Best 9 quotes of Matthew Inman on MyQuotes

marathon: (noun) A popular form of overpriced torture wherein participants wake up at ass-o-clock in the morning and stand in the freezing cold until it's time to run, at which point they miserably trot for a god-awful interval of time that could be better spent sleeping in and/or consuming large quantities of beer and cupcakes. See also: masochism, awfulness, "a bunch of bullshit", boob-chafing, cupcake deprivation therapy

Crunches are an exercise where you lie on your back and angrily try to head-butt your crotch.

If I am sedentary at a time when I have zero excuse for being sedentary, I call this "blerching.

I grew up a fat kid, and in a way The Blerch is my former self. I run because I'm terrified of becoming that kid again.

I want to hurt, so I can heal. I'm not unhappy. I'm just busy. I'm interested. And that's okay.

My feeding habits are like that of a trained circus animal: every time I do a trick, I get a reward.

Running is a form of practiced stoicism. It means teaching your brain and body to be biochemically comfortable in a state of disrepair.

Shut up and run.

They say you should treat your body like a temple. I treat mine like a fast-moving dumpster.