Best 204 quotes of Russell Brand on MyQuotes

My life is just a series of embarrassing incidents strung together by telling people about those embarrassing incidents.

My mate Karl once told me he’d been looking after this five-year-old boy who – not knowing enough to have an ironic inflection to his words – said, ‘I want something.’ He didn’t know what it was. Not ‘I want sweets’, or ‘a can of Coke’, or ‘to watch the Tweenies’, or whatever it is they’re into now (I like Bagpuss), but ‘I want something.’ All of us, I think, have that feeling. And what heroin does when you first start taking it is tell you what that something is.

Nigel Farage and Sean Hannity is like a super group of idiots.

No-one really feels self-confident deep down because it's an artificial idea. Really, people aren't that worried about what you're doing or what you're saying, so you can drift around the world relatively anonymously: you must not feel persecuted and examined. Liberate yourself from that idea that people are watching you.

No one shuts their laptop after looking at pornography and says, 'What a productive time I just spent connecting with the world!'

Normally, I'm good at first dates, 'cause that's the only date I ever have, so I know how to control it and be confident.

Of all the consumer products, chewing gum is perhaps the most ridiculous: it literally has no nourishment – you just chew it to give yourself something to do with your stupid idiot Western mouth. Half the world is starving, and the other’s going, ‘I don’t actually need any nutrition, but it would be good to masticate, just to keep my mind off things.

One of the great sadnesses of modern life, because of our disenfranchisement and disillusionment with religion, is that we don't have access to these ideas. Yoga and meditation, for me, is a way of, in this secular world, accessing very very beautiful principles that would perhaps make us happier, at a time when people feel disillusioned with the economy, concerned about the ecology, worried with politicians, and don't trust what they're being told on television.

On respect for the Queen: When I lick a stamp I always do it with my eyes closed.

Our social and economic systems are so devoid of humanity and love.

Over the road there was a church: a modern gray building, which constantly played a recording of church bells. Strange it was. Why no proper bells? I never went in but I bet it was a robot church for androids, where the Bible was in binary and their Jesus had laser eyes and metal claws.

People don't realize that the future is just now, but later.

People don't throw your bags out of windows because of lies; they throw them out because of the truth.

People do this a lot. They don't seem to realise that the future is just like now, but in a little while, so they say they're going to do things in anticipation of some kind of seismic shift in their worldview that never actually materializes. But everything's not going to be made of leather, the world won't stink of sherbet. Tomorrow is not some mythical kingdom where you'll grow butterfly wings and be able to talk to animals -- you'll basically feel pretty much the same way you do at the moment.

People have always said, are you gay? I've had a lot of that. But it's just not in me. I really like women a lot; I'm repulsed by men sexually.

Perhaps if we could popularise through the techniques of branding and consumerism, a different idea, a different narrative, perhaps the world can change. After all it changes constantly and incessantly, it's just the perceptions that we have are governed by people with self-interest and are not inalignment with the health and safety of us as individuals or as a planet.

Question all information when you receive it. You might not even trust me Look at me, I've got a blanket over me head.

Rebel children, I urge you, fight the turgid slick of conformity with which they seek to smother your glory.

Revolt in whatever way we want, with the spontaneity of the London rioters, with the certainty and willingness to die of religious fundamentalists or with the twinkling mischief of the trickster... Take to the streets, together, with the understanding that the feeling that you aren't being heard or seen or represented isn't psychosis; it's government policy.

Right, we've got these institutions of media, these financial institutions, we have the means of distribution, we have the means of production, we have all these markets and maxims in place. How do we alter the consciousness, the fundamental unifying field? How do we influence change on that level to all of the world?

Say I feel all sad and self-indulgent, then get stung by a wasp, my misery feels quite abstract and I long just to be in spiritual pain once more - 'damn you tiny assassin, clad in yellow and black, how I crave my former innocence where melancholy was my only trial'.

See all these buildings, Russell? All these buildings were once a drawing on a piece of paper, and before that they were an idea in someone’s head. Any idea that you have, you can make manifest.

Since Steve Jobs died I cannot bear to see anyone use an iPhone irreverently, what I did was a tribute to his memory.

Socialism isn't a dirty word; it just means sharing. Really, it's just the bureaucratic arm of Christianity.

Some people were just getting on with their lives, chatting, being young. It simply wouldn't do.

Sometimes, as a comedian, a line will come to you, that is so beautiful, so perfect, that you think: I did not create this line. This line belongs to all of us. Surely this is a line of God

Sometimes when we're incensed by the rancid tide of injustice, the impulse is to attack. We must avoid this. We have learned that violence as a means is always unsuccessful.

Surfing should be called "foam-choking" or "sea stabbing.

The bad-boy label is just an assumption.

The best thing you can do is fall in love. My life has been changed by falling in love.

The economy is just a metaphorical device, it’s not real. That's why it's got the word con in it.

The greatest poverty one can have is to be poor in one's heart and for falling in love, he is truly happy. He discovers purpose.

The happiest moments in our life aren't "Oh I got a new hat or a wonderful silvery object, some glistening bauble." But it's when you connect with another human being. If you can find the $18 in your pocket, you are purchasing dreams with that money.

The Holy Spirit ain't got a pen.

The more people who have access to this vital information the better society will be.

The need to find out what will happen if I don't relent or moderate my actions has been a constant source of difficulty and discomfort in my life.

Then, of course, through the umbilical link we all tumble backwards down the spiralling DNA staircase to one common ancestor in Africa, and before that some bunch of curious monkeys. Down and down we go unto the sea, unto the dust, the single cellular dust. What impulse drove one cell to become two? What yearning pulled the fish on to the land? What caused apes to walk upright? Some invisible magnetic pull. Is there a difference between attraction and intention? Where is evolution taking us?

The one measure of true love is: you can insult the other. --Slavoj Zizek

The only Revolution that can really change the world is the one in your own consciousness, and mine has already begun.

The only systems we can afford to employ are those that rationally serve the planet first, then all humanity. Not out of some woolly, bullshit tree-hugging piffle but because we live on it, currently without alternatives.

There's an interconnectivity between what's in the consciousness of cat and what's in the consciousness of us.

There's no biological reason why a man shouldn't just try to have sex with every woman he meets - all of them get pregnant and your genetics are winning.

The revolution that's required isn't a revolution of radical ideas, but the implementation of ideas we already have.

There was [really] little difference between someone acting throwing french fries in your face and someone throwing french fries in your face.

The right to free speech is important but it isn't as important as 'we're all human beings together, let's find solutions together.'

The thing for me is, what if one returns to these maxims, these rather simplistic maxims "Be the change you want to see in the world." Because what canvas have we but the self for these kind of explorations, ultimately.

The way I've been with drink and drugs suggests I have a tendency to get addicted to things.

The world isn't made of atoms, it's made of stories.

This is no time for drinking a mug of water - which you would do nowhere else in the world. A mug of water! You just don't drink water from mugs, do ya? Except on the telly. Water out of a mug! Should be a hot drink... mug of water.

Thus another friendship was dashed on the cruel rocks amid the storm of my self-destruction.