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By AnonymMatt Roper
I have two vintage typewriters. One just about works and the other hasn't a hope in hell, bless it. But they're both beautiful, and they'll stay with me just as long as there's a roof over my head.
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By AnonymMatt Roper
I like a decent funeral, and God knows in my family we've seen enough of them. Looking through family photographs now is like watching an episode of 'Dad's Army.
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By AnonymMatt Roper
I'm the worst ad anyone could possibly be for abstaining from anything.
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By AnonymMatt Roper
I once knew a girl who didn't know where anywhere was in the world. Not a clue. I asked her if she knew where Africa was and she answered, 'Is it the orange one on a map?'
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By AnonymMatt Roper
I've spent so much of my adult life in relationships that it's actually quite pleasant to be alone at last. I turned thirty-six the other day, which staggers me when I think about it.
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By AnonymMatt Roper
I want truth. I'm crying out to hear it. I need it like oxygen.
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By AnonymMatt Roper
Milk which is just about to turn is akin to that moment spent on the cusp of failure in a dulled and fettered relationship.
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By AnonymMatt Roper
Seven thirty in the morning is too early for a man of my standing.
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