieve reconciliation. Forgiveness is something that we do in our hearts; we release someone from a debt that they owe us. We write off the person’s debt, and she no longer owes us. We no longer condemn her. She is clean. Only one party is needed for forgiveness: me. The person who owes me a debt does not have to ask my forgiveness. It is a work of grace in my heart.

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    Henry Cloud

    The business of church is ultimately people. You're trying to heal people, grow people, teach people, and mend people. And when leaders spend all of their time helping and growing other people, they ignore their own growth.

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    Henry Cloud

    The extent to which two people in a relationship can bring up and resolve issues is a critical marker of the soundness of a relationship.

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    Henry Cloud

    The human heart will seek to be known, understood, and connected with above all else. If you do not connect, the ones you care about will find someone who will.

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    Henry Cloud

    The mature person meets the demands of life, while the immature person demands that life meet her demands.

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    Henry Cloud

    The natural response to evaluation is to feel judged. We have to mature to a place where we respond to it with gratitude, and love feedback.

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    Henry Cloud

    The physicality of a real relationship - one that encompasses mind, body and soul - ultimately makes it more fulfilling and powerful than any virtual relationship ever could be.

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    Henry Cloud

    There is a big difference between hurt and harm. We all hurt sometimes in facing hard truths, but it makes us grow. It can be the source of huge growth. That is not harmful. Harm is when you damage someone. Facing reality is usually not a damaging experience, even though it can hurt.

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    Henry Cloud

    There is a difference between solitude and isolation. One is connected and one isn't. Solitude replenishes, isolation diminishes.