Best 14 quotes in «gallows humor quotes» category

Often eating took considerable extra time, since he could hardly see his food, groping with a fork or spoon, enforcedly omnivorous. "Blind men wear spotted pants," Dorothy teased, telling him to wash his...

I'd like a break. I'm forty-six, so the undertow is beginning to get to me." "Then what are you good for?" she asked, in a kind tone. "Oh, a man around the house has his uses. A dildo; an ear to talk to; two arms around you; a voice from the next room when you're lonesome." "I have a dog to talk to." "That might be a deal killer.

I hammered on the Poes' front door like Alaric on the gates of Rome. Poe said that a gaudy figure of speech was a silk cravat around a dirty neck. He didn't say whether the truth lay in the plain thing or in its fancy.

I read a report that said 88% of adults trust their doctors - well, 100% of dead people don't!

Live, die, something else lives. The very soil humanity walks upon is built up from death. Digging into a flowerbed means digging into bones.

Any port in a storm.

Certainty. Life's last and kindest gift.

Fell?' he asked. 'Or was pushed?' Anton shrugged again. 'It hardly makes a difference,' he said, 'when you are the man at the bottom of the stairs.

I hope I died honorably. I have a great deal to atone for. - Eler Nersal

I kept a picture of me kissing my dad’s corpse on the forehead in my wallet for years. I’d break it out any time someone showed me a baby picture, just so they would know how it ends.

Was it tacky to get a cake during a hostage crisis? What was the protocol? She pictured chocolate frosting with white lettering: HAPPY BIRTHDAY, HOPE YOUR DAUGHTER ISN’T DEAD. But this year was her fiftieth, a year with a zero. Veronica had to do something. So on her way to the condo she’d swung by a bakery and picked up a small German chocolate cake. It was her mom’s favorite—or at least it had been, a decade ago.

We're suicidal, not innumerate.

Was it tacky to get a cake during a hostage crisis? What was the protocol? She pictured chocolate frosting with white lettering: HAPPY BIRTHDAY, HOPE YOUR DAUGHTER ISN’T DEAD. But this year was her fiftieth, a year with a zero. Veronica had to do something. So on her way to the condo she’d swung by a bakery and picked up a small German chocolate cake. It was her mom’s favorite—or at least it had been, a decade ago.-page 218 of The Thousand Dollar Tan Line

The dead, Your Honor, do not agonize over their crimes and do not long to be happy, as you know.