Best 110 quotes of Milton Berle on MyQuotes

Valentine's Day is the day when you remember that Cupid was a lousy shot.

War toys are scary. They have a rocket launcher with a bayonet attached, in case you miss.

We inherit a lot from our parents: mom's eyes, dad's chin, and the attitude of whichever parent isn't punishing you at the moment. All of those things we have our mom's to thank for."If evolution really works, how come mothers only have two hands?

We owe a lot to Thomas Edison - if it wasn't for him, we'd be watching television by candlelight.

What an orchestra! They just sit there, but their minds are thousands of miles away with their bookies.

Who says we didn't have controversial subjects on TV back in my time? Remember Bonanza? It was about three guys in high heels living together

Why are we honoring this man? Have we run out of human beings?

You can lead a man to Congress, but you can't make him think.

You look like a normal person, if you can find a normal person who wants to look like that.

Your marriage is in trouble if your wife says, 'You're only interested in one thing,' and you can't remember what it is.