Best 20 quotes of Shelley Berman on MyQuotes

A hotel is a place that keeps the manufacturers of 25-watt bulbs in business.

As a culture I see us as presently deprived of subtleties. The music is loud, the anger is elevated, sex seems lacking in sweetness and privacy.

As much experience, education and awareness as one can attain is important for a comedian.

I am in the Master of Professional Writing program teaching Humor Writing, Literary and Dramatic.

I am presently in my thirteenth year of teaching a graduate course at the University of Southern California.

I believe it is important for comedians to know who came before them.

I developed several comedy phone calls.

If you've never met a student from the University of Chicago, I'll describe him to you. If you give him a glass of water, he says, 'This is a glass of water. But is it a glass of water? And if it is a glass of water, why is it a glass of water?' And eventually he dies of thirst.

I heard the other day of a man who paid a psychologist $50 to cure him of an inferiority complex - and later was fined $25 and costs for talking back to a traffic cop.

Incidentally, I'm still looking for acting work, my first love.

I quit smoking well over twenty years ago.

I was an actor before becoming a comedian.

My first job was at a Chicago night club called Mr. Kelly's.

The most memorable performance was my appearance in concert in Carnegie Hall. The first standup to do so.

The most unusual salesman I ever met is a fellow who made a modest fortune purveying lightning rods. But he suddenly lost interest in his work. He got caught in a storm with a bunch of samples in his arms.

The old problems - love, money, security, status, health, etc. - are still here to plague us or please us.

The Steve Allen Sunday night show had the right to two options after my first performance.

Unquestionably, standup comedy is and has always been an art form.

We teach reading, writing and math by [having students do] them. But we teach democracy by lecture.

While you're improvising, you may come up with something which will break him up. As soon as that smile comes out, you know that, hey, we're having fun.