Best 1773 quotes in «abuse quotes» category

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    How could she love him after what he did to her? How could she contemplate taking him back?” It’s sad that those are the first thoughts that run through our minds when someone is abused. Shouldn’t there be more distaste in our mouths for the abusers than for those who continue to love the abusers?

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    How could you pull me so close Only to push me away Why do I feel there's something lacking And the terrible part is I don't know what's missing

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    How confused they were when they saw how much I’d grown. Like, ‘Should we scorn her because she’s a kid? Or should we objectify her because she’s a woman? What kind of shit should we make her feel like?’

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    how do i welcome in kindness when i have only practiced spreading my legs for the terrifying what am i to do with you if my idea of love is violence but you are sweet if your concept of passion is eye contact but mine is rage how can i call this intimacy if i crave sharp edges but your edges aren't even edges they are soft landings how do i teach muself to accept a healthy love if all i've ever known is pain

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    How do we find words for describing levels of betrayal and emotional, physical, sexual and spiritual torture that fragment and destroy a child or cast and case traumatic shadows over the whole of adult life? We might, as a society, slowly find it possible to accept that one in four citizens are likely to have experience some form of emotional, psychical, sexual or spiritual abuse (McQueen, Itzin, Kennedy, Sinason, & Maxted, 2008), in itself a figure unimaginable and hidden twenty years ago. However, accepting the way a hurt and hurting parent or stranger re-enacts their disturbance with a vulnerable child or children remains far easier to digest than to consider the intellectually planned, scientific, methodical, procedures of organized child-abusing perpetrators-in other words, torture.

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    However much he denied it, he always hoped that they'd be kinder to each other one day, like people who were grateful to survive something instead of people still fighting to survive. Wherever that small seed of hope resided, it no longer exists, and what they were to each other is what they will always be. Tethered somehow. Dawn together by a force that should've kept them close but repelled them instead.

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    How do you tell someone it’s surprisingly easy to surrender to horror once you accept there’s no way out? Survival is simply the art of suffering gracefully when we’re up against forces out of our control. I lost my fear of dying because I expected it every minute of every day. Tomorrows only exist in our minds.

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    How everyone is struggling for something. Trying to keep the balance. Struggling to find their way back. Doing the best they can with what they've been dealt. Staying in place, doing anything to keep from sinking. To keep from rising. Until something changes. Like a day at school, a friend for lunch, someone standing up for you. And the choice to feel. Standing before you. Realizing what part is yours. What you can and can't do. Who you are. Who you are meant to be. More than the sum of all your broken parts.

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    How long y' think it'll take t'git that wild streak out im?" "Well, Brother Tiggins, that'll depend on how long he can weather the leather.

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    How much maltreatment and exploitation could someone handle before losing self-control?

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    Humility is not weak, powerless, faint, a pushover, a punching bag or an abuse magnet, because above all — humility cares.

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    I almost shudder at the thought of alluding to the most fatal example of the abuses of grief which the history of mankind has preserved - the Cross. Consider what calamities that engine of grief has produced! With the rational respect that is due to it, knavish priests have added prostitutions of it, that fill or might fill the blackest and bloodiest pages of human history. {Letter to Thomas Jefferson, September 3, 1816]

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    I alone can heal myself, I alone am responsible for it, I alone have the authority and control over my healing, I am answerable to my healing and I alone can do it.

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    I also believe that forgiveness is appropriate only when parents do something to earn it. Toxic parents, especially the more abusive ones, need to acknowledge what happened, take responsibility, and show a willingness to make amends. If you unilaterally absolve parents who continue to treat you badly, who deny much of your reality and feelings, and who continue to project blame onto you, you may seriously impede the emotional work you need to do.

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    I am a survivor and this fact is knitted inside the deepest foundation of my reality, one of the many impacts that shaped me into who I am now!

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    I am free because I fought for freedom, I am a Survivor.

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    I am not damaged goods, I am not a product of my past. I am whole!

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    I am not damaged goods, I am not a product of my past. I whole!

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    I am often asked whether physical aggression by women toward men, such as a slap in the face, is abuse. The answer is: “It depends.” Men typically experience women’s shoves or slaps as annoying and infuriating rather than intimidating, so the long-term emotional effects are less damaging. It is rare to find a man who has gradually lost his freedom or self-esteem because of a woman’s aggressiveness.

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    I am permitted to care for myself!

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    I am small. So are stars from a distance. It's all a matter of perspective.

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    I am releasing my own demons of times gone by and seizing the opportunity to find my own corner, my own fortress, my own calm and peace. Life is not unfair.

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    I am stronger than my reasonings because I am a Survivor

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    I begin to reason with myself, to doubt whether I had spoken clearly: what had I whispered and what had I screamed? I decide that if I had asked differently, been more calm, he would have stopped. I write this until I believe it, which doesn't take long because I want to believe it. It's comforting to think the defect is mine, because that means it is under my power.

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    I believe we all heal differently, it is a process, and many like me are here to help you as you heal, as you recover.

