Best 35 quotes in «counselling quotes» category

Being divorced does not necessarily make one’s advice on marriage useless … or useful.

Accept corrections and you’ll improve and increase.

Being an effective person-centred counsellor is not so much a matter of possessing skills and knowledge, but of having a particular set of deeply-held values and beliefs and then being able to express these qualities in interactions with other people.

In all spheres of life, we find the grace of patient endurance.

Every sacred marriage will survive all times with great love and patient commitment.

For far too long, the female gender has been plagued with stereotypes, typecasting, as well as, subtle and blatant discrimination.

Growth is a slow process and so is change in behaviour. The therapist must be patient with the process.

I have said so many times to many people on the spiritual path, 'You must be strong in yourself to help others. People who are in the emotional sea need someone who can pull them out, not someone who gets in with them and gets dragged away by the tidal wave of human emotions. We have to become emotional lifeguards.

Birds do not attend flight schools; Rivers do not attend flowing colleges; Fishes do not attend swimming conferences; Trees do not attend fruit bearing seminars... There is something that you can do automatically that someone may not do... Find it and do it! There is something someone may do automatically that you may not do; leave it for him to it!

Can a therapist make me not want to get pregnant? Can a therapist undo the trouble with my eggs, my hormones, and whatever else isn't working? I can't help it, but it feels like an insult for the doctor to send me there. Like telling people with cancer they can think themselves healthy if they try hard enough to visualize their immune cells as little sharks gobbling up the tumor. It's just blaming the victim.

Development is not about learning how to counsel but about becoming the kind of person who can counsel.

For example, in order to identify these schemas or clarify faulty relational expectations, therapists working from an object relations, attachment, or cognitive behavioral framework often ask themselves (and their clients) questions like these: 1. What does the client tend to want from me or others? (For example, clients who repeatedly were ignored, dismissed, or even rejected might wish to be responded to emotionally, reached out to when they have a problem, or to be taken seriously when they express a concern.) 2. What does the client usually expect from others? (Different clients might expect others to diminish or compete with them, to take advantage and try to exploit them, or to admire and idealize them as special.) 3. What is the client’s experience of self in relationship to others? (For example, they might think of themselves as being unimportant or unwanted, burdensome to others, or responsible for handling everything.) 4. What are the emotional reactions that keep recurring? (In relationships, the client may repeatedly find himself feeling insecure or worried, self-conscious or ashamed, or—for those who have enjoyed better developmental experiences—perhaps confident and appreciated.) 5. As a result of these core beliefs, what are the client’s interpersonal strategies for coping with his relational problems? (Common strategies include seeking approval or trying to please others, complying and going along with what others want them to do, emotionally disengaging or physically withdrawing from others, or trying to dominate others through intimidation or control others via criticism and disapproval.) 6. Finally, what kind of reactions do these interpersonal styles tend to elicit from the therapist and others? (For example, when interacting together, others often may feel boredom, disinterest, or irritation; a press to rescue or take care of them in some way; or a helpless feeling that no matter how hard we try, whatever we do to help disappoints them and fails to meet their need.)

I believe that even our most abstract and philosophical views spring from an intensely personal base.

It is in the nature of helping and counselling to be a process moving towards something rather than arriving at a state of completion.

Marriages can endure any difficulty with unfailing love and dedication.

Part of the discipline of the person-centred approach is not to make assumptions about the client's appropriate process, but to follow the process laid out by the client.

Psychotherapy and counselling should make people aware of themselves and of the difficulties which they face. This then gives them the freedom to choose for themselves. In this sense, unlike behaviour therapy, psychotherapy is value-free: no advice, suggestions or recriminations are given. Indeed the only value of psychotherapy is respect for the individual. Such respect, however, in a mechanistic and objectifying society ... becomes a political act.

Some people would have killed themselves and/or someone else if they were single; and some people would not have done that.

It was regarded as almost outside the proper interest of an analyst to give systematic attention to a person's real experiences.

I wish I had a magic wand to make things better, but therapy doesn't work that way.

Marriage brings together not just a man and his wife but their children and their struggles. To suddenly drop the partner who has carried that load with you along life's journey for all these years for someone with no strings or worries attached is cruel. Marriage is not a commercial enterprise in which you replace a car you have tired of with another one.

Maturity means being able to tolerate, on all sorts of planes, uncertainty and not knowing.

My father told me, ‘my son, don’t ever undermine the power of patience; it brings a lot of hidden things to realities and it enhances understanding; it can uplift you and it can also break you down! After certain steps in life, you shall know patience well! Handle patience well with patience; it is such an awesome weapon in the battle of life! When you have to move with patience, get the heart of patience to do that or else you shall understand patience well because of impatience! When you have to go with impatience, be swift, but remember patience in the action! In the end, one thing that will give you a very good picture of the journey of your life is the mirror of patience’. After he had spoken, I sat quietly and pondered over patience!

Some people spend years in counselling trying to cope with being fucked up. I just move on. The fucked-upness always goes. The conventional wisdom is that you're running away, you should learn to cope with being fucked-up. I don't hold with that. Life is a dynamic rather than a static process, and when we don't change it kills us. It's not running away, it's moving on.

Spiritual counselling is helping people find the deep root of stillness in themselves, which is also a connection to everything else.

There is a perfect marriage. Any marriage counselor can tell you that.

Suffering is a form of knowledge. It tells us what is wrong with our world.

The aim of therapy is not to help people transition through a sex change, and nor is it to try to persuade them against having a sex change. Neither of these aims is appropriate as they would indicate an overt or hidden agenda on the part of the therapist, who would not be in a position to help the patient, as their own political, moral or religious ideals would interfere with their ability to adopt an essentially impartial position.

The counsellor who never reads a novel or never opens a book of poetry is neglecting an important resource for empathic development.

The role of Cherishing in Bereavement - I think that the key to healthy grieving is to cherish those who have passed on, so that you celebrate their lives and the times you did have together with thankfulness, instead of trying to cling on and wish that things were different. I believe that you should let them go in peace with love, not try to hang on to their spirits, just hold the precious moments gently in your heart.

There’s a reason why many people feel most loved and cared for in the therapists’s or counselor’s office: few people ask us questions as well as they do, with the interest that they do. We should consider deprofessionalizing that task, though, and restore it to the context of friendship and mentorship where it originally belonged.

To lovers out there... Don’t hate your partner to ignore the things that matter to you. Teach them what matters to you , so that it can matter to them too. Don't think they don’t care about you, because of something that matters to you it doesn’t matter to them.

You must not give up in the middle of the journey. May you have grace to travel onward.

Too often the survivor is seen by [himself or] herself and others as "nuts," "crazy," or "weird." Unless her responses are understood within the context of trauma. A traumatic stress reaction consists of *natural* emotions and behaviors in response to a catastrophe, its immediate aftermath, or memories of it. These reactions can occur anytime after the trauma, even decades later. The coping strategies that victims use can be understood only within the context of the abuse of a child. The importance of context was made very clear many years ago when I was visiting the home of a Holocaust survivor. The woman's home was within the city limits of a large metropolitan area. Every time a police or ambulance siren sounded, she became terrified and ran and hid in a closet or under the bed. To put yourself in a closet at the sound of a far-off siren is strange behavior indeed—outside of the context of possibly being sent to a death camp. Within that context, it makes perfect sense. Unless we as therapists have a good grasp of the context of trauma, we run the risk of misunderstanding the symptoms our clients present and, hence, responding inappropriately or in damaging ways.

With perseverance and endurance you can survive any storm.