Best 120 quotes of Greg Behrendt on MyQuotes

A good indication that it's not is if you're only staying with What's His Name because you're scared.

Alone also means available for someone outstanding.

Always be classy. Never be crazy.

A man who wants to make a relationship work will move mountains to keep the woman he loves

A man would rather be trampled by elephants on fire than tell you he's just not that into you.

An excuse is a polite rejection. Men are not afraid of 'ruining the friendship.

Anyone who assesses you or your relationship as disposable is not worthy of your time or tears.

As a guy I never liked being told to call, which my wife really never does, and that's why I call her as often as I do.

Before you look for validation in others, try and find it in yourself

Being brokenhearted is like having broken ribs. On the outside it looks like nothing's wrong, but every breath hurts.

Better than nothing is not good enough for you!

Beware of the word 'friend'. It can often be used by men or the women that love them to excuse the most unfriendly behavior. Personally, when I'm picking friends, I like the ones who don't make me cry myself to sleep.

Be yourself. If something you do doesn't work, don't do it the next time. Listen to yourself - you know what appropriate behavior is.

big plans require big action

Bored with the same type of misery over and over and over again.

Breakups hurt like a motherf*#ker, but they are not the end of the world. The pain is temporary, and if handled properly, they can even be life-changing.

But he was so great!' Yes, and the people who got on the Titanic thought they were going on a vacation

But what I can do is paint you a picture of what you’ll never see when you’re with a guy who’s really into you: You’ll never see you staring maniacally at your phone, willing it to ring. You’ll never see you ruining an evening with friends because you’re calling for your messages every fifteen seconds. You’ll never see you hating yourself for calling him when you know you shouldn’t have. What you will see is you being treated so well that no phone antics will be necessary. You’ll be too busy being adored.

Can you deep fry the bacon? Oh how I wish you would.

Cheaters are people who have a lot of stuff to work out, and they're working it out on your time and with your heart.

Cheating gets easier every time it's done. It's only hard the first time, when one feels the sting of morality and the guilt of betraying someone's trust.

Deciding to get back together with someone is a complicated and difficult decision. Just remember that the person you are getting back together with is the same person who, not long before, looked you in your beautiful face, took full stock of you and all your qualities, and told you that he was no longer in need of your company.

Don’t be flattered that he misses you. He should miss you. You are deeply missable. However, he’s still the same person who just broke up with you. Remember, the only reason he can miss you is because he’s choosing, every day, not to be with you.

Don’t spend your time on and give your heart to any guy who makes you wonder about anything related to his feelings for you

Drinking, eating, shopping, revenge, rebound sex, drugs or whatever your poison may be will number the pain - but that's all.

Feeling in love (or lust) and fear feel a lot alike. They both give you that anxious butterfly feeling in your stomach, a sense of excitement, and a general unease physically and mentally. It's easy to confuse love with fear.

First of all, never buy a man a plasma TV until you're married. A lot of men once they have a plasma TV they don't need a girlfriend

For me, a breakup changed my entire life. I was a mess. I really got rocked, and I ended up turning it into a positive thing.

Good enough to tweet, not to say.

He doesn’t have to love your CD collection. He doesn’t have to love your shoes. But any good, mature guy better make an attempt to love your friends and family—especially when they’re great.

..he may love you, he may miss you, but ultimately he's just not that into you.

He's just not that into you if he only wants to see you when he's drunk. If he likes you, he'll want to see you when his judgment isn't impaired.

He's just not that into you if he's not asking you out. Because if he likes you, trust me, he will ask you out.

How many presidents, do you think, ever said to another guy: 'I can't believe we're doing this in the White House'?

I always say that I love magic but I hate magicians. I like being fooled. If you wave your hands in front of my face and I think you're doing a trick, I'm easily impressed. If you pull a quarter out of my ear, I'm quite certain you're a wizard. But I don't like the way most magicians don't act like they're magical; they act like show business dicks.

I always tell people it's funny that they think I'm a relationship expert because my two books are about getting out of relationships.

I believe in love in hindsight, meaning attraction and connection can be remembered as love at first sight. But how could you possibly know at first sight? That's too much pressure to put on a relationship.

I believe in love the verb, not the noun.

I don't have to edit myself. I get to be me, warts and all, and that's ultimately what people want, and to trust each other implicitly.

I don't know" means "NO!" "I don't know" means "I'm too cowardly to tell you the truth because I can't deal with confrontation." "I don't know" means please do the dirty work for me because I don't want to hurt your feelings even more then I already have.

If a guy truly likes you, but for personal reasons he needs to take things slow, he will let you know that immediately. He won’t keep you guessing, because he’ll want to make sure you don’t get frustrated and go away.

If he's choosing not to make a simple effort that would put you at ease and bring harmony to a recurring fight, then he doesn't respect your feelings and needs.

If he's not calling you, it's because you are not on his mind. If he creates expectations for you, and then doesn't follow through on little things, he will do same for big things. Be aware of this and realize that he's okay with disappointing you.

If I had butterscotch pants and a cheetah sweater... I'd be just fine.

If the guy you’re dating doesn’t seem to be completely into you, or you feel the need to start ‘figuring him out,’ please consider the glorious thought that he might just not be that into you. And then free yourself to go find someone that is.

If you bury the pain deep down it will stay with you indefinitely, but if you open yourself to it, experience it, and deal with it head-on, you'll find it begins to move on after a while.

If you date, you will meet your share of weirdos and jerks. That is as sure as death and taxes.

I get giddy with the idea of stringing words together that make people laugh.

I have two rules when you come to my house on Halloween. Wear a costume - 'cause if you've manned your door at your own house, you know how many kids will roll up, 14 years old with no costume and an attitude. My other rule: don't grab. Let me assess you and then design a candy situation for you.

I love to eat. That's why I got so fat; I love to eat. If I don't walk away from a meal hurting, I didn't do it right. If I don't walk away from Thanksgiving dinner feeling like I've been turkey-f**ked in a gingerbread prison, I didn't do it right.