Best 797 quotes in «drunk quotes» category

Statistics are used much like a drunk uses a lamppost: for support, not illumination.

Thanksgiving is probably my favorite holiday - it's a day that's American to the core and it's a day that's all about what and how we eat.

Summer is the time when one sheds one's tensions with one's clothes, and the right kind of day is jeweled balm for the battered spirit. A few of those days and you can become drunk with the belief that all's right with the world.

That's the whole thing with Israel. When they do things and nobody is punishing them, not even criticizing them, then that will get them drunk of power to continue on growing up and doing whatever they do.

The air will always be to filled with something. Your body too sore or tired. Your father too drunk. Your wife too cold. You will always have some excuse not to live your life.

The argument that women who become pregnant have in some sense consented to the pregnancy belies realityand others who are the inevitable losers in the contraceptive lottery no more 'consent' to pregnancy than pedestrians 'consent' to being struck by drunk drivers.'

Tabloids invoke freedom of speech, but they're not interested in that, they're just interested in who's shagging whom, who's got drunk. And if you take that pretend, faux moral standpoint, you end up with people in public life being completely boring. Like they've had their genitals removed.

That which hath made them drunk hath made me bold; What hath quenched them hath given me fire.

The best way to avoid a hangover is to stay drunk.

The big story now is that President Bush is coming under attack for his service in the National Guard. The White House said, 'no no,' that they have payroll records to show that he served in the National Guard. But today, the commanding officers can't remember seeing Bush between May and October of '72. President Bush said, 'Remember me? I'm the drunk guy. Remember me?'

The claw of the magnolia, drunk on its own scents, asks nothing of life.

The dramatically different manner in which we, as a nation, responded to the crisis presented by drunk driving and the crisis caused by the emergence of crack cocaine speaks volumes about who we value, and who we view as disposable.

The drunk kids, the catholics They're all about the same They're waiting for something Hoping to be saved

The earth is convulsed with a universal sob, and the roads are muddy with tears. But I do not call to mind a more touching picture of unavailing misery and ruin, and hopeless chaos, than the plug hat that has endeavored to keep sober and maintain self-respect while its owner was drunk.

The difference between a drunk and a alcoholic is that a drunk doesn't have to attend all those meetings.

The important thing is to be drunk.

Thanksgiving. It's like we didn't even try to come up with a tradition. The tradition is, we overeat. 'Hey, how about at Thanksgiving we just eat a lot?' 'But we do that every day!' 'Oh. What if we eat a lot with people that annoy the hell out of us?'

The Internet is like closing time at a blue-collar bar in Boston. Everyone’s drunk and ugly and they’re going to pass out in a few minutes.

The generalizing writer is like the passionate drunk, stumbling into your house mumbling: I know I'm not being clear, exactly, but don't you kind of feel what I'm feeling?

The NHL's opinion of itself is so high.... Let them get drunk on their greatness. We'll see how many Euros look our way.

The old shepherd had died, or got drunk, or got rats, or got the sack, or a legacy, or got sane, or chucked it, or got lost, or found, or a wife, or had cut his throat, or hanged himself, or got into Parliament or the peerage anyway, anything had happened to him that can happen to an old shepherd or any other man in the bush, and he wasn't there.

The intense perfumes of the wild herbs as we trod them underfoot made us feel almost drunk.

The lancet fluke (Dicrocoelium) infects the brain of ants by taking control and driving them to climb to the top of a blade of grass where they can be eaten by a cow. The ingested fluke then lays eggs in the cow gut. Eventually, the eggs exit the cow, and hungry snails eat the dung (and fluke eggs). The fluke enters the snail's digestive gland and gets excreted in sticky slime full of a seething mass of flukes to be drunk by ants as a source of moisture.

The only person more cynical than a drunk is a reformed drunk.

the only way to tolerate the thought of her mother sleeping with that man was to get drunk-very drunk.

The ' pleasure' of being drunk is obviously the pleasure of escaping from the responsibility of Consciousness.

There are people who have an image of me as being rude and inconsiderate. But I'm completely the opposite, because I was raised not to be. I might have been tripping over myself drunk, but I was always courteous.

The outstretched arms of Jesus exclude no one, not the drunk in the doorway, the panhandler on the street, gays and lesbians in their isolation, the most selfish and ungrateful in their cocoons, the most unjust of employers and the most overweening of snobs. The love of Christ embraces all without exception.

There is a certain type of conversation one hears only when one is drunk and it is like a dream, full of humor and threat and significance, deep significance.

There is little that can be said about most economic goods. A toothbrush does little but clean teeth. Aspirin does little but dull pain. Alcohol is important mostly for making people more or less drunk ... There being so little to be said, much is to be invented.

There comes a time in every man's life when he wakes up drunk on the toilet and begins to doubt the choices he has made. and when that time comes at least twice a day, every day. something needs to be done.

There is nothing left to do but get drunk.

The problem wiv some blokes is that wen they ain't drunk, they're sober.

There is nothing contemptible about an intoxicated man - if it is nothing more than a bookful of words or a roomful of notes that he has got drunk on.

There's a joke in economics about the drunk who loses his keys in the street but only looks for them under the lightposts. When asked why, he says, 'because that's where the light is.' That's the problem with the deficit.

There's a communion of more than our bodies when bread is broken and wine drunk.

There is something about safari life that makes you forget all your sorrows and feel as if you had drunk half a bottle of champagne — bubbling over with heartfelt gratitude for being alive.

There's nothing better for hosting a show than a bunch of people daytime-whiskey drunk.

There seems to be a peculiar and particular tie between men who have been drunk together.

There's something almost impossible about the criminal justice system when it comes to sexual assault cases. It immediately sets up a trial, where witnesses may have been drunk or maybe there were no witnesses and maybe there's no evidence.

There's no point feeling angry at a drunk.

There's nothing inherently interesting about being a drunk -- in fact, quite the contrary.

There's only one man really responsible for those events - Yahya Khan. Both he and his advisers were so drunk with power and corruption they'd even forgotten the honor of the army.

There would never be a way for me to live comfortably with people. Maybe I'd become a monk. I'd pretend to believe in God and live in a cubicle, play an organ and stay drunk on wine.

There was a euphoria in the music and the way it was delivered, and, as the crowds started to get bigger, it fed off itself until it became less about the band and more about being with all those people, jumping up and down, drunk to the music.

The sky was falling down on me and I spent most of the time drunk. It was the only way I could handle it.

The spirit he has shown has been second to none.  (on Terry Fenwick's drunk-driving charge)

These new metal bands are going out, getting drunk and going to strip clubs, and they'll be doing the same in thirty years. There isn't even an interesting self-destructive quality to it . . . it's just dumb.

The story goes that I first had the idea for The HitchHiker's Guide to the Galaxy while lying drunk in a field in Innsbruck.

There were times that I would be drunk and just leave a place by myself because I had an impulse and wasn't thinking through the repercussions on others.