Best 11 quotes of John M. Gottman on MyQuotes

John M. Gottman

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    John M. Gottman

    Gay and lesbian relationships operate on essentially the same principles as heterosexual relationships

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    John M. Gottman

    I believe we're going to find that respect and affection are essential to all relationships working and contempt destroys them.

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    John M. Gottman

    In a good relationship, people get angry, but in a very different way. The Marriage Masters see a problem a bit like a soccer ball. They kick it around. It's 'our' problem.

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    John M. Gottman

    In order to get to a healthier and more productive place, we need to give up our fear of conflict, turmoil and resistance.

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    John M. Gottman

    Marriages are much more likely to succeed when the couple experiences a 5 to 1 ratio of positive to negative interactions whereas when the ratio approaches 1 to 1, marriages are more likely to end in divorce.

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    John M. Gottman

    The Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse predict an ailing marriage: Criticism, Defensiveness, Stonewalling and Contempt. The worst of these is contempt.

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    John M. Gottman

    Thus, the critical dimension in understanding whether a marriage will work or not, becomes the extent to which the male can accept the influence of the woman he loves and become socialized in emotional communication.

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    John M. Gottman

    We move in response to our conversation partner’s face, and our brain also fires as we move those muscles and stirs the passions. Paralyzing the face is idiotic.

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    John M. Gottman

    When a couple gets to the last stage, one or both partners may have an affair. But an affair is usually a symptom of a dying marriage, not the cause. The end of that marriage could have been predicted long before either spouse strayed.

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    John M. Gottman

    You don't have to be interesting. You have to be interested.

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    John M. Gottman

    (...) I also believe that most crabby people can change by making a conscious choice to react to the world in a different way. The key is to scan your environment regularly for things and people to appreciate rather than to criticize. In so doing, you create a new climate of praise and gratitude in your life. Instead of getting bogged down in people’s faults and mistakes, you get swept up in a fruitful search for reasons to say “thank you.