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    I became skilled at covering my tracks, filling in the blanks. Sometimes the blanks were never filled. At other times, I would recall places where I had been or things I had done as if from a dream, which made the playback of my father and other men abusing me seem I even less real, fantasies conjured up from my imagination, not my memory. Perhaps somebody else’s memory. I didn’t think of myself as having mental-health problems. You don’t at sixteen. I thought of myself as being special, highly strung, moody.

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    I became well known for researching what the corporate government did not want researched.

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    I believe nobody was ever so used by a friend as I have been by her ever since coming to the Crown.

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    I came to this house for safety. They came because the foster care system ran out of homes. We stayed because we were stray pieces of other puzzles, tired of never fitting.

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    I can identify with their shame and ache because I share a past of childhood abuse. In this, I am convinced: if I can do this, you definitely can too.

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    I can just conceive of the pit of despair, the notion of being powerless and the essence of existence through it entirely

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    I can’t change the past abuse, but I can change the impact it has on me today!

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    I decided I would not go to court to have my mother declared incompetent, I would not fight. I put the car in drive and hit the gas. I felt as if I'd jumped off a sinking ship and was in a life raft with my little girl, my face turned away from the horror, rowing, rowing, as fast and as hard as I could in the opposite direction.

  • By Anonym

    I could tell he wanted the best for me. Of course, he assumed that would be getting out. Everyone always thought that, not of what we had to go back to, at home. Maybe our parents had thrown away our mattresses. Maybe they'd told our siblings we'd been run over by trains, to make our absence fonder. Not everyone had a parent. It could be that nothing was waiting for us. Our keys would no longer fit the locks. We'd resort to ringing the bell, saying we've come home, can't we come in? The eye in the peephole would show itself, and that eye could belong to a stranger, as our family had moved halfway across the country and never informed us. Or that eye could belong to the woman who carried us for nine months, who labored for fourteen hours, who was sliced open with a C-section to give us life, and now wished she never did. The juvenile correctional system could let us out into the world, but it could not control who would be out there, willing to claim us.

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    Identify your views and feelings are effective and that you should not beat yourself up for owning them.

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    I didn’t know yet how wanting to die could be a bloodsong in your body that lives with you your whole life. I didn’t know then how deeply my mother’s song had swum into my sister and into me. I didn’t know that something like wanting to die could take form in one daughter as the ability to quietly surrender, and in the other as the ability to drive into death head-on. I didn’t know we were our mother’s daughters after all.

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    I did not need an unstable relationship to teach me about the evils of broken promises. I had parents for that.

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    I did right by raising my voice!

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    I do not know very much about painting, but I know enough to know that the Art Teacher did not know much about it either and that, furthermore, she did not know or care anything at all about the way in which you can destroy a human being. Stephen, in many ways already dying, died a second and third and fourth and final death before her anger.

  • By Anonym

    I do not subscribe to the abuse "victim" or "survivor" mentality. I have experienced every kind of abuse imaginable and I am and always have been the most happy go-lucky, positive and life affirming person around. Your labels do not serve you, so don't use them as an excuse to be miserable. You have a beautiful life to live, so accept the beauty and start living.

  • By Anonym

    I do not subscribe to the abuse "victim" or "survivor" labelling mentality. I have experienced every kind of abuse imaginable and I am and always have been the most happy-go-lucky, positive and life affirming person around. Your labels do not serve you, so don't use them as an excuse to be miserable. You have a beautiful life to live, so accept the beauty and start living.

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    I'd lost myself in the abyss of someone else's tyranny...again.

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    i don't blame you for not knowing how to remain soft with me. sometimes i stay up thinking of all the places you are hurting which you'll never care to mention. i come from the same aching blood. from the same bone so desperate for attention i collapse in on myself. i am your daughter. i know the small talk is the only way you know how to tell me you love me. cause it is the only way i know how to tell you.

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    I do not use psychiatric terms in my writing because the entrenched and developing behaviours were perfectly normal reactions to abnormal situations.

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    I don't forgive him," I said. "Hell, no, you don't. And why should you? So he can feel better? Get on with his life? And what's he done to help you get on with yours?

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    I don't have a problem w/ people not knowing about oppression & social issues. I DO have a problem w/ people standing their ground in ignorance. Viciously, even violently, protecting that ignorance from the light of truth. I do have a problem with that.

  • By Anonym

    i dreamt i crawled on top of you and kissed your hips, one at a time, my lips a smolder. i straddled your waist and pressed both shaking hands against your torso. spongy, like an old tree on the forest floor. i push and your flesh sinks inwardly, collapsing with decay, a soft shushing sound. a yawning hole where your organs should be. maggots used to live here until your own poison killed them off. i laid my cheek into the loam and three little mushrooms brushed over my eyelid. peat, decomposing matter, all of it, whatever you wish to call it, rested in the cavity of your chest. and there i planted seeds in the hopes something good would come out of you.

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    I don't understand why some kids git a good school and mother and father and some don't. But Rita say forgit the WHY ME shit and git on to what's next.

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    I experience what it is to exist in perpetual fear, afraid, totally controlled, manipulated, ashamed at all times and many more things one can’t still think to talk around.

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    I'd represent "Love" when it sued hypocritical writers for abuse.