Best 797 quotes in «drunk quotes» category

Play the Piano Drunk Like a Percussion Instrument Until the Fingers Begin to Bleed a Bit.

Politicians use statistics in the same way that a drunk uses lamp-postsfor support rather than illumination.

Pot is a better drug than alcohol. I'll prove it to you. You're at a ball game or a concert, and someone's really violent and agressive and obnoxious, are they drunk or are they smoking pot?

Politicians are really getting desperate. In fact, Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid sent out a final fundraising email to Democrats with the subject line, 'I'm begging.' Because what better way to show you're a strong leader than acting like you're drunk and dialing your ex?

POSSIBLE OPENERS AFTER YOU'VE GOTTEN DRUNK AND SLEPT IN YOUR GUY ROOMMATE'S BED (A LIST):1. Hey, Drew, thanks for letting me sleep in your bed. I hope I didn't puke all over your sheets.2. What do you mean? I slept in your bed? Really? I don't remember any of it, I was so wasted.3. Thanks for not trying to molest me.

Relax, Jailbait," said Avery. "A drunken kiss is nothing compared to a drunken fall. God knows I've kissed plenty of guys drunk." "And yet, I remain unkissed tonight," mused Adrian.

Read the classics one hour every day, drunk or sober. Reading the classics gives one a feeling of confidence. It familiarizes one with the vagaries of life. It shows one that there are really no new plots.

Ride your emotions as the shallop rides the waves; don't get upset among them. There are people who enjoy getting swamped emotionally, just as, incredibly, there are people who enjoy getting drunk.

Right now one in three teenagers meets the medical criteria for addiction, which is scary. I'm so driven because when I walked into rehab, I was like, "Am I still drunk? Did the guys give me the wrong address? Am I at a summer camp?" And it kills them. Deaths attributed to drugs and alcohol have overtaken all other emergency-room deaths.

Promise me one thing: don't take me home until I'm drunk - very drunk indeed.

She's so obnoxious. Like a whole Saturday night drunk tank full of obnoxious packed into one little body." Detective Cavuto

She wants to drink that man too, and then she can forget forever the cheap wine that you gulp down and that makes you feel drunk, but always leaves you with a headache and an empty space in your soul.

Scott: Friends don't let friends drive drunk. Nora: Are you trying to appeal to my conscience? Scott: How can you turn down a once-in-a-lifetime chance to drive the 'Stang? Nora: How about you sell me the 'Stang for thirty dollars? I can even pay cash. Scott: Drunk, but not that drunk, Grey.

She was sound asleep when he came to curl up next to her. She grunted. "Don't worry. I'm too drunk, I won't do anything," he murmered. As she had her back to him, he placed his nose on her neck and slid his arm underneath her to be as close to her as possible. Short strands of her hair tickled his nostrils. "Camille?" Was she asleep? Was she pretending? No answer either way. "I like being with you." A little smile. Was she dreaming? Was she asleep? Who knows.

So here I am. Twenty-eight years old, with thirty looming on the horizon. Drunk. Fat. Alone. Unloved. And, worst of all, a cliche, Ally McBeal and Bridget Jones put together, which was probably about how much I weighed.

Something I tell my students is to read once; then if you still have problems with it, read it a second time. If you still have problems, get drunk and read it a third time... and you might get something out of it.

Sometimes I get a little drunk, sometimes I get a little out of it, sometimes I get out of tune onstage, but that's something that shouldn't be dissected

Satellite images, maps and blueprints of the whole world, of every city. We could look it up and know what's there in someone else's words. Or we could get wicked drunk and just go.

So, after awhile, you can only get so much happiness from a guy who's drunk come up and tell you you're great.

So I took her back to my place and we did it doggy style, not because we planned it that way, but that's just how she passed out.

Sometimes I like to get drunk and buy things on the internet, and then I wake up the next day and find 'em on my doorstep, and it's like Christmas. I get excited.

Sometimes I write drunk and revise sober, and sometimes I write sober and revise drunk. But you have to have both elements in creation — the Apollonian and the Dionysian, or spontaneity and restraint, emotion and discipline.

Statistics are used much like a drunk uses a lamppost: for support, not illumination.

