Best 12 quotes in «funny sarcastic quotes» category

I envy people who drink. At least they have something to blame everything on.

There is more refreshment and stimulation in a nap, even of the briefest, than in all the alcohol ever distilled.

I've never been drunk, but often I've been overserved.

When I have an idea, I turn down the flame, as if it were a little alcohol stove, as low as it will go. Then it explodes and that is my idea.

My rule of life prescribed as an absolutely sacred rite smoking cigars and also the drinking of alcohol before, after and if need be during all meals and in the intervals between them.

We drink [to] one another's health and spoil our own.

As women slowly gain power, their values and priorities are reshaping the agenda. A multitude of studies show that when women control the family funds, they generally spend more on health, nutrition, and education - and less on alcohol and cigarettes.

Without question, the greatest invention in the history of mankind is beer. Oh, I grant you that the wheel was also a fine invention, but the wheel does not go nearly as well with pizza.

Alcohol gives you infinite patience for stupidity.

Every form of addiction is bad, no matter whether the narcotic be alcohol or morphine or idealism.

He must be very ignorant for he answers every question he is asked.

As we celebrate Recovery Month, it is time for Congress to knock down the barriers to treatment and recovery for 26 million Americans suffering the ravages of alcohol and drug addiction.