Best 387 quotes in «bullshit quotes» category

getting old means getting lucky sometimes means sometimes you learn & along with other sweeter acquisitions you learn that nine tenths of what goes down is bullshit that there's just no way to be with people & not smear yr tongue with bullshit lies that it doesn't help to fuck with people & anyway once you know how it's no fun any more

Great! Now, that the crybaby whining bullshit is settled, let’s load up on one of these buses and head for the sewers!

Go peddle your bullshit somewhere else because I am not buying it anymore.

I do. I like people, but I like them in short bursts. I don't like people for extended periods of time. I'm all right with them for a little while, but once you get up past around... a minute, minute and a half, I gotta get the fuck out of there. And my reason for this... my reason is one that you may share, possibly. I have a very low tolerance level for stupid bullshit.

I once got lost in a dark woods with no supplies. Struggling to deal with nature, beasts and storms, that was time when I lost my arrogance as human.

I said never mix business with pleasure. They said it was a pleasure doing business with me.

Happy belated 4th of July to the Americans July 2, 1776, was meant for. Not the American's; some of whom's ancestors fought for the British against a nation that DIDN'T then, COULDN'T after The Emancipation Proclamation, and still CAN'T seem to recognize our basic human rights.

I don't dignify nonsense or any negative comments that anyone makes about me.

If you live long enough & have changed enough diapers like I have raising 6 whole grown adult children one-at-a-time; you ought to be able to call out bullshit blindly, in about a million different ways & plays. My potty-training days have long been over...so what fool retards at their wisdom stage? For this chief reason, I could show you better than tell you, try as you might: you cannot change grown ups diapers in life, who think you don't know how 'full of shit' they are today.

If you say bullshit on things come in handy, better revise it before others say otherwise.

If you scrollin and you happen to catch this, just know you’re a poppin ass individual and you’re way too great to deal with anybody bullshit

I have often wondered at the extreme fecundity of the press, and how it comes to pass that so many heads on which nature seemed to have inflicted the curse of barrenness should teem with voluminous productions.

I have two factories in my mind. One that manufactures bullshit, and another one that buys it.

I live first and leave the bullshit dead last

Is truth something that in fact we do—and should—especially care about? Or is the love of truth, as professed by so many distinguished thinkers and writers, itself merely another example of bullshit?

In plain English, you need to wrestle the doubts and accusations that it’s all just bullshit. And, needless to say, the majority of the work of the triple-H population is undeniably so. The reason that it’s so valuable to society is just that some of it isn’t bullshit and even a small percentage of genuine innovations of software, culture or lifestyle can have a huge impact. Still, you never quite know if you are the bullshitter or the hero, or if you are being sold utter bullshit.

I suppose she only wanted what she couldn't have. Well, people were that way. To hell with people. The Catholic Church had an awfully good way of handling all that. Good advice, anyways. Not to think about it. Oh, it was swell advice. Try and take it sometime. Try and take it.

It's a piece of piss. You know what I do? I just get up and read the paper. Then people ask questions, and I just bullshit. Actively bullshit, as opposed to passively. That's the best bit. Just bullshitting. Piece of utter piss.

It's not in the interests of the self-serving government to educate the masses to the point where they are smart enough to see through the bullshit - because then people will be too smart to vote for them again.

I wasn't sure which was worse - to know you were a liar or to believe your own bullshit.

I wonder if you can taste the bullsh*t that's coming out of your mouth.

Lying is a defiance of the truth. Bullshitting is a wholesale dismissal of the truth.

Managerialism has become the pretext for creating a new covert form of feudalism, where wealth and position are allocated not on economic but political grounds - or rather, where every day it's more difficult to tell the difference between what can be considered 'economic' and what is 'political.

I shoplifted from your height and got me some window ledge religion Since then, I have been trying to drop dead

It wasn't only the boosted experiences that bothered Rant. It was dipshit kids done up as soldiers and princesses and witches. Eating cake flavored with artificial vanilla. Celebrating a harvest that didn't occur anymore. Fruit punch that came from a factory. A ritual to placate ghosts, or whatever bullshit Halloween does, practiced by people who had no awareness of that. What bothered Rant was the fake, bullshit nature of everything.

It was the job of people like me to make up reasons, to spin a plausible yarn. And it’s amazing what people will believe. Heavy selling out of the Middle East was an old standby. Since no one ever had any clue what the Arabs were doing with their money or why, no story involving Arabs could ever be refuted. So if you didn’t know why the dollar was falling, you shouted out something about Arabs.

I value the truth. Don't feed me with bullshit.

I’ve read countless literary works that detail the longing and ache that characters have for someone they love, and over time, I have developed a strong belief that it’s just dramatic bullshit meant to entice readers.

Never bullshit a bullshitter.

Listen you little turd, don’t tell me my business. It’s not worth the risk," the Old Man snarled. "But Green … Yikes, that stings!

Nelson Mandela, dat was, toch, geloof ik, die knurft, de sufferd, met een suikerbiet in zijn linkerhand; of was, het, een ander?

One thing I don't like about crap: its size that is too big to be digested.

On the throne of the world, any delusion can become fact.

..."Remember this, take this to heart, live by it, die for it if necessary: that our patriotism is medieval, outworn, obsolete; that the modern patriotism, the true patriotism, the only rational patriotism, is loyalty to the Nation ALL the time, loyalty to the Government when it deserves it." [Czar Nicholas II] (1905) Collected Tales, Sketches, Speeches, & Essays, 1891-1910 (1992) ed. Louis J. Budd

Rubio's sudden concern for the humanitarian situation in Venezuela smacks of hypocrisy, as he supported all US sanctions that have made life for Venezuelans miserable.