Sonny Boy Williamson (II) was a beautiful guy, a straight guy... (but) he was always raising hell one way or another, so you never could tell if he was drunk or sober.

Sometimes I just think depression's one way of coping with the world. Like, some people get drunk, some people do drugs, some people get depressed. Because there's so much stuff out there that you have to do something to deal with it.

Tabloids invoke freedom of speech, but they're not interested in that, they're just interested in who's shagging whom, who's got drunk. And if you take that pretend, faux moral standpoint, you end up with people in public life being completely boring. Like they've had their genitals removed.

Thanksgiving is probably my favorite holiday - it's a day that's American to the core and it's a day that's all about what and how we eat.

Summer is the time when one sheds one's tensions with one's clothes, and the right kind of day is jeweled balm for the battered spirit. A few of those days and you can become drunk with the belief that all's right with the world.

That's the whole thing with Israel. When they do things and nobody is punishing them, not even criticizing them, then that will get them drunk of power to continue on growing up and doing whatever they do.

The air will always be to filled with something. Your body too sore or tired. Your father too drunk. Your wife too cold. You will always have some excuse not to live your life.

That which hath made them drunk hath made me bold; What hath quenched them hath given me fire.

The argument that women who become pregnant have in some sense consented to the pregnancy belies realityand others who are the inevitable losers in the contraceptive lottery no more 'consent' to pregnancy than pedestrians 'consent' to being struck by drunk drivers.'

Thanksgiving. It's like we didn't even try to come up with a tradition. The tradition is, we overeat. 'Hey, how about at Thanksgiving we just eat a lot?' 'But we do that every day!' 'Oh. What if we eat a lot with people that annoy the hell out of us?'

The claw of the magnolia, drunk on its own scents, asks nothing of life.

The best way to avoid a hangover is to stay drunk.

The dramatically different manner in which we, as a nation, responded to the crisis presented by drunk driving and the crisis caused by the emergence of crack cocaine speaks volumes about who we value, and who we view as disposable.

The drunk kids, the catholics They're all about the same They're waiting for something Hoping to be saved

The difference between a drunk and a alcoholic is that a drunk doesn't have to attend all those meetings.

The big story now is that President Bush is coming under attack for his service in the National Guard. The White House said, 'no no,' that they have payroll records to show that he served in the National Guard. But today, the commanding officers can't remember seeing Bush between May and October of '72. President Bush said, 'Remember me? I'm the drunk guy. Remember me?'

The generalizing writer is like the passionate drunk, stumbling into your house mumbling: I know I'm not being clear, exactly, but don't you kind of feel what I'm feeling?

The important thing is to be drunk.

The Internet is like closing time at a blue-collar bar in Boston. Everyone’s drunk and ugly and they’re going to pass out in a few minutes.

The lancet fluke (Dicrocoelium) infects the brain of ants by taking control and driving them to climb to the top of a blade of grass where they can be eaten by a cow. The ingested fluke then lays eggs in the cow gut. Eventually, the eggs exit the cow, and hungry snails eat the dung (and fluke eggs). The fluke enters the snail's digestive gland and gets excreted in sticky slime full of a seething mass of flukes to be drunk by ants as a source of moisture.

The earth is convulsed with a universal sob, and the roads are muddy with tears. But I do not call to mind a more touching picture of unavailing misery and ruin, and hopeless chaos, than the plug hat that has endeavored to keep sober and maintain self-respect while its owner was drunk.

The intense perfumes of the wild herbs as we trod them underfoot made us feel almost drunk.

The only person more cynical than a drunk is a reformed drunk.

The old shepherd had died, or got drunk, or got rats, or got the sack, or a legacy, or got sane, or chucked it, or got lost, or found, or a wife, or had cut his throat, or hanged himself, or got into Parliament or the peerage anyway, anything had happened to him that can happen to an old shepherd or any other man in the bush, and he wasn't there.

the only way to tolerate the thought of her mother sleeping with that man was to get drunk-very drunk.

The ' pleasure' of being drunk is obviously the pleasure of escaping from the responsibility of Consciousness.

The NHL's opinion of itself is so high.... Let them get drunk on their greatness. We'll see how many Euros look our way.