Best 240 quotes of Margaret Cho on MyQuotes

All the songs on Yankee Hotel Foxtrot are the encapsulation of heterosexual love. I have different records for gay sex.

[An article about Cho] started out, "Funny, sexy, zaftig Margaret Cho..." What is "zaftig?" Isn't that German for "big fat pig?" I guess I was lucky - "zaftig" is kind of a nice word. It could have been, "Funny, sexy, OBESE Margaret Cho.

And if the problem [with contraception] is promiscuity, then why does the immense popularity of Viagra go unchecked? Doesn't it make more sense to leave the bullets out of the gun than to try to avoid being shot? Especially when the gun is an old musket, and you have to clean it out and tamp down gunpowder, melt down scraps of lead and pour it into a mold, wait for it to cool - only to have it take forever to finally go off?

Anything Vince Clarke, whether it's Erasure, Yaz, or Depeche Mode. It's basically R&B with synths. It's very sexy music and perfect for gay sex.

As a child, I had a lot of older gay men taking care of me. There's a trust there. I feel like little girls and old gay men together - there's a safety. They make a shield from all of the bad things they've experienced in the world. They make a home together. There are no songs about that. I don't know if you remember, but there was a show a long time ago called 'Love, Sidney.'

As a comedian you are making yourself vulnerable in order to make others happy.

As a woman of color you have little more permission to go deeper and question things because your identity, in a way, is a shield. But if you come at it from a minority status, my person, who I am, softens the blow of whatever it is that I'm saying, because I am that.

Being called ugly and fat and disgusting to look at from the time I could barely understand what the words meant has scarred me so deep inside that I have learned to hunt, stalk, claim, own and defend my own loveliness.

Comedians and people in general have a cultural right to talk about their own culture and race.

Comedy is a noble art. And every comedian who does anything is serving a noble purpose.

Comedy is a noble art.

Comedy is the only weapon I have to battle totalitarianism.

Comedy was all I ever wanted.

Comedy was the key to everything. I grew up fast and controlled my future by bringing it on faster than it naturally unfolded. I cheated myself out of a childhood but then got a running headstart into adulthood that no one else could keep up with.

For me to be ten pounds thinner is a full-time job, and I am handing in my notice and walking out the door!!

For women in my family, in Korean culture, women are really valued in their youth, and then when they get older, it's like they almost become irrelevant.

[Fur] is really ridiculous. It's outrageous. We're not living in igloos. We don't need to trade pelts anymore. There is this diabolical idea that fur is fashionable. It's not. It's death. There's no excuse for it.

Grow up and let anyone try to content with the adult you.

Homophobia is a tough one. In some places it's actually very OK to be homophobic. Comedy clubs in general are very unsafe spaces for LGBT, for women, for Asian people. So my goal in comedy has sort of been to make this a safe space for people who were like me.

Humanity is a natural foil for inhumanity, and humanity is what will ultimately keep us going when all else has failed.

I always felt like an outsider growing up. In school, I felt like I never fit in. But it didn't help when my mother, instead of buying me glue for school projects, would tell me to just use rice.

I always thought that people told you that you're beautiful-that this was a title that was bestowed upon you. [...] I think that it's time to take this power into our own hands and to say, "You know what? I'm beautiful. I just am. And that's my light. I'm just a beautiful woman.

I always wonder why Republicans hate gay marriage, because they certainly don't hate gay prostitutes.

I am a big Ellen fan. I have been one for quite a long time now. I used to do the local news talk shows with her in San Francisco, when we were both still kids.

I am in love with Counting Crows. It is so manly and American.

I am into belly dancing. I used to only hang with comics. Now I have friends who are dancers, and my whole house has a harem feel.

I am so beautiful, sometimes people weep when they see me. And it has nothing to do with what I look like really, it is just that I gave myself the power to say that I am beautiful, and if I could do that, maybe there is hope for them too. And the great divide between the beautiful and the ugly will cease to be. Because we are all what we choose.

I am star-struck but also I've known a lot of people for a long time. Like I'm super star-struck by Grant Lee Phillips and Jon Brion but I've known them for 17 years. So it's kinda like weird to be star-struck still, but I still am!

I can't drag myself away from 'Final Cut Pro.' It is a digital video editing system. I am obsessed with it, but I am always away from home, and I can't use it.

I could definitely rock out to Kraftwerk's "Tour De France," Tubeway Army, or Gary Numan. All of that stuff has an infectious beat, but with "Oh Yeah," I can't even identify what's going on. It sounds like typewriter keys, a couple of synth notes and then this really deep "Oh yeah," which I always picture as Andre The Giant on vocals.

I could never make a joke about somebody unless I could say it to their face and they'd laugh.

I definitely support free speech.

I didn't appreciate the young woman that I was, or my young beauty, because I was so obsessed with the fact that I felt fat. It's never good to add to anybody else's suffering. It's an important topic to really get the gravity and the importance of - dealing with dignity.

I'd like to put across the notion that bad taste is actually good for you.

I do love the road, because for me, the road is very comfortable, and it's very much what I've always wanted to do. It's one of the most appealing things about comedy for me, so I do really have an affection for it.

I don't have children, and I am not sure if I have wanted them or never wanted them. It's weird not to be able to decide. I don't know if I could stand that kind of commitment, or if I am really honest, I don't think that I could handle being that vulnerable to someone else.

I don't know why it's anyone's business! People do what they need to do. I did it, and it was nowhere near as traumatic as being raped. I was so numb for so long that sex work for me was not a big deal.

I don't like catchphrases either. A current one would be, "Bye, Felicia." It's used so much that we don't even know the origin anymore.

I don't like people telling other people what to do. Sex work for a lot of women is really important, especially in countries where women don't have a lot of power. Here we can have at least some form ... of making money.

I don't like pot anymore -- I forget why.

I don't like to criticize music and I had a really hard time picking out the song I hate for this because I end up seeing and working with musicians all the time.

I don't really know what 'selling out' is exactly. I would sell out if I could, but nobody's buying it. I would love to go mainstream, but my comedy is too edgy. It's always too dirty. It's always too filthy. I'm dying to sell out. But I love doing comedy, I love touring, and I think I would do everything for free.

I don't think I'm gay. I don't think I'm straight. I think I'm just slutty. Where's my parade?

I don't understand the whole Christian conservativism doesn't make sense to me because I was raised very Christian and its kind of an odd thing but my parents, my family is also very conservative in their own way but I understand the bible and I studied Christianity very well and I don't see where the hatred of gays comes from because it really defeats Christ's purpose.

I don't want to bring myself down to place where there are hard and fast rules. In general I try to be compassionate, but that is dependent on the moment ultimately.

I don't want to hurt anybody because of their looks. That's been used to hurt me so much.

I feel like this song [Yello, "Oh Yeah"] was probably done in a couple of minutes in a studio. There was probably no thought behind it; they were just playing with some samples and threw it together. I feel like there's no dream behind the song. Usually there's a dream or some kind of passion attached to a song. This song feels very empty. It made a lot of money for the songwriters but at the expense of culture.

I feel sorry for anyone that I am obsessed with. I am worse than gum in your hair, very, very close to the roots.

If I'm talking to a guy who's straight and cute and single, I'm like 'are you a unicorn?'

If public figures came out of the closet, then the LGBT kids who saw them on TV would feel safe, before they even knew why they felt dangerous. Maybe if enough people came out of the closet, gay kids would never feel dangerous. Maybe we could have a world where we could all just live. We may not all agree, but why can't we just all live?