She might not be as strong as everyone she met, or as fast, or even as smart. But she could bullshit with the best of them. Combine that with a license to carry, and a girl could more than get by in this life.

Our natures are, indeed, elusively insubstantial—notoriously less stable and less inherent than the nature of other things. And insofar as this is the case, sincerity itself is bullshit.

Substantiv på -ism, -het, -skap och -i kan lugnt användas utan risk för att någon fattar något. Exempel: – Jag gillar socialism. – Jaså du. Jag för min del håller på konservatism. – Då är du emot jämlikhet och broderskap då? – Nej nej, en sann konservatism främjar jämlikhet och broderskap. Men i motsats till dej anser jag demokrati vara grundläggande. – Där tar du fel. Jag håller också styvt på demokrati. Huvudsaken är ju att man får säga vad man vill. – Jaha du. Då är vi överens då. Hej du. – Hej hej. OBS: för att riktig meningslöshet skall uppstå fordras att man noga undviker att definiera dessa abstrakta termer. Om någon frågar vad man egentligen menar med t.ex. demokrati bör man svara: "Det är väl självklart", eller "Jag menar givetvis riktig demokrati", eller: "Fattar du inte det så är det ju meningslöst att tala vidare om saken", eller dylikt. Ger man sig in på definitioner kan man lätt råka säga något vettigt.

Most “gurus” are just spewing bullshit and hoping that you’re a fly.

Shit jobs tend to be blue collar and pay by the hour, whereas bullshit jobs tend to be white collar and salaried. Those who work shit jobs tend to be the object of indignities; they not only work hard but also are held in low esteem for that very reason. But at least they know they're doing something useful. Those who work bullshit jobs are often surrounded by honor and prestige; they are respected as professionals, well paid, and treated as high achievers - as the sort of people who can be justly proud of what they do. Yet secretly they are aware that they have achieved nothing; they feel they have done nothing to earn the consumer toys with which they fill their lives; they feel it's all based on a lie - as, indeed, it is.

Some irony. The girl who couldn't face her own bullshit . . . suddenly forcing everyone else to.

The bullshit detector is the biggest enemy of every religion." From: "Gesels van een imaginaire god" ('Scourges of an imaginary god')

That will teach a bitch for buying the same dam shoes as mine and for opening a shop on my block...Charli

The only way to efficiently battle evil is to copy enough to know how to counter each argument, yet not enough to believe all the bullshit.

Take the Holocaust for example: Why did God allow Hitler to kill millions of innocent Jews? Because God didn't want to step on Hitler's toes and interfere with his free will? That's a pretty lame excuse. What about the free will of all those Jews who died? I'm pretty sure that getting gassed to death was obviously not their choice. So, was the Holocaust part of God's great plan? Is that why he allowed it to happen? Is that why God didn't answer the prayers of all those Jews who begged him to make Hitler drop dead? Why didn't God just make Hitler have a heart attack before he could start World War 2? Why didn't he simply prevent Hitler from being born? How could a God who is supposed to be all good all the time allow something like the Holocaust? Or did God not just LET it happen? Maybe God MADE the Holocaust happen, because everything that happens, happens for a good reason? Are our minds simply too tiny, too inferior, to understand God's divine plan? Are we just too stupid to see the greater good that came out of the Holocaust? If that were true, and everything that happens, including the Holocaust, is part of God's perfect plan, then that means that Hitler really wasn't a bad man at all. He was actually doing God's work. And if Hitler did exactly what he was supposed to do in God's great plan, then Hitler obviously didn't have free will, but was just God's puppet. So that means Hitler was a good guy. A man of God. Sorry, but there is no religion in the world that could sell me on believing THAT bullshit.

The notion of carefully wrought bullshit involves, then, a certain inner strain. Thoughtful attention to detail requires discipline and objectivity. It entails accepting standards and limitations that forbid the indulgence of impulse or whim. It is this selflessness that, in connection with bullshit, strikes us as inapposite. But in fact it is not out of the question at all. The realms of advertising and of public relations, and the nowadays closely related realm of politics, are replete with instances of bullshit so unmitigated that they can serve among the most indisputable and classic paradigms of the concept. And in these realms there are exquisitely sophisticated craftsmen who - with the help of advanced and demanding techniques of market research, of public opinion polling, of psychological testing, and so forth - dedicate themselves tirelessly to getting every word and image they produce exactly right.

The Old Man’s "job" was to ensure success of a certain Pagan holiday celebration–an exact opposite of LDS temple instruction that signified fellow sister-brother’s unification with the Divine.

We now live in a world where counter-intuitive bullshitting is valorized, where the pose of argument is more important than the actual pursuit of truth, where clever answers take precedence over profound questions.

Unlike the Man with No Cell Phone, the Man Who Can See around Corners owns several, which he places on the table, like talismans. So far, so good. But you can imagine my disappointment when he promptly disabuses me of this seeing-around-corners stuff. "That's all bullshit," he says.

Veertien Dertien had men net zo goed kunnen overslaan, omdat er alleen maar onzin in staat. Ik heb helemaal geen zoon, laat staan dat hij een rondleiding over mij zou presenteren in zaal Concordia. Eigenlijk had men één tot en met twaalf net zo goed kunnen overslaan omdat immers alles onzin is. Ik kan het weten, ik schrijf al die bullshit.