Best 32 quotes of Oliver Herford on MyQuotes

Actresses will happen in the best regulated families.

Age, like distance lends a double charm.

A kiss is a course of procedure cunningly devised, for the mutual stopage of speech at a moment when words are superfluous.

A man is known by the silence he keeps.

An epicure is one who gets nothing better than the cream of everything but cheerfully makes the best of it.

A rolling stone gathers no moss, but it gains a certain polish.

A woman's mind is cleaner than a man's: She changes it more often.

Bigamy is one way of avoiding the painful publicity of divorce and the expense of alimony.

Cat: a pygmy lion who loves mice, hates dogs, and patronizes human beings.

Children, behold the Chimpanzee: He sits on the ancestral tree From which we sprang in ages gone.

Darling: the popular form of address used in speaking to a member of the opposite sex whose name you cannot at the moment remember.

Diplomacy: lying in state.

Diplomacy is living in state.

Gather kittens while you may, Time brings only sorrow; And the kittens of today; Will be old cats tomorrow.

If some people got their rights they would complain of being deprived of their wrongs.

I sometimes think the Pussy-Willows grey Are Angel Kittens who have lost their way, And every Bulrush on the river bank A Cat-Tail from some lovely Cat astray.

I would like to throw an egg into an electric fan.

Manuscript: something submitted in haste and returned at leisure.

Many are called but few get up.

Modesty: the gentle art of enhancing your charm by pretending not to be aware of it.

My wife has a whim of iron.

Only the young die good.

Song is the licensed medium for bawling in public things too silly or sacred to be uttered in ordinary speech.

Tact is to lie about others as you would have them lie about you.

The Elf and the Dormouse UNDER a toadstool crept a wee Elf, Out of the rain to shelter himself. Under the toadstool, sound asleep, Sat a big Dormouse all in a heap. Trembled the wee Elf, frightened and yet Fearing to fly away lest he get wet. To the next shelter-maybe a mile! Sudden the wee Elf smiled a wee smile. Tugged till the toadstool toppled in two. Holding it over him, gaily he flew. Soon he was safe home, dry as could be. Soon woke the Dormouse-"Good gracious me!" "Where is my toadstool?" loud he lamented. -And that's how umbrellas first were invented.

There are more fish taken out of a stream than ever were in it.

There is always room at the top - after the investigation.

To babble is to make a feminine noise somewhat resembling the sound of a brook, but with less meaning.

What is my loftiest ambition? I've always wanted to throw an egg at an electric fan.

When I go abroad I always sail from Boston because it is such a pleasant place to get away from.

At evening when the lamp is lit, The tired Human People sit And doze, or turn with solemn looks The speckled pages of their books. Then I, the Dangerous Kitten, prowl And in the Shadows softly growl, And roam about the farthest floor Where Kitten never trod before. And, crouching in the jungle damp, I watch the Human Hunter’s camp, Ready to spring with fearful roar As soon as I shall hear them snore. And then with stealthy tread I crawl Into the dark and trackless hall, Where 'neath the Hat-tree's shadows deep Umbrellas fold their wings and sleep. A cuckoo calls — and to their dens The People climb like frightened hens, And I'm alone — and no one cares In Darkest Africa — downstairs.

When I grow up I mean to be A Lion large and fierce to see. I'll mew so loud that Cook in fright Will give me all the cream in sight. And anyone who dares to say 'Poor Puss' to me will rue the day. Then having swallowed him I'll creep Into the Guest Room Bed to sleep.