Best 413 quotes in «funeral quotes» category

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    I hunted all through the four Gospels trying to find one of Christ's funeral sermons, but I couldn't find any. I found He broke up every funeral He ever attended! Death couldn't exist where He was.

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    I like a decent funeral, and God knows in my family we've seen enough of them. Looking through family photographs now is like watching an episode of 'Dad's Army.

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    I'll regularly just burst out into laughter at funerals, at the expense of the dead. What's the difference between a dead person and Thom Yorke? One is talented and the other is dead. **** you grandma

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    I'm fairly confident that if I died tomorrow, Don would find a way to preserve me until the season was over and he had time for a nice funeral.

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    I look upon every good man, as a good book, lent by its owner for another to read, and transcribe the excellent notions and golden passages that are in it for his own benefit, that they may return with him when the owner shall call for the book again: but in case this excellent book shall be thrown into a corner and no use made of it, it justly provokes the owner to take it away in displeasure. --Funeral of John Upton, Esq

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    I make it a kind of pious rule to go to every funeral to which I am invited, both as I wish to pay a proper respect to the dead, unless their characters have been bad, and as I would wish to have the funeral of my own near relations or of myself well attended.

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    I mean some doctor told me I had six months to live and I went to their funeral.

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    I'm more interested in the meaning of funerals and the mourning that people do. It's not a retail experience. It's an existential one.

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    In death a hero, as in life a friend!

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    I'm not allergic to fashion. I'm just one of those people who when they put on a suit look like they're going to a funeral or to court.

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    Inarticulate wretches have been behind most of the major advances in civilization. If Vincent Van Gogh had been able to get on with his neighbours, then he might have become an excellent painter-decorator, and received a big turn out at his funeral, and that would be that. But the genes wouldn't let him.

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    I never go to weddings. Waste of time. Person can get married a dozen times. Lots of folks do. Family like ours, know everybody in the state of Texas and around outside, why, you could spend your life going to weddings. But a funeral, that's different. You only die once.

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    In the city a funeral is just an interruption of traffic; in the country it is a form of popular entertainment.

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    Inheritance taxes are so high that the happiest mourner at a rich man's funeral is usually Uncle Sam.

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    In New Orleans the funerals remind us that Life is bigger than any individual life, and it will roll on, and for the short time that your individual life joins the big stream of Life, cut some decent steps, for God’s sake.

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    In the end, one or the other will triumph - a funeral dirge will be sung over the Soviet republic or over world capitalism.

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    I never hear the rattling of dice that it does not sound to me like the funeral bell of the whole family.

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    In our society, any man who doesn't cry at his mother's funeral is liable to be condemned to death.

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    I remember when my father passed away, we drove the funeral procession past the bank so he could say one last goodbye. That's how much the bank meant to my father.

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    In the United States large corporations control some members of Congress. All this does is delay the corporation’s funeral at our expense.

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    I remember from my father's funeral that the minister kept using a metaphor about life of a prism. And I took that away like a cherished image.

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    I remember in 'Pride and Prejudice' I had to do a scene where I broke down. And before we filmed I spent like three hours imagining my mum's funeral. Actually, she's very much alive, happy and healthy. It was really horrible.

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    Is that a birthday? 'tis, alas! too clear; 'Tis but the funeral of the former year.

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    I seldom go into a natural history museum without feeling as if I were attending a funeral.

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    I thought I'd become a funeral director when I wasn't going to be an actor. I thought I would be good at helping some people with the grieving process and with trying to get them to talk about and understand who this person was.

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    I take my only exercise acting as a pallbearer at the funerals of my friends who exercise regularly.

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    I think now that is the nature of hymns-they make us want to repeat them...they are a part of any service, and often the only part of a funeral service, that makes us feel everything is acceptable.

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    It is like watching a nation busily engaged in heaping up its own funeral pyre. So insane are we that we actually permit unmarried persons to immigrate for the purpose of founding a family with spouses and fiancées whom they have never seen.

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    It is like visiting one's funeral, like visiting loss in its purest and most monumental form, this wild darkness, which is not only unknown but which one cannot enter as oneself.

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    It's a good thing Kerry's dead, because that funeral would've sent him over the edge," Henry said.

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    I used to have an eBay addiction. I was really good at selling stuff. My sister needed to get to a funeral in Ireland - the airlines were on strike - so I listed her on eBay: damsel in distress. Guys were outbidding guys to be the hero and help her. A guy who owned a helicopter won.

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    It's interesting - you had [George] Osborne crying at [Margaret Tatcher] funeral. She would have been the first person, she would have read these tears as being as fake as the smiles of his predecessors when they knifed her in the back.

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    It's my policy not to review funerals.

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    It's not what I'd want for at my funeral. When I die, I just want them to plant me somewhere warm. And then when the pretty women walk over my grave I would grab their ankles, like in that movie.

    • funeral quotes
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    It would be so much better if the critics would come, not on first nights, but on last nights, when they could exercise their undoubted flair for funeral orations.

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    I used to sing at funeral homes for families that didn't have a vocalist. I didn't get paid. I needed to sing.

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    I've been at the funerals of a lot of people in my neighborhood. Sometimes when I sit back and relax, I think about that and just blank out.

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    I've always found the most tragic things funny. I was always the guy laughing at the funeral.

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    I've been in so many funeral scenes from The Sopranos, and I think I've even been in one on Sons of Anarchy. Those scenes, as a human being, are the most tedious scenes, of all time. You're waiting, all day, in the blistering hot heat. So, I didn't need to be there.

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    I will not insult you by trying to tell you that one day you will forget. I know as well as you that you will not. But, at least, in time you will not remember as fiercely as you do now - and I pray that that time may be soon.

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    I've just had some bad news. Tomorrow is the mother in law's funeral. And she's cancelled it.

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    I want a military funeral when I die—the bugler, the flag on the casket, the ceremonial firing squad, the hallowed ground.... It will be a way of achieving what I've always wanted more than anything—something I could have had, if only I'd managed to get myself killed in the war.... The unqualified approval of my community.

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    I went on spouting bullshit Encouragements as Gus's parents, arm in arm, hugged each other and nodded at every word. Funerals, I had decided, are for the living.

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    I walked a mile with Pleasure; She chattered all the way. But left me none the wiser For all she had to say. I walked a mile with Sorrow And ne'er a word said she; But oh, the things I learned from her When Sorrow walked with me!

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    I want Bach's Toccata and Fugue in D played at my funeral. If it isn't I shall jolly well want to know why.

    • funeral quotes
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    I want them to play Britney Spears at my funeral. This way I won't feel so bad about being dead, and everyone there will know there is something worse than Death.

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    I want to die consciously, without fear, and without anger. Three things. I see my friends dying with fear and anger and it's terrible. My grandmother kept her clothes ready for 40 years for her funeral. She lived to 103! But she kept the clothes in a cupboard. As the styles changed, she changed the clothes! I think if I start now with my funeral, it's good.

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    I was brought up by very witty people who were dealing with quite difficult things: disease and death... I was brought up by people who tended to giggle at funerals.

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    I was terrified of funerals.

    • funeral quotes
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    I will teach you my townspeople how to perform a funeral for you have it over a troop of artists unless one should scour the world you have the ground sense necessary.