Best 6 quotes of John Swartzwelder on MyQuotes

As my exciting story began I was being punched in the stomach.

If you can take advantage of a situation in some way, it's your duty as an American to do it.

I’ll flush a copy of my bill down the toilet. You should be getting it in a couple of days.

I made a circular motion with my finger around my temple to indicate I thought this guy was crazy, forgetting that there was no one in the room to see this circular motion except him. He saw it and frowned.

They can kill the Kennedys. Why can't they make a cup of coffee that tastes good?

This guy was making me tired. “Thanks for the afternoon’s entertainment,” I said. “I’ll flush a copy of my bill down the toilet. You should be getting it in a couple of days.